Love Potion

The Most Marvellous Ball

Music immediately boomed over the hall. As the fog cleared, the band could be seen: a group of boys in tatty dresses, like emo fairies, rocking on a two-necked guitar, a flute with a million holes, a knotted saxophone and a tower of drums. Indeed, on the face of a drum, their logo 'Punk Pixies' was emblazoned. Despite their spine-and-skulls getups, and ragtag demeanour, they truly played classical music. At least, a bouncy, jubilant sort of sound, that made one want to barn dance.

And people were immediately dancing. I felt a tug, and Kenzie was suddenly dancing too, and he beckoned me into the crowd. His face was so jubilant, topped with buzz, that I couldn't have mentioned anything about Tatiana's dress. Instead, I shrugged and laughed, and went to caper with him. I spied Ermis Bella as we danced: I'm ashamed to say, I had completely forgotten about him, and the main character of that book series I used to love had become 'just other student in my class'! Still, I was glad to see him dancing with a very done-up Raphina Connors, who was in a long, purple dress with gold baubly decorations, kind of Greek-seeming. Ermis was in white robes himself, with some golden plating and an olive wreath. They seemed to be having a rollicking time. Myself, it the best I could do to turn my back whenever that wicked streak of red flashed before me that was Tatiana. I wasn't bad with dancing, though... I lacked in skill and confidence, but not with the thrill of it.

Kenzie and I had danced for a good half hour, springing from jumps to turns to waltzes, though with little talking, when I excused myself to go talk with my friends. I was trying not to feel bummed off about the evening, what with Tatiana's appearance, and Killian and Tamsin's expert dancing coming past us every few minutes. I certainly needed a recharge. When the song changed to a punk-rock head-banger, I decided a break was due, and I excused myself. Kenzie kissed my hand and said to save my energy for another dance. Then I took a wooden goblet of the swamp drink and snuck a bowl of crisps before going to my friends. I had sworn not to let myself bloat in my dress, but bloating was later, and the crisps were now.

My friends sat around one of the Alice-in-Wonderland type tables. Gray was among them. I had almost forgotten about our embarrassing instance. When he noticed my coming, his hair flashed green and he stood to leave. Our eyes briefly met - I tried a smile. He smiled stiffly back and turned. I hadn't noticed his suit before. He looked quite handsome: in a pale blue suit with... lotus flowers. I felt suddenly awful - had he bought that suit for me?

I didn't want to think about it.  The rest of my friends cooed at me as I came.

"Oh, Cosmo!" yoned Persephone. "I can't get over how wonderful you look."

I smiled graciously. "Thank you," I said. It's hard to respond to compliments - especially those most extravagant of Persephone. They are, however, almost welcome. "You look incredible, too."

"Oh, I don't," she batted, "but thank you."

It didn't go unnoticed that Gilbert then whispered in her ear, "you do." Persephone went red as if she'd swallowed a torch. Me, Mollis and Pip only grinned at each other and ate crisps. Then, half to regain the conversation, Mollis sprouted, "Hey, Cosmo. Gray really liked you, you know."

Damn! Was she trying to make me feel even worse? "I feel rubbish," I said truthfully. "I never once imagined it. I don't want him to avoid me forever. Do you think we can go back to normal?"

"I'm sure he'd still like to be friends," Persephone said.

I swallowed. "Did you guys know he liked me?"

They became suddenly fidgety. "Only for a couple days," said Morgaine.

I sighed. There was a pause of silence.

"How is Kenzie treating you, anyway?" Pip said.

"Oh! Oh, he's wonderful," I replied. I took a sudden drink from my goblet. "Wonderful."

I knew they were sharing looks.

"Gal, I'm going now." I stood up.

"Wait wait wait, wait for me! It's a barn song. You'll dance with me and Gilbert, right?"

Persephone peered at me pleadingly. I rolled my eyes in a grudging yes.

Indeed, the band was playing a rousing sort of tune, and several circles of students were already dancing in a jolly, fluctuating berth. Persephone and Gilbert dragged me to form a circle, and I hailed Kenzie to join us; he did, though 'long with his company... they consisted of Tatiana, Muskett, Tamsin, and... Killian.

I swallowed. I ended up holding hands with Gilbert and Kenzie, then he with Tamsin, then Killian, then Tatiana, then Muskett, then Persephone. Such was so I locked tremulous eyes with Killian anytime I glanced upwards; such was impossible I would enjoy this dance. Kenzie squeezed my hand in a sorry sort of question, and I only smiled assuringly to those discomforted eyes.

And then there was the dance. It was a simple thing, one we'd all learnt prior to the ball. I had practised it merrily before, but now, I just felt heaving discomfort and the unquenchable urgency to leave. Whatever way, we went round in a circle, ten steps, then bow, then round the other way, ten steps, then bow, then let go and click your feet, then twirl by the shoulder with your partner, then step to the right, clap twice, step to the left, clap twice, then twirl again, then swap with your partner, and repeat... the twirling was the worst bit, when you had to get so close that you could count the colours of your partner's eye - and every time you swapped, next time, you got a new partner. It was inevitable you'd dance with every man of the circle.

I danced with Gilbert first, which was fine. He smiled, was polite, and concealed his wince when I trod horribly on his toe. Muskett was rather brash, and stared at me heavily when he twirled, which was rather unnerving - and, so tall, he made my armpits ache. Thankfully I stepped on no toes with him.

And then came Killian, then came the King of Ice. Of course, he danced like a nobleman, like he did it in his sleep, like he'd learnt from when he came out of the bleeding womb. Gal, I could only not make eye contact with him, and wait in agony to swap partners. So, I did not look at him, but heard him sneer obviously every time I fumbled a step or caught his trouser leg, as he danced like a bloody coryphée. It was undiluted torment - I was sure my face was so hot my makeup would just melt right off it. His own hand (which I was so conscious of) was actually cold as his character. I felt his fingers thin and delicate as his steps. Hands: so unnecessarily intimate! Mine must have been so gross, so sweaty and chumpy. And then, as we lifted our held hands to spin, I did the worst; I (good idiot!) caught eyes with him, in that stifling closeness of face! And oh, how he stared, how hard were those icechip irises, how low were those brows that they hooded and darkened his eyes... it was only a fraction of time, but in that cracked second, a silent conversation took place, and had I looked for a nanosecond more, my heart could have stopped, and I could have folded, finally, anguished, into his arms.

I was both glad and stricken to fall next into Kenzie's hand. I danced dumbly, with no romantic touch or glance, and rather unsorry for it. I stole every glance I could to Killian - what I saw, was that his eyes were doldrum as day with every of his dancers. Even as Tatiana draped herself over him like some sexy curtain (which I noticed she did with every partner, much unother than Kenzie), his face returned to stone, though looking mildly annoyed. My brain couldn't make of it, but my heart sure-fetchingly beat: it was unendurable, beating, battering my ribcage, pounding in my ears. As we switched partners, I didn't even focus on the fact that Tatiana was indeed so swathed around Kenzie, and purring into his ear, that I had to double-check myself before the pang of anger hit. But it did hit indeed. Watching the girl, in little red dress matched to my partners, gloating before me, letting him ogle her, knowing what she's doing... I could hit her! I was suddenly so bottled in anger I must have stepped on Gilbert's feet about five times.

And then the song ceased, and the hall was momentarily in silence, apart from the cloak of babblement from students. It was like we'd teleported. Switched so quickly from the jolly, jumping movement and music, to this wash of silence and stillness. Like we'd stepped out of water. Like we'd become sober. There was silence from all of us. I swallowed, not really knowing what to do, but somehow knowing I didn't want to talk to Kenzie, or Gilbert or Persephone for that matter. I busied myself by going to the drinks fountain.

I didn't realise that someone had followed me until he spoke.