Affinity

Look What You've Done To Me

"What are you doing here?" I burst out of the back doors, where a somewhat normal neighborhood appears. My emotions were everywhere. I was suppose to be mad at him, but I can't help feeling the relief and happiness arise that he actually came and found me.

I take a glance behind me at him, his mouth crooked in a wide smile. It makes it tough to be mad at him, so I look away.

"I found myself, Taylor." He grabs my hands, pulling me back around quickly. "I know what I want now, and who I want. And I want you, I found you."

"In London? You came all the way to London?" I say in disbelief. He came all the way to London just to find me. It took months to find himself but he wasted no time to find me.

"I didn't know when you'd be back to the States. And I found out you'd be here and I don't know, I had to find you." He has this new childlike excitement to him. Like the world has this new look to him and he cherishes everything just a little bit more. "I know I was a jerk, and I'm sorry. I can never make that up to you. But these past few months without you- they've just been torture. I was confused at first, took a lot of walks, did a lot of reading, hairpulling, ect. But when I ran into you at that club.. it was just like fate. Something clicked for me that night to make me realize what an idiot I've been to not cherish you for all you're worth. I'm not asking for you to forgive me."

He pauses, staring me down with an intensity I'd never seen before. His hands cover each of mine down to my side and I let them because of how much I missed him. I missed the feeling, and I'm going to let him do that even though I haven't forgiven him yet.

"I love you, Taylor. And I know you probably don't believe me because of all the stuff I've said in the past. But if you won't believe me right now, let me prove it to you. I'll do anything, just let me be here for you. Let me prove my worth."

With that, my heart leaps again. This time because I can see it in his eyes that he means it, but he needs to show me. I need to know for myself that I love him, truly. I don't want any more questions. I want us to be honest and our love to be honest and true and right and a love where we know who we are as much as we know each other. I want is to last.

"Adam-" I start but he presses his hands to my cheeks and kisses me. I don't have the strength to resist him. I've been longing for this, weak for his touch, and the feel of his body pressed to mine. And I kiss him back, fervently, because I don't know how many times I'll get to do this, but I'm desperate for it to happen again.

He makes me want to melt into the ground, to just disappear into his arms. I pull him impossibly closer, my hands threading through his hair and down his back. Finally, after what seems like a century, Adam pulls away from my lips, our foreheads resting against each others.

"I missed you." I say over our ragged breaths. I feel the need to kiss him again, or to just tell him that I love him, but I know it's just the moment, the emotions welling up against me.

"I missed you, too," He says, slowly tracing his thumbs across my cheeks. "I missed you so much."

He wraps me in his arms, and somewhere inside of me I know I shouldn't be. I shouldn't forgive him this easily, and I'm not-not yet- I just need to be with him right now. I can't be mad at him, I don't have the energy to.

I end up taking him back to my room, dismissive to his idea of a hotel. He can stay on the couch, but he doesn't need to spend his money on a hotel room. And, to be honest, I need him with me.

I open the door, walking in and heading straight to the kitchen to feed the cats, but I watch carefully as Adam takes off his jacket, observing the room carefully.