*WARNING SHITTY CHAPTER*
Nothing was okay, it never was but that didn't mean she wasn't happy. She was happy, she really was. Sometimes, though, she found it hard to go to sleep at night knowing that if she was to wake from a nightmare then she wouldn't have anyone to hug her and tell her it wasn't real. The worst part, it was her fault.
She wanted to feel his arms around her and to smell his familiar aftershave. She needed him, she always did. The realisation of this was like someone had woken her up with a metal sheet to the face. It all started with Tobi tweeting the lyrics to a song he knew and, like the stupid person he is, he tagged both Josh and Freya in it. She wasn't happy about it for she did not need her love life plastering across the internet but she couldn't say that she wasn't slightly grateful. Also, she may have had one too many alcoholic beverages that were her not-so-solid excuse for her reply.
TEE-OH-BEE-EYE @Tobjizzle
You can't change the way she feels
But you could put your arms around her. @freyyx @ZerkaaHD
Freya Nightingale @freyyx
@Tobjizzle @ZerkaaHD fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
The next morning, when the night before starts to become less fuzzy and she starts to panic that the privacy she had managed to salvage from Josh and the other guys' fans had been destroyed. Luckily, said people were a 'banterous' bunch and thought of it was an inside joke they knew nothing about. It was inside? Sure. A joke? Definitely not.
Josh's reaction to the tweet, however, caused a laugh to bubble up from a part of her that she hadn't seen for a while. It was an inside joke. So inside that Tobi didn't even understand it and had replied to it with the usual accusation of, 'Nah, that's so gay.' Josh and Freya had often joked that One Direction's music sounded like someone threw a box of instruments down the stairs but the lyrics were okay and by 'okay', they meant, 'They're all sappy in one form or another and I'm in love so I like it.' His tweet, from which he had removed Tobi, was simple lyrics from a song of 1D's that Freya always said was the second best to any song that Tom Fletcher or anyone from McFly had had a part in. Half because their musical talent was appealing to her but also because McFly was a massive part of her musical growing up and had encouraged her to learn the guitar. It was simply, 'Need you to keep me from falling apart. I'll always hold on. 'Cause you make me strong,' nothing more, nothing less, yet it sparked a fire inside Freya that burned her from inside out. It also started a lyrical conversation, something she did with Josh regularly over text when they were together.
Freya -
Who's that shadow holding me hostage? I've been here for days
Who's this whisper telling me that I'm never gonna get away?
Josh -
Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage
I know that in the morning now I see us in the light upon a hill
Although I am broken, my heart is untamed, still
Freya -
I used to think that I was better alone
Why did I ever wanna let you go?
Josh -
The spaces between us
Keep getting deeper
It’s harder to reach her
Even though I've tried
YOU ARE READING
stumbling into line (sidemen ff)
Fanfiction'Would you give up your happiness for her?' 'No, she is my happiness' --- 'One add one equals one. Me add him equals one. Everything equals one. But how you get there is always different.' --- 'Love is a one time thing, but it's so unknown to hum...
