Helium | Harry J. Potter

23

ALURA's POV

The air is thick with tension around us. I don't know whether Harry is angry with me for not telling him, or what. He's just staring at his lap, lost in thought.

My thoughts wander to Theo and how he could die at any minute. I desperately want to tell Theo that I understand why he lied, but I can't because I don't want to leave Harry either.

"Harry?" I finally decided it was time to get his input.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Are you okay?"

"I feel sick, honestly," he admitted. "But I'll be fine."

"Would you be mad if I went to tell Theo I forgive him?" I asked randomly.

Harry probably thinks I'm insane for forgiving him this early, but I'll kick myself if I don't before he dies.

"Of course not. Do I like the guy? No. But he is your best friend. You should go - I'll wait here, and I won't go through your stuff," he promised, chuckling.

I got so excited, I quite literally pecked him on the lips, and then regretting it as soon as I did. I just kissed him - what do I do now? Harry is just staring at me, just like I am him.

"Sorry," I whispered. I then scrambled out of the room, not wanting to see Harry's face.

HARRY's POV

She just kissed me. Alura just kissed me. I don't know if I'm flattered, mad, happy, or what.

I need to get my feelings under control. I can't be more than friends with her. Not only do I not want to ruin our "friendship", but I also don't think I'm good enough for her. She also just got out of a relationship. I can't take advantage of that.

Then my mind goes to Ginny. She's partially the reason why Alura and I stopped talking. Ginny didn't do anything in particular, I was just so mad at Alura for hesitating in the Chamber of Secrets.

I don't know if I still have feelings for Ginny. I haven't spoken to her in a while. She's always hanging out with Luna or Cho. It's actually kind of hard to speak to her without them being around.

I'm deciding that it's all my hormones. What else could it be? There is no way that I have feelings for Alura. Sure she's pretty - no, beautiful, funny, kind - occasionally - good kisser... Now I'm just convincing myself that I'm in love with her - wait. Did I just say love?

-

The first thing I do when I get back to my dorm is write to Sirius. I haven't really paid attention to how it looks as if I never lit the place on fire. Hell, I feel like doing it again.

Seamus and Dean have taken over the responsibility of discovering who started the fire. They might as well hang that up.

I've been blankly staring at the parchment spread across my desk. I don't know how to tell him I won't be home for break. I can't exactly say "Alura's best friend turned out to be a traitor, and her other best friend lied to her for nearly three years - oh, and of course, Blaise who is the only clueless one is with his mum on break, so he's not here to get this situation under control."

And that's only the short version of it. I finally decided to not tell him I won't be home. I'll just tell him about my recent discovery... I think.

Sirius,

I've found myself wanting to be closer to Alura... That isn't good, is it? I need you to talk me out of it and convince me I'm going mad.

Harry

I ended up ripping the parchment to shreds. The letter sounds more awkward than me.

I hear a knock on the door and I just assume someone else stayed for break, though everyone's bed is made. And why would they knock on the door to their own dorm?

"Come in!"

The door opens and shows Alura. She shut the door behind her and sat down on Dean's bed.

"I didn't know you left," she said as if she hadn't just kissed me hours ago.

"Yeah, I just had to do something," I made up. Never mind, I am way more awkward than that letter.

Alura doesn't believe me, I can tell. "Are you upset about what happened earlier?"

Not upset, just confused. "I'm confused, Alura."

"About?"

"Us. I'm confused because one minute you don't want anything to do with me, and then the next you're kissing me. I don't get it," I finally admitted.

"Okay, I wouldn't call that a kiss," Alura interrupted as if that was my point. "It was more of an... in the moment thing."

Is she fucking serious? I don't know who I'm more mad at, her or myself for thinking she'd actually say anything different.

"Are you kidding me?" I scoffed. "You were fucking kissing me like a maniac at the party, and not to mention how we've been interacting recently..."

"Yeah, at the party I was drugged at and you were drunk!" she retorted.

She's right. But I have a point, and I'm standing my ground.

"Can you just give me a break! I just found out that my best friend will be dying, and I was a mission to the other!"

"I have given you a break! The whole damn summer and first semester! What more do you want?"

She stepped toward me and scoffed. "I don't know why we're wasting our time. We know how this ends."

I hate her so much but I love her even more. We're so damn difficult it hurts.

"You're right, we do know how this ends," I agreed, standing up to face her. "We know that we'll get in a huge argument like this one, and-"

She interrupted me by taking my face into her hands and kissing me. Her lips feel warm and soft on mine. Of course, I kissed back. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to.

My hands moved to her waist, and we finally pulled away to get air.

There's no denying that we can't be with each other. Whatever's going between us needs to stop. We're terrible for each other, truly. I'm terrible for her.

-
Why did I just learn that Theo is killed off in every ff??

Welp ig it's true