↚The Pig's Shadow | Dream x Reader | Slowburn ↛

Chapter 23: Rotten Coconuts, Attempted Murder, and Lessons From an Assassin

HOLY HECK, the chapter 'Set the Stage' GOT 50+ VIEWS WHAT THE H O N K  THAT'S CRAZY FJEIWODEWDEPOFE

In the days following the snow, a whole lot of very exciting nothing happened. POG2020 and SWAG2020 spent their days trying to out-pander themselves to the L'manburg citizens. Schlatt was gone (probably trying to find alcohol), Dream rarely visited L'manburg, Sapnap was being swayed in his choice of political party, and George was either sleeping or gathering more shrooms.

Some minor acts of vandalism had been committed, mostly by Big Q. The large floating cobblestone POG2020 has been rewritten as A**2020 and quite a few houses had mysteriously been appearing on Tommy's front porch. Literally.

Just as you had finished the stage, Tubbo made an executive decision without anyone else's input to move the stage from the bottom of the hill to the top of it.

You threw your hammer at his head.

All acts of attempted murder aside, the stage was taken apart and painstakingly moved and rebuilt at the top of the hill. On the plus side, this meant a lot more decorative elements were added. Unfortunately, it was a PAIN to climb up to said stage.

Wilbur, Tommy, and Big Q also decided to make a very ugly 'white house', which actually had around three feet of white concrete and the rest was all wood and stone.

Finally, it was September 20th and the stage was built, the white house constructed, and the night for final speeches, endorsements, and debate was here. Everyone was gathered at the stage you'd built, even Dream. George, surprisingly, was running late. More than once, you caught Quackity nervously pacing by his seat. Eventually, the parties gave up waiting for him and went on with the speeches.

You didn't pay attention much. From what you could tell, it was a lot of political bickering and relatively the same gist as Debate Night. Surprisingly, however, after POG2020 and SWAG2020 gave their final speeches, Fundy and Niki stormed the stage.

Fundy, stepping up to the mic, cleared his throat.

"My fellow citizens, I stand here today, humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, and mindful of the sacrifices born by our ancestors. I thank Wilbur for his service to our nation as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown through my raising. Now I mind to keep my words short and powerful, and thus I say: I am not powerful, and I might not have wealth, but I do have a dream. While Quackity has righteous ideas, and Wilbur the leadership, I, together with Niki, have a bakery and a worldwide shipping right."

You groaned. "Oh my gosh, please no."

"I can deliver," he continued, "as many cookies and ice cream you desire once you've voted for COCONUT2020. God bless L'manburg."

By now Wilbur was fuming. You contemplated whether he'd become half-tea kettle. But, to be fair, you were now completely unnerved by the amount of side-switching there'd been that night. Sapnap had gone from POG to SWAG in about four seconds, Niki and Fundy were striking out on their own, around three attempted murders had happened, and Schlatt hadn't even announced his campaign.

There was a large chance you were about to die today.

"Hold- hold your applause," Wilbur burst out. "The voting ballot, the voting ballot was shut on the 9th of September. We- we shut the voting ballot on the 9th, so it's locked to..."

"Are you not strong enough to combat me?" Fundy questioned him, staring his father in the eyes.

Wilbur sighed. "Look, I'm just tellin' you man, it's just- this is NOT how this works. You can't just-"