Family life

Breaking down.

Meredith was a walking zombie. Getting through the days, day by day and step by step. Apart from sorting the kids, she didn't do anything. She slept.

Derek was worried as he watched his wife forced a smile as she spoke to his mom.

"Hey Amy." Derek said as he watched his sister walk towards him. "Can you just watch the kids? I need to speak to Mer." He smiled at her, hoping she knew he was desperate to talk to her.

"Yeah." Amelia didn't question it any further as she placed herself down next to Willow and Oscar, playing with their toys and getting them to giggle. Derek smiled quick before heading towards Meredith.

"Hey ma, can I borrow my wife quickly?" He smiled towards Carolyn and watched as she nodded, letting Derek drag Meredith away.

Taking her outside, they stood next to each other, looking out from the porch. Derek placed his hand on Meredith's back, running it lovingly up and down.

"Hey Mer." She continued to stare ahead. "Mer." Derek said a bit more forcefully, watching as she finally turned and looked at him. "Talk to me." He cupped her cheek in his hand and ran his thumb along her cheek.

"There's nothing to talk about." She shrugged her shoulders and turned head away from him, taking a deep breath in. "My moms dead, what else is there to say. Nothing."

She knew she was shutting down and pushing him away but she didn't even know herself how she was feeling. Her mind was completely scrambled. How was she meant to talk about how she was feeling to Derek when she wasn't even sure herself.

"Mer, you aren't yourself, you're shutting down. We only ever talk about the kids, you haven't smiled in days, not properly anyways. You barely eat, I mean fuck, we haven't even slept in the same bed in, I don't even know anymore." Derek tried not to get frustrated.

"Is that what this is about?" Meredith pulled away from Derek and turned to face him, glaring at him. "All this about you not being able to get your dick wet? Grow the fuck up Derek. I'm sorry that I'm busy looking after our kids, will trying to process this mess of a situation. You know what, fuck this. Me and the kids are going home, you...you stay here or go wherever, I don't care." Meredith pushed past Derek.

Derek was quick to reach out and grab Meredith's arm, keeping a tight hold on her wrist.

"Meredith, don't pull that game. It's not about us not having sex, of course I miss it but that's not it. But I miss holding you, falling and waking up with you in my arms. We are a mess, your mother is coming between us even when she isn't here anymore..." Derek stopped as Meredith pulled her arm out of Derek's and continued back into the house.

"Meredith, don't walk away from me!" Derek shouted as they stormed through the kitchen and straight past Carolyn, who frowned with concern.

"Leave me alone Derek." Meredith leaned down and scooped Willow into her arms, reaching out her free hand to grasp Oscar in hers. "Come on little man, home time. Say goodbye." Meredith was doing her best not to break down right now.

"Bye meme." Oscar waved his little hand before they three of them walked out, Derek hot on their heels.

"Say bye to dada as well Oscar." Meredith didn't stop as she unlocked the car and placed Willow in her seat, placing her dummy in her mouth, stopping her cries. Oscar frowned at Meredith before reaching his arms up.

"Meredith, this is ridiculous. I'm coming home with you." He watched as she placed Oscar in his seat and then shut the door, swirling round to face him.

"No you're not. I can't be around you right now, you're unbearable." Her hand waved round in the air. "Just, I need space."

"This space is a couple of hours, day, weeks, months? Tell me Meredith." Derek walked closer.

"I don't know." She looked up at him.

"Please. Please don't do this Meredith." He reached and cupped her cheeks, brushing his lips against hers.

"I can't." Meredith turned her head away and climbed into the car and reversed out of the drive, not looking back at heart broken Derek, still standing in the same position.

He felt sick. His family, his whole life had just drove off and left him alone. How was he meant to carry on? Not knowing if their family would be altogether again.

*A/N*
Don't hate me hehe.

Grief is a horrible thing and so different for everyone, so I want to explore some different types. Writing the next chapter now.