Queen/BoRhap Imagines

freddie<3

hey...so today i did something i'm not so proud of.
so now, i'm writing this because 1.) this is what i need to hear 2.) because i haven't updated in a while.

TW; S/H

if you or anyone you know is going through something please check in with them, they might need it.

I opened up my crafting box, ready to relax and dive into a new project. i was going to paint a nightstand.
i pulled out pieces of cardboard to use as stencils, and an exacto-knife.

i removed the cap quickly, only to accidentally cut my wrist. i noticed as the blood seeped through the small cut, almost becoming satisfied. i stared for what felt like hours, pondering. i cut again.

only this time, it was deeper, and i really felt it. only i didn't, everything was numb. i'd always told myself i'd never do anything like this, i thought it would be easy to avoid. maybe not so much...

after about five cuts i stopped. i put all my supplies away. i'll do it tomorrow... i thought. i went to my room, closed the door, and threw on an album. The Dark Side Of The Moon, to be exact.

i wrapped my weighted blanked around me and took a few deep breaths, tears haunting my eyes. only before i heard three little knocks at my bedroom door. "Darling, may i come in?" his voice echoes. "yes, it's open." i respond, preparing a smile.

"what are you up to? did you start that—oh what was it..." He snapped his fingers. "Nightstand painting! Yes, did you start that?" I looked down. "No, J decided against that. I'm gonna do it tomorrow, i think."

"How come?"

"I just didn't have any inspiration, i guess."

He frowned. He always loved my paintings, he even hung some of them up in our shared home. Him and i have been inseparable, ever since we met in college.

After a few passing moments of silence, he perked up. "Are you sure everything is alright?" He searched for my eye contact. I nodded, looking into his beautiful eyes. "I'm not too convinced, but if you say so." I giggled, "I promise, really, i'm fine!"

He looked at me, slightly smirking. "Just fine?"

"Well, i mean-"

"would you feel better if Brian and Roger and Deaky came over?"

I smiled widely. "ILL GRAB THE SNACKS!!" I busted out of the room, well, i tried to. Freddie grabbed me before i could get to the kitchen.

"Hold your horses! My god, woman." He brushed hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. "I forgot to add, Brian is coming over in about fifteen minutes. so he'll be here either way, but he said he wants to talk to you." My heart—silently—dropped. "Oh okay, what about?" He shrugged. 

***

DIIIIIINDOOOOOOOOOOOOON
(we all know that freddie payed extra for the doorbell)

"I'll get it!" I yelled to freddie, who was in the kitchen making some tea. I opened the front door, revealing a tall, sexy ass man that i've been in love with for 3 years two months and 5 days. I reached up as he bent down to give me a hug. "Come innnnn! So, freddie said you wanted to talk to me?" I said as casually as possible. "Yeah, i was wondering..we'll, er- could we go someplace private? Maybe...?" He stuttered.

"Of course, yeah follow me."

I lead him to a guest bedroom, equipped with two chairs in the corner for us to sit at. I sat down, gesturing for him to as well. "So, what's up." I said, as he twiddled his thumbs. "Well, i wanted to throw a surprise party for freddie's birthday, right? and i—wait a minute. What's that..."

His eyes filled with terror, i was completely unaware of what he was referring to until i traced his eye contact. I quickly hid my hand behind the arm of the chair, but it was too late. "Y/N....how could you do this to yourself...no..." he started to cry. i sat there, ashamed. and worried. and so alone.

"i'm sorry." i said, breaking down. "hey..come here. shhhh....don't be embarrassed don't be any of that. it's okay. i'm here for you. we're all here for you."  He pulled me into a hug, running his hands through my hair with one hand and rubbing my back with the other.

"does freddie know you...?" he whispered. "no, i don't want him to. i cant hurt him like that." i felt him nod.

"i'm here for you."