stumbling into line (sidemen ff)

Chapter 20: 'Two hundred and ninety miles.'

Harry was beyond confused.  Freya and Josh had left without a word a couple days ago and now no one knew where they were or what the hell this pregnancy thing was about.  Tobi, who apparently knew, refused to tell him what it was about, claiming that it was none of his business.

The only idea that they had of where Josh and Freya had ran off too was a tweet from Josh saying he was taking a small break from YouTube, which of course caused a frenzy among the fans.  Half of them angry, the other half worried.  Harry was a little bit of both.

"Seriously, Tobi, tell me where they've gone." Simon demands, leaning his hands against the island and looking as tired as a dog with bags under his eyes and a hunched back. 

"I have no idea where they've gone!" Tobi claims as Vikk walks in the kitchen, looking slightly confused as to why there is so many people in his kitchen but he soon catches on as he opens the fridge and sticks his head in it.

"Are you guys retarded or something?" He pulls his head from the fridge to stare at everyone, "They've gone to Paris, dip shits."

At first everyone looks confused but surely, one by one, the information clicks.  Starting with Tobi and finishing with Harry.  Vikk seriously considers booking them all doctors appointments.  Freya had talked about going to Paris for the past year.  Josh had said, publicly, on Twitter that he would take her just two weeks ago.  He had booked the tickets, written it on their shared calendar so no one would get him to do stuff at that time and then he had stuck the tickets to the fridge along with a short shopping list of things he wanted fetching whilst he was gone.  Vikk seriously couldn't have been the only one that noticed that.

"Are you serious?" Vik raises his eyebrows in astonishment, "Josh booked the tickets two weeks ago!  Simon, those tickets were on the fridge the whole time."

Simon's face forms an 'O' shape and he nods his head, pretending that he did know that the tickets were gone, or that they were there in the first place.

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Two hundred and ninety miles.  That's what it took for Freya to think straight and realise what she wanted. 

Paris was beautiful and everything she had expected and it felt so special to be there.  Especially with Josh, who, at first, had been massively opposed to the idea.  It was another thing to add to the list of things they, and only they, had shared.

The serenity of the place made her realise why having an abortion had shook her up so much.  Like she had lost an actual child rather than an undeveloped embryo.  She wanted the baby.  She always wanted kids, ever since she was little but at the time, not that long ago, it hadn't seemed logical and it still didn't but logic was over written by love.  Something that she hadn't noticed before.

So, sitting on the big, king sized bed in her James Bond themed hotel room, she brought the topic to Josh.  She didn't dance around it, she was blunt because beating around the bush got you absolutely no where in life.

"Josh, I want a baby."

Josh seems to be working a little slow as he turns his head towards her from where he is folding some clothes into piles ready to put in draws.  Freya can track every emotion that crosses his face, from confusion to shock to amusement.  The last one she isn't too happy about.

"Don't you think we should get married first?" He asks, a smirk playing across his face and taunting her.

"Jooosssh," she whines, laying back on the bed, "I'm serious."

"So am I!" Josh claims, "We have just been through all that and I lost you because of it.  I'm not losing you again and divorces take a long time." His tone is still joking and it frustrates Freya.  This is serious, she is serious.

"Josh, you know I'll never marry you so shut up and tell me what you really think." She groans, running her hand carelessly down her face and looking towards Josh.  Her neck aches but she wants to see his face, and his reaction, but mainly his face.

"What I think?  I don't think we should have another baby", Freya sighs at 'another', "We had an abortion for a reason and you are still unstable after it.  I don't want it to happen again or for something to go wrong."

Josh is now trying to gauge Freya's reaction and she reacts accordingly by smashing her head back against the bed and letting a long, disheveled sigh a long with a few muttered and incoherent curses tumble from her mouth.  Josh walks over and kneels by her head and leaning over so he is blocking any light from getting to her face.

"I'm not unstable." She mutters, that being the only defense she can think of.  Josh sigh and lays next to her, intertwining their fingers and staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm not saying I never want another baby.  I'm just saying that now doesn't feel very appropriate.  How do you think Josh Jr. would feel if we replaced him?  Heaven wouldn't much fun for him anymore." Josh jokes, giving Freya's hand a little squeeze.  Freya shakes her head.

"Our dead baby, is a) Not even a baby, just an embryo that didn't even have a heart or brain b) Not called Josh Jr. and c) Not in heaven, but if those things were true then I'm sure he wouldn't mind.  He'd be too busy playing fucking ring around the roses with God to give a shit what we were doing." Josh laughs, a proper, hearty laugh that Freya missed.

"Fair point, but I still think it's a bit soon," Freya is about to interrupt, but is stopped by Josh continuing, "Let's just sleep on it, okay?"

"Okay." Freya nods, knowing that she won't get any more from Josh.

"Okay." Josh returns, smirking.

"Shut up." She whispers, a faint smirk on her lips.

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"I've met your parents, Ads.  I want you to meet mine." Harry reasons, trying to get Adriana to come to Guernsey with him.

"Harry, I've barely ever left London, never mind practically leaving the country!" It was an excuse, but it wasn't good enough, for Harry or Adriana.  Truth be told, she was just scared.  She had never been on an airplane and she had only ever talked to Harry's little brother, which was only for a brief period of time.  She was jittery and hyper and they were certainly not likeable thing about her.  Especially her uncanny ability to insult everyone she meets without even noticing.

"It'll be fine." He reassures putting his hands on either side of her face and forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Promise?" She asks, pouting and fluttering her eyelashes.

Harry smiles and pecks her lips.

"Promise."

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Okay!  My wattpad is seriously screwing up after the last app update... it says that there is no parts to this story yet I can still see the 19 chapters when I go externally to the story... it's confusing...

Anyway, I have been writing my ass off and have written all the way up to chapter 28!!!!

I'm gonna set you guys a goal of 10 votes and 2 constructively criticising comments if you can please!!  I am more bothered about the comments than votes and the comment could just be what your favourite part of the Chapter was and why... simple :-)

Chapter 21 sneak peek -

‘Ethan could just imagine the way his eyes would glaze over with uncontrollable thoughts that dragged him away from the world and into a deep state of fear or worry, depending on what was wrong.'

Baii love you guys xx