Everything you never had: on hold

2

5 years ago*

My legs wouldn't stop running. With every beat of my heart they moved faster and faster to an unknowing direction. I wouldn't turn around and look back, no matter how many times they called out my name. Their voices grew distant with each passing lamp post.
They had done this to themselves, always arguing, screaming, throwing objects around until they shattered into small pieces on the floor. Who's fault it was this time that our dinner was splayed all over the floor.
My steps began to slow as I reached near the local park, the lights flashing on and off fighting to stay on.
I prodded towards swings, sand covered my shoes as I sat down blowing out air. I tilted my head at the night blue sky with twinkling stars, greeting the cold summer breeze whilst it swept against my hair.

"You look like shit" someone commented creating a shake on my swing as I looked up straightening my body.

A guy stood facing me. He had a brown paper bag in one hand while his phone occupied the other. His black hair a ruffled mess on top of his head. His eyes bore the same colour as the clouds above me. Small pecks of scratches covered his tanned chiselled jaw.

"I could say the same about you" pointing at the marks on his face. He moved closer taking a seat besides on the second swing. He tilted his head taking a swig from the bottle inside.

"Yeah well that's what happens when you trust a bunch of assholes" mumbling his words he took another drink. "What's wrong with you?"

"My father is refusing to sign the divorce papers" I scrunched my nose remembering his face when my mother walked in with her lawyer at 9pm.
"Damn" was all he said staring at the sand underneath us.
"Yup" I replied popping the 'p' at the end. I turned to face him "mind if I drink?"

His face twisted in uncertainty "aren't you too young to drink" coaxing a brow.

"I'm 18"

"Exactly young" finishing his words with another gulp.

"Aren't you too young to drink as well" I threw his questioned right back at him.

"Nope" he said with the shake in his head "I'm 22 making it legal for me nearly 2 years ago"

"There are countries that allow you to drink at 18 what's the harm in it now" I didn't give him time to reply, taking the bottle out of his hand and gulping it down in one go.

I instantly spat it out revolted by its taste and how it stung at the back of my throat leaving me chocking. He let out a dark chuckle, rattling the swing he was on. "What is that" I coughed.

"Vodka" he clipped.

"Why on earth would you want to drink that" wiping away the spit on my chin.
He tapped his forehead "travels up here much faster shortcake"

"It's still disgusting" I commented under my breath.
"I'm Athena" I reached out my hand for him to take. "Damien" he covered my hand with his.

Present day*

My mind spun around continuously, unable to make it stop. Damien stood in front of me, both his hands wedged inside his suit pants, the look of anger and curiosity shadowing his features.

"Why don't you take a seat, you look like you've seen a ghost" he instructed pointing at the armchair that sat in front of his desk.
I looked at him then at the desk with hesitation. "Don't worry it won't bite" he teased.

Releasing an exasperating sigh, I forced myself to move towards the armchair. When I sat down, Damien moved towards his chair. "Now what are you doing"

"I'm here for a job"

"Is that so?" he leaned into his chair "why?"

"Why do I want a job?" I gave him a puzzled look. I mean why else do people want a job.  It's common sense.
"No" he clipped "why did you come back?" His voice grew angry.

" I didn't know I wasn't allowed to come back" I resorted feeling my own anger rise. "I'm here because I am, I don't need to explain myself"

"You left five years ago with nothing but a piece of paper left on a swing, surely I deserve more than that" entwining his fingers together. "After what we had"

I couldn't tell him the real answer I came back, not yet anyways, when the time was right and I felt it was time I would tell him, but not now " I missed my father and he missed me, that's why I came back".

"Liar"

"Believe it or not that is the truth, now if you're not going to give me the job, I would like to leave" I rose my head and stood up, showing him I wasn't afraid, but deep down i was scared shitless. when i came back to the city I didn't expect meeting him here or anywhere for that matter.
he was apart of my past, one that I wanted to leave behind and forget.
"Sit down Athena" Damiens words filled with dominance.
I remained my ground standing up looking deep into his penetrating gaze. He let out an audible sigh and stood up making his way towards me.

"You can have the job" he threw those words carelessly as he strode towards me until he stopped mere inches away.

"But know this, I'll find the reason you left and when I do I'll make you regret leaving that envelope on the swing that night"

"Don't think about running away this time"

I nodded turning towards the direction of the door "I've already let you go, maybe you should too"

****
Arriving at my fathers home 30minutes later, I stopped at the supermarket picking up a bag of strawberries knowing she would had eaten all of them in the fridge.

"I'm home" I yelled informing them I was home.

I took off my heels rubbing the soles from walking too much, throwing them near the door. the sound of small feet ran on the wooden fall heading my way. "Mama!" Sophia screamed in delight.

Her body crashed into mine knocking on the floor "hello strawberry" I laughed as she squeezed me tighter.

Sophia released me for a moment scanning my face whilst I scanned hers. Her grey eyes shone so bright with joy whilst her dark brown hair lay on her head messy and tangled. A pang in my chest hit hard seeing how much she looked like her father.

My father walked inside from the garden with a flower pot in his hand, dirt smothered all around his face.

I looked down at my daughters hand to find grime and dirt stuck to them and now my white shirt.

"If I ever need a gardening partner, I know who to ask" he laughed placing the pot down on the kitchen counter.

"Hello papa" I smiled standing up, brushing as much dirt as possible.

"Hello baby" he hugged me, patting my daughters head. "Welcome home"