Bluebirds Without Wings | Julie and the Phantoms

77.7

Luke did not sleep at all as Julie laid still in his arms. She was not a crazy sleeper, but he was. He was scared he would accidentally kick her or end up rolling out of the small bed fit for him when he was much younger. Either way, he was not going to be able to fall sleep. He didn't bother.

He reached over on his dresser as slowly as he could, finding his old alarm radio on there. The clock was still working, and he hoped that the rebel radio station was still going. He struggled to get a grip on it to bring it close to him, and he managed to do it without dropping it on the floor or waking Julie. All she did was snuggle closer to his chest and make his heart speed up. How was she always so perfect?

He put the radio on him next to Julie and turned the volume down before scanning the stations. He put the 77.7 number on the PM station, and it was still in service. They were playing unconventional and experimental music that would prevent people who weren't knowledgeable of the rebel plans to skip it over. The unconventional music played as Luke watched Julie breathe in her sleep. She sometimes mumbled an incomprehensible word out loud, and he chuckled under his breath.

Did they both confirm they were going to make a relationship work or was it only because she was on the verge of falling asleep? Luke put the radio on the floor next to his bed for easier access if need. He wanted to hold Julie a little closer, kissing the top of her curly hair. He had so much affection for her and yet, the reminder that he did betray her. That he failed her and lied to her and all of their friends, was there. Anytime he exhaled, there was a spasm of shame in his chest that ripped through like lightning. He had no idea how he was going to live with it for the rest of his life. Live with it if him and Julie continued what they had.

Because at the end of the day, he knew Julie. He had seen enough of her to know she hadn't fully forgiven him yet, and she was going against all odds to keep him closer.

Luke was tired of crying. Tired of existing. Tired, tired, tired. But he could not shut his eyes. Maybe because the last time he did, they took Julie away from him and he couldn't defend her. Maybe all the realization that he could soon have his life back mixed with being unable to do his actions was poisoning him.

"Frogs," Julie muttered under breath. Luke down to see her, and she was still sound asleep. That was the first word he understood. "Just eat the frog, Luke." Luke let out a loud laugh that made Julie shift in her sleep and scratch her face, Luke freezing up as she did. She continued sleeping on him, and he smiled. He played with her hair, watching her smile in her sleep. He wanted to remember her like that forever.

The sun still hadn't risen completely when Julie suddenly sat up. She looked at Luke and blinked a couple of times, leading against the headboard. She started staring out at nothing as one did on school mornings.

"Hello?" Luke asked, snapping his fingers to get her attention. She turned back to look at him, expressionless. She didn't say anything and laid down next to him again, grabbing his arm to wrap it around her. Luke smiled and took the hint, holding her closer as she put her head back on his chest. "You sleep talk," Luke told her.

"I do not," Julie muttered. Her voice was scratchy from being asleep. It was cute. He had heard it at the safe house but hearing it so close made everything so much softer like a blush.

"You were telling me to eat frogs."

"You wouldn't?"

"No."

"I would," she said plainly.

"You wouldn't."

"You can't prove it." Julie's hand started tracing over the faded lettering of the hoodie. He regretted grabbing the first one he saw after he saw himself in the mirror. He was too tired to change it. "I like this hoodie."