Alice in Borderland ~ Chishiya

15 - ♦5

'Are you sure you want to join me?' Raiden asks calculatingly as we walk through the backstreets of Tokyo. 'You still have one more day left.' I notice that I'm starting to feel his weight less and less and that he mainly tries to walk on his own, but it's clear that it still hurts him a bit. 'There's no one here,' I reply. 'Don't be stubborn and just lean on me. As soon as we cross the road to the arena, you can pretend that nothing is wrong, so that the other players don't notice that you're in pain.'

'Things are going much better,' he mumbles in response. 'It only hurts when I put a lot of pressure on it.' I sigh. 'So don't do that when you don't have to.' He's just as stubborn as I am. He doesn't want to take help from others. He wants to do it all by himself, because taking help seems weak and he doesn't want to be weak, but I know he isn't. Weak people wouldn't be able to hang on to that bar for so long.

He sighs before putting his hand back on my shoulder and I can feel his weight again. A few more streets and we arrive at our chosen arena. I'm not showing him anything, but I'm a little worried about the game. What if it's something physical? His ankle is almost back to normal, but he can stretch the injury again if he pushes too much. His urge to survive would keep him going during the game, but things could turn out wrong if he continues to put too much force on it.

From the corner of my eye I can see Raiden looking at me, but I keep looking ahead. He expresses the doubts I am somewhat concerned about. 'What if it's a physical challenge?' he asks. 'If I don't have to betray you to survive, I'll do my best to help you as much as possible,' I reply. 'But if that endangers my own life, you'll be out of luck.'

'And if I die because you have to save yourself, would you be able to easily live with that?' I hope for him that he doesn't have to participate in a high level hearts game soon, because he's not exactly good at mind games. He's trying to persuade me not to participate and leave him to his own devices, as there's a chance I'll have to leave him behind during the game. He knows I'd have a hard time with that, but it will be much harder if I didn't even try to help him.

I look at him to answer his question, but then I realize that he secretly hopes that I'll participate. I can see it on his face, which he quickly turns away, but I did see it. Otherwise, he would have done his best to convince me that I should wait out of the arena. This has been a weak effort, which he doesn't even continue.

'You can still back out,' he tries, but there's no energy in his voice. We stop at the end of the street. He takes his hand off my shoulder and we both stand up straight. I take the first few steps on the main road. 'Come on, slowpoke,' I say, 'otherwise you'll be too late for the registration.' He starts to grin at me. I can see that he wants for me to go with him and to not leave him behind, but I can also see the question that lies within him. We share the same question. Why do I go with him when I still have one more day before my visa expires?

He's a strong player, someone I don't want to compete with. I think of the comment he made as a joke. "If I can barely walk on it, I bet you'd join. You can always throw me to the lions when it suits you, then." We both know that's not the reason why. I meant what I said: when it comes down to my own life or his, I choose mine. But when it comes down to my own life and his, I will choose that. I'm not going to abandon him without even trying to help him first.

We cross the street and stop in front of the illuminated shop. The front door has been pulled out and there's no one in the store yet. I see a piece of paper with an arrow pointing forward. It leads to a staircase that goes up. 'Are we sure?' I ask while looking at Raiden. 'Something in me tells me that a game in a gun shop can get very tricky.' I know that tension is building in both of us, but not in a negative way exactly. Our hearts begin to beat with excitement. Something is about to happen again.