Lover's Fantasia

August

you weren't mine to lose 

Summer 2019

Between

Gigi sat in the back of the jeep in silence, listening to Rosy talk on the phone with Symone. Hunter kept his eyes on the road, but Gigi could feel him looking at her every minute or so. Like he thought she was going to break or something. "Yeah so we dropped Crystal off at the airport- yeah she was on the show with Gigi- well that's why I'm bringing her up cause- Symone- Listen I'm trying to say that- stop asking questions! WE WILL BE HOME IN FIFTEEN MINUTES AND THEN GIGI WILL TELL US EVERYTHING! No, she hasn't told us anything cause... well... yeah. I- YES SYMONE BECAUSE SHE WAS CRYING," Gigi and Hunter's heads both whipped to glare at Rosy. "Sorry Geege," Rosy muttered, shooting her a bashful smile. "We'll be there soon, Symone. Bye," Rosy hung up the phone and turned around in her seat, grabbing Gigi's hand. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

"It's okay," Gigi forced a smile. She really couldn't be bothered to care. Not when she had just said goodbye to Crystal. Not when she had just found out about... everything. Not when the fire in Gigi's chest had turned into a cold, empty... nothingness. Not when Crystal was worlds away.

As Hunter pulled into the driveway, Gigi saw Symone sprinting out the door to meet them. Despite everything, Gigi was relieved to see Symone and rushed out of the car to hug her.

"Geeeeeeeeeege," Symone whispered, arms wrapped tight around her.

"Hi," Gigi was choked up, realizing she was actually back. She could be normal again. Well, until the season was announced. Gigi knew her life would be utter chaos once the season aired. For now, she could just be one of the successful L.A. queens. Symone pulled away, grinning at Gigi.

"You had a whole welcoming entourage ready, but I told them you were exhausted and would see everyone tonight. Let's go to your place and talk, okay?" Symone said evenly. Gigi couldn't find the words but nodded gratefully as they crossed the street to her house.

"Everything is... the same," Gigi was confused walking through her house. Everything was exactly where she had left it, untouched. But it all felt so utterly foreign, almost like Gigi was walking through a movie set of her house. Wasn't she just in her hotel room with Crystal? How did she get here? "Did anything happen? While I was gone?" Gigi asked in an odd voice, looking around.

"No. We had an awfully boring time without you. Everything is the same as it was when you left," Symone answered, unbothered. Rosy's back was to Gigi, staring at one of the posters on the wall. But Hunter was looking at Gigi, a concerned expression on his face. Gigi could feel his calculating eyes on her and turned to look at him. Why was everything the same?

"Geege? What's up?" Hunter asked cautiously, slowly crossing to her. Rosy wasn't looking at the poster anymore.

"If... if nothing changed..." Gigi struggled to find the words, taking a deep shuddering breath. "If nothing changed... Why does... Why does it all feel so... why do I feel so different?" her voice was barely above a whisper, and she was mortified to feel tears springing to her eyes. "What's wrong with me?" Gigi's voice cracked, and Symone quickly rushed to her, sitting her down on the couch.

"Gigi... what the hell happened?" Rosy asked in her sweet voice. Gigi knew that voice like the back of her hand. Why did it sound so... foreign?

"I... I don't even know," Gigi whispered. Hunter rolled his eyes and plopped down next to Gigi on the couch.

"Bullshit. She met someone. Crystal... Methyd? One of the queens. And someone obviously self-destructed and fell for her during the show despite the fact that she lives halfway across the country. And has a boyfriend. And now she's... yeah," Hunter trailed off, and Gigi couldn't help but laugh. Oh yeah. Crystal. That's why everything had felt so different, so foreign. Gigi had been off in her own little world during Drag Race, just her and Crystal getting through the competition together, leaning on each other. And now she was back in the real world.