Lover's Fantasia

Always You

i went to so many places looking for you in their faces

Esperance- hope, expectation

Gigi felt it. A shift. The shift she had been waiting for.

The Tectonic plates.

After London, they continued as if nothing happened. They got on the train back to Amsterdam the next day as if Gigi didn't say Crystal broke her heart. Because Crystal did hear it, and she understood, but it didn't change anything between them. Because it never did. And Gigi truly felt all the dust settle, then get blown behind them in the summer breeze.

And now they both knew it was only a matter of time.

They were going back to Amsterdam even closer, even stronger after London. All Gigi had to do now was wait. Wait for Crystal to smile at her just right, to say something that caused them both to erupt into giggles, something that would make Gigi say "fuck it" and kiss Crystal, to confess all.

But every time Gigi thought she could maybe do it, she held back. She hated being scared, but god she was terrified. Losing Crystal once was like losing the sun, losing her again would be like losing the world. And Gigi couldn't risk losing the world. Luckily, she and Crystal didn't have much time to see each other in private because preparations for Pride were really starting to kick into gear.

"It's like Drag Race again!" Jaida said one early morning. She and Michelle had slumped downstairs, sunglasses on and coffees in hand. "I hate it. Fuckin twelve hour workdays..."

"What happened to you two?" Crystal asked from beside Gigi, shoulders brushing.

"I thought it would be a good idea to go to a wine tasting... Jaida thought it would be a good idea to drink a whole glass of each wine. Happy Pride bitches," Michelle yawned. Crystal and Gigi just laughed. The four spent their days working on their float, rain or shine. And being in Amsterdam, it was mostly rain.

"I just feel like we should honor the lesbians by honoring LARRY STYLINSON!" Crystal said, holding up blue and green paint swatches.

"I agree! I agree with Crystal," Gigi laughed.

"We can honor... whatever... but we are ultimately here to promote Drag Race," Michelle reminded them, trying not to laugh. They decided to make a float resembling the main runway at Drag Race, not realizing how much work that would be.

"WE GOTTA BUILD THIS SHIT? WHAT THE FUCK MEECH?" Jaida yelled.

"There's four of us, we can build a little stage," Gigi said confidently, despite having no fucking idea how to build a stage.

"We need those sexy twins from Cupcake Wars. This shit is hard!" Jaida exclaimed one day as she attempted to work a power drill. Turns out building a float is hard. Their schedules were soon booked. Between building the float, designing their Pride looks, and doing their performances, Gigi and Crystal could barely see each other in private at all.

So every night they would go out on the balcony together to smoke. And it was so nice. Some nights they were too tired to talk, other nights they would stay up till 3 am laughing, not really regretting it when they dragged their feet downstairs the next morning. Either way, they made time for each other.

One night, Crystal decided to stay late to add some final touches on the float. When she returned, Gigi was waiting on the balcony, joint in hand, and Crystal immediately melted into her chair. She scooted close enough so she could lay her head on Gigi's shoulder. And Gigi didn't even have to think, she just wrapped an arm around Crystal, holding her close.

"M'tired..." Crystal murmured.

"I know, do you just want to go to bed?" Gigi asked, running her hand through Crystal's curls. Crystal took a deep breath.