Behind the End - Herophine

45 - AFTER THE END

HERO

"We need to talk!"

Those two words stuck in my head for a while, Jô sent me this message, and she wanted to talk to me by video call in a hour. We didn't speak properly for two days, two days ago the year turned, it's finally 2021 and everything can change! Literally.

I even imagine what she wants to talk about, I think we feel the same, I feel that what we have... This thing, liking someone liveing in different countries is one of the most difficult things that can exist. Not seeing the person, smelling her, touching her, it's frustrating and at the same time, I feel like... We might be wasting time on something that might... Not work...

She calls me: I close my eyes for a few seconds, take a deep breath, and answer the video call that appeared on my cell phone screen with her picture:

"Hi..." I see her pretty face, she's got her hair up, her eyes are swollen... She's beautiful, as always, and I can't contain my smile, my heart races:

"Hi Jô!"

"Is everything okay over there?"

"Yes yes... Are you okay?"

"All right!" She stares at me, still smiling, but looks undecided about something, her smile disappears:

"Hero, I was thinking... Since New Year's... In fact, the next day because on New Year's I was a little too drunk to think..." She smiles quickly and disappears again.

"Yeah... I think I even know what you're going to say and..."

"Hero, this isn't going to work!" We stared at each other in silence.

"Yeah..."

"I know we have to try... But you remember how it was last year... It was crazy, we didn't feel good, I was imagining things and so were you... It won't do us any good..."

"Jô! I... I agree with you!" She breathes slowly.

"Do you agree with me?"

"Yes! I always agree with you..."

"But..."

"Hey, what I feel for you won't change, Jô, everything we've lived through, everything we've felt... We can't forget... But I agree that we can't repeat what happened last year , it's hard to be with you but not being, you know..."

"Yeah..." She looks down, why is she so upset now?

"Hey, it's going to work! It's going to be good, for you and me..."

"Yeah, I know..." She looks at me again and forces a sideways smile.

"It's all right then?"

"Uhum! Just... Hero, enjoy everything that happens, ok? Don't forget to do what you want! I'll do the same..."

"Okay..."

"There's still a lot to happen with After and everything..."

"Yes! Anything you need, calls me, okay? I'll be here!"

"If you see the message, right!" She smiles and makes me smile too.

"If it's yours I'll see for sure!" We stared at each other.

"Okay... See you." She hangs up. Relief rushes through my chest, but at the same time I feel like something is stuck in my throat.

A new year has started, I'm in London, with my friends, my family, my house, my tomatoes... Every day I get up, talk to the guys, watch a serie, I eat a lot of good things, sometime I exercise, and that's my routine at least during this first month of the year, I wanted to rest my head after the shootings in Bulgaria and all the rest...

London is crazy! We are not used to staying at home, but the situation that Covid left here is hopeless, so until May we have no date for parties... Legalized ones, right?

I wear a mask when I go out and go straight back to the shower. My cell phone keeps coming up with messages from parties, from girls, and from guys making fun of me with the montages that After fans do, but I'm used to it! What's still difficult for me is... Seeing her.

Something has changed... She has changed... Okay, we've changed, I think the distance and this madness of London and Los Angeles contributed to it... The fact is: We're not together and even the daily messages are over...

A month has passed, I am already rested and ready for another one. I'm thinking about buying a house, I've been looking at it for a while, and now I'm ready for that change. I receive job offers daily, my assessor helps me choose the best ones. I go out and play football with the M-Boys, they are my family, I know they would like me to spend more time with them, but they know I need my time too, and I love that about them.

In February I do photo shoots for some brands. Fans go crazy every time something new comes out about me, I like that, I have my privacy but I know they're with me! I always try to spread the word about what I do, or what my friends do, I support them a lot, as well as they support me.


JOSEPHINE


"Write to him!"

"Yeah! Don't let what you guys have die!"

My friends keep saying this, I walk across the room: "Just say hello."

I'm going to prepare something to eat in the kitchen: "Just send to him, 'I miss you Hero'!"

The only thing I do is laugh at them telling Hero and me to go back, but go back to what? We have nothing! In fact, we never had anything official... These things are very confusing for me, and I know for him too... My friends might be right, but after our conversation, I felt a hole in my chest. I think it was good to finish it, whatever it was, and finish it well, happy, it was getting very intense. We've already tried this once and I feel like we need a break from all this craziness. He also needs some time. We know what we want for our careers and a relationship now, distance still isn't the best option!

I'm in Los Angeles sharing a house with several amazing actresses that I had the honor of meeting and being able to call friends. Hadley is the one that I came closest to, she invited me to stay here after we shooted Moxie, she actually does the main one. I talk to my family on the phone almost every day, I miss them a lot, Australia, my friends and my home, but everything has a reason and a time, people who need to adapt to it.

I'm getting many proposals for work, my assessor helps me a lot to decide the best ones and good things will come! I feel it!

I hardly use the social media and when I enter there are always our montages, our memories, I don't stay even five minutes, I can't stand it, I miss him, those moments... But it will pass!

After isn't over yet, we've finished filming the movies but there are still disclosures! I'm anxious! The After 3 and 4 group is still there, and thanks to Chance, we got a new meme every day, some pictures we took at the hotel in Bulgaria, some crazy stuffs from us, I always comment and wait for his answer too, but Hero never interacts in the group... We haven't spoken since the last call, it seems like... We're back to the beginning... Before the kiss inside Uber, before everything...

February, promotions for the movie Moxie, which I participated in, are in full swing! I'm looking forward to it too! I thought a thousand times before posting on my Instagram, I know a lot of people want me to appear online, but I don't feel good posting about my life, I like to keep this privacy, but I loved so much being part of everything, that I made a point of showing it!