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Chapter 24: We Crash Elections With Guns

What's this? An actual chapter? NOOOOOOOO

COULD IT BE?

Yeah.

It is.

I got 4 hours of sleep last night and the last thing I wanted to do what type out a ton of dialogue :/

But yes, it's done, take it and let me sleep.

Big Q took the stage, apparently hosting a 'rally'. Stupidly idiotic waste of time if they asked you. People would vote for who they would vote for, and the only things that could change that were endorsements and large-scale voter fraud. And, of course, being reasonably sane human beings, the latter of the two would not happen.

"Fellas." Quackity said, the mic screeching erratically. He winced, moved back a few inches, cleared his throat, and tried again. "I just want to make it clear to everyone in this stage that I am a politician that cares for the people. And I'm proud to announce that my one endorsement... My one endorsement is KSI, he just hasn't happened to have responded yet to my- to my endorsement plead. Um, but he's my one endorsement."

You had no idea who the heaven was KSI, but apparently, the others thought that this was wildly hilarious and burst out laughing.

"KSI and the Lord Jesus Christ." Big Q finished. Up on stage, Tommy snorted.

"God endorses SWAG2020," Dream called out, causing another round of laughter.

"Alright, Tommy." Wilbur said, prodding the child towards the mic. "Please announce your first- your- our first endorsement, please."

Tommy cleared his throat. "Now, after years of fighting, and- and- you know, a general negative presence, I've finally got who we needed on our side, to turn, probably, just the entire world around."

"Oh brother," you grumbled.

"Everyone- everyone, please-"

*long pause as Firefly tries to figure out how the endorsement link is going to work*

*even longer pause*

*desk slamming sounds*

*send help*

"Everyone, everyone, please, uh, please turn your attention up here," Tommy called as Wilbur wheeled out a projector. You and Punz shared a look of confusion and amusement.

After a solid moment of confusion about how to operate the thing, they finally got it going and you whispered to no one in particular, "I should've brought popcorn."

After a fancy looping intro, a man in glasses appeared on the screen. "Look, me and Tommy have had, uh, had our differences in the past, but that doesn't change the fact that I am a firm supporter of POG2020. I have every belief in it, support the movement." The screen faded to black and a light round of applause was heard.

"If that doesn't convince you to vote POG2020..." Wilbur called out from the stage as he wheeled away the projector. After a conversation between Will and Tommy, Wilbur playfully shoved Tommy away from the mic. "Get outta here, I've got my endorsement. Here he comes, the one, the only-"

You just about had a heart attack when Schlatt stood up and started walking towards the stage, slightly drunk and confused.

"The f*** am I? Where the f*** am I? Oh, God. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh God, I just got up-" This continued for several minutes as Schlatt finally climbed up onto the stage and took the mic. "Hello? Whe-"

"Do you know where you are?" Wilbur asked bluntly.

"We're presidency," Tommy butted in. "POG2020."

"Presidency?" Schlatt asked, a cynical smile spreading across his face. "Democracy is overrated. You don't- you think you need a president? I'LL BE MY OWN PRESIDENT! HAVE I'LL- I'LL RUN MYSELF! I'LL RUN MYSELF!" Tommy, at this point, took the mic forcefully and started yelling over Schlatt that JSchlatt was their second endorsement. "SCHLATT2020!" There was another few minutes of screaming and slandering before Schlatt paused and went, "Oh wait, here it is. COCONUT2020-?"

"YAAAA! WOOOO!" Punz yelled from beside you.

Schlatt was forcefully escorted from the stage.

After this, Wilbur asked, "Any more endorsements for POG2020?" He was pointedly looking at you, but you gave the smallest shake of your head and his face fell.

"Moving on to the debate!" Tommy yelled. "Me and Tubbo are going to be the questionnaires-"

"I'LL BE IN THE DEBATE!" Schlatt yelled.

"Oh gosh, just shut your mouth, Schlatt, you're making this worse," you muttered.

"Me, Tubbo, and JSchl- I think he has a knife on him, Wilbur, I think he has a knife on him."

"The actual people running today need to go and have a discussion in the white house. I think, uh, Quackity-" Schlatt pulled out a crossbow and shot at Tommy.

"I- HE- THEY- THE CRAZY- THE CRAZY OLD MAN HAS A GUN! THE OLD MAN HAS A GUN!" Tommy screamed, grabbing Wilbur and pulling him away from the stage.

You smacked your head onto the chair repeatedly as people erupted into chaos around you. Seeing as there was nothing else to listen to, you decided to leave and go sleep for a while.

Your tent was blissfully dark and quiet as the sun sunk lower and lower. You could hear the occasional phrase from the stage ('Sit there and have a big fat a**' was probably the most notable), but other than that, there was very little politics in the olive-black tent in the woods. Around 1 A.M., just after you'd fallen asleep, a small squadron of screaming politicians ran past, and you caught a brief glimpse of Schlatt with a bunch of potions in his arms and Dream with four swords strapped to his back. They played a game of deadly ring-around-the-rosy with your tent and POG2020 for a while until you got mad at them.

"YOU F***ING BUNCH OF COWLICKERS, GO RUN THINE 'FAT A**ES' OUT OF HERE BEFORE I TURN YOU ALL INTO ORPHANS, YOU PACK OF MEWLING B*TCHES!"

They shut up and started trying to murder each other elsewhere.

Finally, you fell asleep and managed to get a wonderful night's rest until a crow decided to fly into your tent and get stuck there at 5 A.M. and wouldn't SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

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964 words

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I severely downsized a lot of the dialogue because dialogue SUCKS

Also, next chapter will be the first joint chapter with Mel, so this'll be fun XD

I'm going to sleep.

The last three paragraphs were fun to write because it accurately describes me right now.

So goodbye cowlickers.

TA TE CHILDREN