Mockingjay. Life Goes On

Dandelion

I woke up feeling a little bit fuzzy. I try to open my eyes slowly. I saw Haymitch still sleeping soundly in his armchair. I let him sleep i did not dare to wake him up after what happened last night. I decided to go upstairs and took my warm shower. It felt very warm and makes me more relax. I took my sweatshirt and a short then wear them. I braided my hair, i realised that its been awhile i did not braid my hair. I knew why because it remind me of her. I can't even saying her name. Tears start to form in my eyes. I quickly change my thought and straight went downstairs. As i walked into the kitchen i saw Haymitch sitting with a cup of coffee in his hand. When i saw him my thought automatically went back to what he said last night. The last couple of words before i drifted off to sleep which sound a little blur that makes me wanted to asked him about it. I think it will be weird but before i can make my decision i already sit beside Haymitch. "Good morning sweetheart" He said after a long awkward silence. "Good morning Harymitch" my voice sound a little shaky. Haymitch seem to notice it and asked me if I'm okay. I give him a weak smile and decided to ask him about last night. "Haymitch can i asked you something" i said while my eyes focus on the floor. "Shoot" i hear Haymitch said. Then i took a deep breath and nod my head showing myself that I'm ready. "Haymitch about last night, you said that it had been your responsibility to take care of me and then you said something else but i can't hear it clearly. You talk about a promise am i right? Can you please make it straight Haymitch because i really wanted to know". Haymitch just sit they without any expressions on his face. "Haymitch please" I'm begging him. Then Haymitch clear his throat and start to explain about what bothering me so much this morning. "About the promise, when we were still in District 13, i came to meet Peeta in his hospital room. I wanted to say that i am sorry because i left him in the arena. At first i thought he will be mad but then he started to cry. I sit beside him, then i heard he said that this is all his fault. If he just died in the 74th hunger games nothing of this will happen." I felt tears rolling down my face. Why did he blame himself it is not his fault instead it is my fault, it is my idea to take the nightlock. Then Haymitch continues "he said that he missed you so much and he wanted to see you while we were still in District 13 but i also scared that he will hurts you. He told me that he will always loves you and nobody and nothing can changes that. Then he made me promised that i need to take care of you for him. He told me to make sure you can survive and have a happy life. You have been in so much in your life. He begging me to take care of you because he can't do it. Then i promised to him that i will take care of you if he promised to try his best to get back to normal. Then we agreed and i gave him a hug to calm him down but he shouted at me and asked me to leave because he is having a flashback. When i am ready to head out of the room he said that he will try his best for you Katniss." I can't take it anymore. He is trying to get well for me but i am here trying to kill myself without thinking about him. I felt so bad. How i can be so selfish. Haymitch come and sit beside me and give me a hug to calm me down. He said that it will be okay. Peeta can make it. He will be okay. I can't stop thinking about him. "Haymitch i missed him so much."i said crying in his embraced. "I know, i know sweetheart. We all missed him. He will come back. I promised you that.