The smile that left your eyes

Part 6

"I'm not interested in taking any therapy from anyone. I prefer to be like how I am now and I hope my syndrome or disorder is nothing fatal" Tae and Namjoon were kinda shocked listening to this

"Are you serious about this?" Namjoon questioned me as I nodded and continued eating my lunch.

He didn't ask me anything more. 

We all finished our lunch and I went to save a seat in the living room. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel so tired. Maybe because of thinking too much which I never did in the past 7 years. These guys came back into my life to literally make my stress more and happiness less.

Namjoon sat beside me and Taehyung sat opposite me.

"I didn't know Mr.Kim would be this free," I said looking at him. He just smiled at me. Was he always this soft? Definitely not, then why is he acting like this now?

"No need to look at me like that. I changed a lot y/n" God he can even read minds.

"Usually people who get rejected change after that. But here it's the opposite" I said to Namjoon. 

He was calm and he kept looking at me and Tae. Tae came and knelt in front of me. Is he gonna propose to me?

"I'm sorry for rejecting you like that y/n ah. I didn't mean to. I was so childish back then" he spoke and took a deep breath.

"You know how my dad used to keep an eye on my grades and scold me when I get second place in class. I wanted to concentrate on my studies and hence I made a very bad move" he held my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb.

"Believe me, you are my source of love and happiness. But seeing you like this now-" he hand fell on my lap.

I don't know why these guys are caring this much about my mental health.

"We wanted you to be happy and enjoy every part of your life like those days" Namjoon spoke up.

"Kim Taehyung, even I was the topper of our class every time and I didn't get distracted by those feelings. You can at least say now that you didn't like me back then" I looked away.

I'm feeling hurt. These guys are bringing back my emotions and I don't want that.

"Anyways, my decision is final and I'll get going now" I stood up and collected my things.

"You can call me anytime and talk to me anything you want, like before. At least you won't avoid me right?" Namjoon asked me as I was getting into my car

"I can't lose you again Oppa" I smiled at him as I got into my car and drove away to my house.

After that uncomfy meet, where all the eyes were on me like I did something wrong, I finally came to my home to have some time for myself. Well, I don't consider my session with Namjoon as my time cause that was nothing but a headache for me. I wonder why he didn't try to convince me to take therapy. I laid on my bed staring at the white plain ceiling, which was empty and blank as my heart. 

Why did I even reject the therapy? Namjoon was doing it for me, right? But one thing is for sure, I'm not ready to face this world with my old self again. It's better to be emotionless like this. Anyone or anything doesn't bother me or to say, I don't get bothered by anything. Would it really be okay, if I keep living like this? Arghh! I don't know and without realizing it, I went into a deep slumber.

It was 9 pm when I woke up. I didn't even have my dinner yet. Strangely, my maid didn't bother to wake me. She usually nags at me for not eating well and not having a healthy sleep schedule as I always work overnight. Guess she's letting me sleep while I can. I made my way to the hall and there he is, playing freefire on his mobile, sitting on the couch.