Love Potion

The Crime and the Calamity

It was too much.

I needed time. And maybe a hole to jump into.

God. Every time I thought about it, I believed it less and less. Killian Viper had kissed me. He had kissed me like a desperate, ardently loving man. After all this time. After all this agony.

I was in awful love with Killian. But I didn't want to be. I knew it was bad, I knew I had to ignore it. And I had felt peace in the fact that Killian didn't feel the same.

But then he kissed me. And I don't know what to think. What to feel. Wouldn't someone tell me?

I've sprinted through the sloshy grass of the fields, and I wonder if Killian is calling after me, following me. I don't look behind me. I choke against my tears. I don't want to talk to him. I can't and I won't. So I keep running.

I crash into the first door I see leading into school, and my wet feet slap against the stone, echoing around the whole corridor. And I keep running in the hugging silence, so I hear every slap and every sniff and choke of myself, and these walls whisper back to me. I feel so heavy, I can hardly bear to keep going. Emotion is a stone in my throat that I can't hack up or swallow. My stomach has coiled as if curling in a shell. I cough and splutter in this chasm of silence. Where is everybody? Am I all alone here? Has everyone died?

I keep going at a stumbling amble. This corridor had windows, but as I went on, they shrank and shrank, until now there's no windows left and I'm alone in the darkness. I slump against the wall and put my head in my hands and just cry. I don't want to think, but I have to cry, and so I cry. The echowalls whimper as I do. It really sounds miserable.

I've cried too much for one evening and a morning. I might run out of tears if I'm not too careful.

I put my head back and gasp and close my eyes. My tears had run out.

And then, footsteps. 

I whip my head round. I instinctively put my knees up against my chest - the fighting uniform is only loose cotton and I suddenly feel overwhelmingly vulnerable. Who was coming? Would they see me in the darkness?

But suddenly there's a crackle and a blue light fills the corridor.

"My dear, are you alright?"

And to none of my expectations, it is Majestio who has approached me. A blue flame flickers on the superhero's finger and he smiles down at me with that astonishing white smile I used to find fantastic. Up this close, the man is so unnaturally tall, I feel like a rat under his foot. I feel smaller than ever. He looks like a phantom in the gloom, and the shadows expose the pocks and wrinkles in his ever-so-strangely youthful face. His hair looks more old and grey than silver. He wears what seems like pyjamas, a violently red velvet match, and there are many unbuttons done on his shirt so I can see the curves of his chest. 

Good God, of all the things to happen next, I hadn't precedented this. I stand up, and viciously scrub my eyes, and shiveringly bow to him. I feel so uncomfortable. I could hardly believe I'd ran into him, so up close, so pressed in the darkness. It was strange, every girl in this whole school wouldn't dream of this, and yet I wanted nothing less. I looked rotten in his presence and all I wanted was to leave. I hadn't expected this. I didn't want this.

"Yes, I'm alright," I tell him. My voice is a weasel of a sound, strangled by tears and too high-pitched.

"You don't sound alright," he chuckles. His voice is much deeper than any normal man's, that if he shouted, you'd feel it in your chest. And then, he puts his hand on my shoulder.

I shiver beneath it. I'm sure he just wanted to be friendly, but I didn't want him to touch me. "Really, I'm fine," I say. "Sorry for getting in your way. I have to go now."