Affinity

Slowly Driftin'

••A/N
Hey guys, this chapter is from Adam's point of view

Four days ago, I went back to New York. It wasn't to find her. I wasn't ready, I'm still not. I couldn't help myself from coming back, this is the closest I can get without actually coming back. Also, I had to get out of that town if i was going to make an actual decision.

Obviously, I knew not going with Taylor was ridiculous. Mackenzie was dead despite whatever I may hope for and clinging onto her memory was hopeless. But I wasn't over her, Taylor was right. I just was determined to get over her before I go back to Taylor. I couldn't put her through anymore. I had promised not to hurt her but I have and I need to make that right. But first I have to make sure that I won't hurt her again.

If you've ever tried to get over someone before, you know you'll do anything to do it. Personally, I haven't known what to do. I talked to Joshua about it but he's been really busy, and he had invited me to grab a drink tonight but pretty much a couple minutes ago, he called saying he got a call from the office and he had to come in. So, here I am, alone at this bar. It smells like mainly smoke and sweat, the bass basically rocks the place, and the amount of women in very short dresses in here are insurmountable.

I head inside anyway, nearly making it to the bar before a girl nearly runs into me.

"Hey soldier, why don't you buy me a drink?" She deliberately puts herself in my way, resting her fingertips on my shoulder while she whispers in my ear.

In my state of confusion and rage she'd even try this, I almost push her down but she's already flush against my chest. She smells strongly of perfume and something metallic, probably hairspray, and her dress cut too low for what I'm use to.

I thought of Taylor then. Of her hair splayed across his chest. Of the way her knee had felt sliding up my thigh. I remembered her mouth and the way she giggled and looked up at me through her lashes when she thought I wasn't watching. Of the way she talked and the way she handled people. How she was with her fans.

I felt how much I have ached in the last week without her, knowing I couldn't call her, and her place inside me grew shadowed, and suddenly all I can remember is the fight. How she had made everything seem good and right. It wasn't me that was cold, it was her unreachable, untouchable, too good for trash like me. She was probably laughing right now with her friends about how she packed her bags and showed me. She was probably hiding the fact I had ever existed from the guy who had taken my place.

And suddenly I hate her. I hate how she is torturing me, living inside of me as a reminder of everything I can't have.

I grab the blonde's shoulders and kissed her hard on the mouth, watching the way her eyelids grew heavy and closed, tasting the whiskey on her breath. She snakes her arms around my neck and when she pulled back I hear the drunken guys cheer, and I find myself hating them too.

Maybe this girl sensed I was angry, because she grabs my hand and led me down the hall. At the end of it, an office left unlocked is set and as we enter, she locks the door behind us.

My buzz-or what remained- was smothered.

The lights were bright here, and my head pounds from the absence of the bass.

In the light, her face was more visible and makeup was caked across her skin, and her eyes were smudged with black liner. She looked hard and fake, so unlike Taylor who was soft and real to me.

"What's your name?" I ask suddenly, feeling awkward.

She flips off the lights, and winds her hands around my neck again without an answer.