Everything you never had: on hold

8

The weekend couldn't come any sooner. Draped in old paint ruined clothes, I sat on my covered floor with Sophia besides me trying to pick a colour for my old room, now hers.

"This one" she pointed at the black. A small giggle leaving her mouth. The colour was supposed to be joke that i needed to force a laugh not to disappoint her.

I turned to the other page finding a light blue that would go well with the bed and wardrobe but as soon as her nose scrunched I knew that was out of the question.

"How about we take some stuff out before we paint" I stood up patting down my shorts. Sophia jumped up with a big roar pretending to be a lion, her new obsession.

"Aaah" I yelled "you shouldn't scare mommy like that" plucking her up from the floor.
"Sorry mommy" she kisses my cheek.

Returning to the floor, she sped off in a run around the room. From where did she get all this energy from? Who knew.

I started off with the storage room. Turning the lights on, a pile of dust swam around the space inviting a cough to leave my mouth. Every item was covered in dust that it was impossibly hard to make out what I should keep or leave.

The shelf was the first thing I started off with plucking out old teddy bears and board games that I no longer found interesting or of any importance placing them in a black bag.

The floor was the most challenging filled with not only my things but my fathers tools and old devices he used to use with my mother. The small sentimental items that I decide to leave in there and let him chose on what to do with them.

Something at the back of the room caught my eyes and I couldn't but help my fingers reach towards it. I pulled out long square box with something written on it that was now smudged, the only thing that I could possibly make out was my address.

Returning back to the floor, Sophia ran towards me plopping her self besides me while I examined the box "what is that?" She said with curiosity in her eye.

"Shall we find out?" I cheerfully beamed at her taking out the tape that held it together. Piece by pierce I teared it apart until I am left with nothing but a back of a canvas. A small quote Scribbled inside.

"To those who look up at the stars for answers"

My heart instantly sank to the pit of my stomach. I knew exactly what this was and even turned it around to make sure I was right and I was.

"Wooooow" my daughter screeched in delight taking the canvas out of my hands and I let her. My hands remained in a gripping position staring at my now empty hands.

I turned to watch Sophia travel her hands all around the painting touching each star and grass stroke "she so pretty" she said mesmerised by the girl sitting in the middle of grass staring at the stars.

"She is isn't she" I pat her head as her tiny finger trail through the lines.

5 years ago*

"Father" Damien looks up at the man approaching our direction. Pure rage oozing out of him with every stern step.

He stops a couple of inches away from us, his arms crossed over his chest. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Who are you?"

His eyes darting to me his features marking an underlying displeasure. "I'm a friend of Damien.. sir" my hands grew tight on his shoulder.

"Get away from my son" he barked and I instantly let go afraid to anger him even more.

"Athena.. don't listen to him" Damiens voice behind me.

I turned to face him, his expression changing from a calm to an antagonising stiffness. He walked besides me grabbing the hand that laid limp on my side.

His fathers stare moved towards our joined hands "so this is the girl you spend your nights with" letting out a dark chuckle " what made you think you could bring your rubbish into my home"

"Don't speak to her like that" Damien ground his teeth but right after those words entered the air, a hand struck his face.

My mouth slack open in terror watching the colour of his cheek turn a different colour.

"And what made you think, you could speak to me like that" his father barked.

Damien only stood there with his jaw tense staring at nothing but the grass in front of him.

"Get out"  but I didn't move, I only gripped Damiens hand tighter. "Are you deaf, I said-"

"You should go" Damien turned slowly releasing his grip away from my hand and moved back inside.

Present day*

"Can we keep it" Sophia held onto the painting hard I couldn't stop the smile that cracked on my lips.

"If that's what you want. We could hang it up your wall. But first we need to pick a colour"

Damiens POV:

Dinner was filled with nothing but eerie silence  and the sound of clattering plates whilst we all sat around the table.

"Impressive decoration Merida" Mrs grey compliment my stepmother drinking the glass wine in front of her.

I rolled my eyes. A droll look planted my features. if it was one thing I hated, it was family dinners. The awkwardness and lack of speech sent an abundance of boredom.

Elizabeth sat besides me, her golden hair beautifully wrapped in an elegant bun, wearing a Chanel dress that hugged her curves well.

We hadn't spoken to each other since she entered the house, every time she wanted to speak I replied with a simple yes, no or a shrug not wanting to start a conversation.

I was only doing this because of my father. The man sat at the head of the table eyeing everyone and when his eyes faced mine I held onto the stare.

What did you say to Athena. I wanted to ask across the room. Nothing good ever came out of his mouth and when it relates to her, the only thing he knows how to spout is undying venom.

When she left the Congress room that day, she hadn't said a single word to me or to Gabriel. She just sat at her desk doing the work she was given and even missed her breaks which was somewhat odd.

I'd been avoiding her all this week, unsure of what I would do if I stroke up a conversation with her, what would her reaction be? so I never bothered busying myself as much as I could.

She was a magnet I couldn't seem to say away from, the pull was always strong especially knowing she would be there when I opened my door. Sat with her back turned to me that some times I would stand watching as she worked that she noticed.

"Well what do you think?" My father interrupted my thoughts. I whipped my head towards him that there was a audible crack.

"Think of what" I plainly said staring lazily at his face.

I could feel his anger around the room that Elizabeth slightly squirmed in her seat "an engagement party for the two of you"

"We haven't even decided if we want to be stuck with each other, what's the rush"

"It's never a rush" Henry said as a matter of fact "me and Merida had met only twice before we decided to tie the knot"

"We'll I'm not you" I bit back too mad to even look at the bastard "besides I just became the CEO, I'll need to get everything sorted out before I carry on to the next step"

His jaw slightly ticked at my disobedience. I wasn't the man I used to be five years ago. The twenty two year old listened to his fathers every command, who let him use him to his own accord.

No.

I've hardened myself up, put up the highest walls that no one could reach and tear them down. From the moment Athena left, I changed. If it was for the better? Who knew.

But all I knew now was that I was no longer the man I used to be, and it'll stay that way.