Lost.
That's what I'm feeling right now.
I scrolled my phone for the nth time and found a bunch of hate comments tagging my name.
- Slut! Korea's sweetheart? Now a slut!
- Playgirl of the year!
- Changing boys the way she changes her outfit!
- Retokada.
- Hindi naman maganda, maharot lang.
Damn! I slammed my phone on the table and quickly took the glass of martini and drank it in one go, then I felt a single tear escaping from my eye..
"Shit! You're strong Bae! Wag kang magpadala sa kanila. Hindi ka nila kilala!" I scold myself then I quickly wiped the tear with the back of my hand.
I guess acting got the best of me. Pwedeng pwede kong papaniwalain ang lahat na ayos lang ako. I can be the sweetest dream girl or the bitch mistress that can ruin a perfect family. I can be everything the camera wants me to be. I can be anyone except myself.
I can't be weak. I can't cry, shout, scream and defend myself. I can't curse the eyes that are analyzing and inspecting every inch of my life. "Fuck them!"
I gave them my all, but those hypocrite made me forget my soul. Hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko.
Men? Knight in shitting armour?
Creatures that think highly of themselves. Selfish. Liar.
They took advantage of my vulnerability. They come up to me and offer me love but in the end they'll just leave me hanging taking all the blame.
Why?? Because I'm a girl? The girl who can save and redeem herself in no time? The girl who doesn't need protection?
That's the girl behind the camera!
Paano naman yung totoong ako? The weak and clumsy me? The girl who is even afraid of the dark? Who will save me?
Do I have to beg heaven just to give me someone who'll protect me with their arms around me and carry me out of the crowd?
Hindi naman ako namimili. Kahit sino na lang. Kahit sino na kaya akong sagipin. Kahit sino..
Just like the devil in the suit who rescued the fallen angel trapped in someone's obsession.
Can I have that devil instead?
I took a deep breath to clear my mind. Natatawa na lang ako sa sarili ko. Napakadesperada ko na ata para mang-agaw. Nakakainggit lang.
Sinubukan kong tumayo. Pero nilukob na ata nang espiritu ng alak ang buong katawan ko. Nawalan na ako ng panimbang.
"Hey miss. Ayos ka lang?"
Dalawang braso ang sumalo sa akin. I look up and saw tall dark figure. Hindi ko makita ang mukha nya pero alam kong nakatitig sya saakin.
Heaven sent?
"Miss?? Ibabalik ko lang sana itong suit na pinahiram mo sa akin." yumuko sya at inaalalayan nya akong makatayo.
YOU ARE READING
JenLisa : Escaping Us
FanfictionWhen fame is given will love has chance? When everything around you is perfect but it makes you numb, will you still choose the "right" thing that most people ask you to or rather Escape the "you" they know so you can live on your own.
