Queen/BoRhap Imagines

(Smut) This Is Queen- A Spinal Tap Special

hey!!! So before we start, I'd like to explain what this chapter is. first of all: It's going to be HELLA FUNNY. Second: It's going to be based on the movie "This Is Spinal Tap" which is basically a movie that mocks rock bands in the eighties. If you haven't seen the movie, its highly recommended. And if you have, you know that this chapter is going to be absolutely hilarious. Enjoy!!

DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THE THINGS STATED IN HERE ARE NECESSARILY TRUE TO QUEEN.

"Let's talk about a little bit of the history of the group. Now, Brian, you and Roger originally started a band back in, oh, 1968?" The interviewer asks, he was doing a rockumentary with the boys...whatever that was. "Well, before that," Brian starts "We were in different bands. I was in one called the Creatures-" he's cut off by Roger, "I was in Lovely Lads." 

"Yep, and uh we looked at each other and said 'we might as well, join up,' you know. And so we became The Originals. And uh, we had to change our name, actually. There was another group in the East End called The Originals. And we had to rename ourselves. The New Originals. And they became the regulars. They changed their name back to The Regulars. And we thought, well, we could go back to the Originals but what's the point. We became the Thamesmen at that point."

The interviewer nodded his head, clearly feeling awkward about the whole situation. He moves onto asking about old members of the band. "And uh, your first drummer was—" 

"John Stumpy Peeps." Brian cuts in. "Great, great tall blonde geek with glasses. Uh, great look, good drummer..." Roger adds before being cut off. 

"What happened to him?" 

"He died. He died in a bizarre gardening accident some years back. It was really one of those things that—" The boys kept talking over each other. Roger cuts in saying "It was, you know, the authorities said, you know, 'best leave it unsolved', really. You know." 

"And he was replaced by...?"

"Stumpy Joe. Eric Stumpy Joe Childs." Brian states, matter of factly so.

"And what happened to him?" 

"Well uh, its not a very pleasant story uhm. But, he died, uhm, he choked on the—the act- the official explanation was he choked on vomit— and passed away." John intervenes. That was the first thing he said the whole time. 

"It was actually...someone else's vomit...It's not— you know, there's no real—" Roger tries to speak but is interrupted, again, but John. "they can't prove who's vomit it was. They never—they don't have the facilities—-there's no way of.." 

They all begin to speak over each other once more. 

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Opening night party, New York City

You and the rest of the band opened the door to a very crowded room of people. "How are you?"  The woman asks, hugging Freddie. "Freddie! Hi fellas!" She addresses the rest of the band. The woman's name was Bobby Flekman. Her voice was really nasally and high pitched. "Here uhm, I want you guys to meet Dennis, the owner of Polymer Records. You.." She turns to Roger. "You don't talk so much, just smile and look smart. Dennis, Come here!" She yells at a fairly older man. "I want you to meet Queen, our guests of honor." 

He approaches us, wearing a suit and bow tie with champagne in hand. "Guys, this is Sir Dennis Eton-Hogg. He's the owner of Polymer Records and will be helping us distrubute your new album!" She introduces. 

"We here at Polymer, are looking for a long, and fruitful relationship with Queen. We wish them great success on their North American Tour." 

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