Ch. 10~It's a Dull World Without Green-Bucky (Loki)Angst

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I swerve a little as I speed down the city streets, bright lights turning into a dizzying blur around me like when I used to ride the Vomitatron at the fair. My gaze is solid and steady on the road ahead of me. The one thing in my fucking world that's always been a constant; the ugly black scar torn into the earth guiding me to somewhere better. Which is anywhere. I blow through another red light and chuckle at the honking of horns.

Being around the Avengers does have its perks. It's infinitely easier to steal one of Stark's cars, for example. He won't mind paying the tickets for me. He owes me a few favors anyway. Eventually the city falls away and I'm embraced by the emptiness of the countryside. A couple more miles fly by before I pull over into a random field, then jump out and slam the car door shut. I relish in disturbing the silence with the noise. The grass tickles my bare feet and I only now realize I didn't even bother to put shoes on. All I'm wearing is a baggy t-shirt and underwear. My eyes scan the land around me and I almost laugh. There's no one to see me anyways, so who gives a fuck?

I tilt my head to the sky and look at the stars. There are actual stars this far out of the city. I show my teeth in some semblance of a grin and scream. The sound rips its way out of my throat like a wild animal and leaves it dry and burning as if I just downed a bottle of alcohol. Damn. Should've brought a bottle with me. Of course, after the scream fades it's only me again. Alone, again. I fall to my knees and the damp earth catches me by my knees. My hands turn into fists and I cage my eyes with them as I begin to cry. Soon, sobs rack through me, leaving me trembling with the sadness in me that just wants out please let it out god please. My only comfort is that I'm alone. Of course, that ends too. My head snaps up when I hear a motorcycle in the distance and I quickly stand, drying my tears with the soft edge of my shirt. I huff when he stops and dismounts in one quick movement, letting out the kickstand without even looking away from the silhouette that is me.

I cross my arms across my chest and purse my lips. "Out for a night drive?" I remark sarcastically as he walks up to me. He's angry, I can see that just from the way he's carrying himself. Tight shoulders, sharp frown, fists clenched tight. Great.

"Following your crazy fucking ass. What the hell were you thinking? You ran every stoplight from the facility to here!" He scolds and I sigh.

"Oh no, the terror of tickets." I force all the apathy I can into the word and Bucky's frown deepens. "Calm down, Barnes, it isn't like Tony can't afford it." The moonlight glints off his metal arm as the plates shift which means he's really pissed.

"I don't give a shit about Stark. What's going on with you? You tore out of the garage like a fucking racer." Bucky's eyes scrutinize me and I know he can see my red eyes. Dammit.

"I wanted to go for a drive. Speaking of..." I nod to him and walk past him to get back in the car, but he grabs my arm firmly, spinning me back to face him. Instantly, I jerk my arm out of his grasp. "Get the fuck off me, Barnes. Oh, and get the hell out of here while you're at it." I hiss venomously. Unfair, yes. It's not his fault I'm out here. It's not his fault my heart is aching like someone dick punched the thing. Bucky now grabs both my arms and makes me face him.

"The fuck is wrong with you? You're usually a bitch, but not this bad." He jokes a little which would usually illicit a witty retort from me, but not tonight. I meet his dark eyes without an ounce of humor in mine.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware your feelings were so fragile, princess. Why don't you leave to go cry on Steve's shoulder?" I move to swipe his hands off me, but he holds fast. His eyes scan my face while his eyebrows furrow in concern. It just had to be Bucky. I could lie to Steve easily enough, even Tony, but Bucky somehow always sees through my bullshit.

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