Beside You

38 - the struggle

It's been two weeks since my birthday. Two weeks since I'd properly spoken to Trent. Granted, he was busy with his tour. But we seemed to manage perfectly fine for a month. He'd call me every second he could.

And now? Nothing.

I got a few texts here and there, saying he was busy. That he'd call me later. But he never would. So here I am, sitting on the sofa trying to find something to watch. The same thing I'd done for these past two weeks.

"Good morning!" Grace called as she entered the house, lunch in hand as she came into the living room. "I brought you some lunch." She announced, placing the bag on the coffee table in front of me.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

Grace huffed, flopping onto the couch beside me. "You've said that for the last four days." She pointed out, taking the tv remote from my hand. "Eat your damn sandwich!"

Grace scrolled through Netflix until she put 'Friends' on. Huffing, I pulled the sandwich out the bag and reluctantly took slow bites from it.

Grace stood, pressing her phone against her ear. "Hey Hudson." She paused. "Yeah I'm here with her now....yes she's eating the sandwich. Had to force the damn thing on her though."

I roll my eyes at her comment as she placed her phone down on the coffee table. "How you doing?" He asked, his voice coming through the speakers on Grace's phone.

"Guys I don't need babysitting. I appreciate your concern, but I'm an adult. I'm fine." I tell them both as I can hear Hudson huffing down the line. "I'm not trying to be your babysitter. I'm your best friend who's worried about you. So I'm going to ask again, and your stubborn ass will answer me honestly." He speaks sternly. "How are you?"

I roll my eyes, chucking the half eaten sandwich down on the table. "Two weeks. It has been two weeks. How do you think I'm doing?" I sigh. "I'm just so frustrated. And I don't even know why he's being so radio silent..because he won't pick up the damn phone."

"Have you heard from him?" Grace asks Hudson. "Nothing. He texted me the other day when I asked him if he was good, saying he was fine. Just busy, but that's it."

"Screw this." I hiss, standing from the couch as I clutch my phone in my hand. "Where are you going?" Grace asks as I start to walk away. "He won't pick up his phone? That's fine. But one way or another I'm talking to his ass today."

And with that, I walk out to the backyard. I pull my blanket around me I took from inside as the cold air whipped past me.

I tried calling his number first but, big shock, he didn't answer. I called Chris. I called Mitch. Neither of them picked up either.

I only had one option left. I clicked the contact as it rang a few times. "Hello?" His familiar voice spoke from the other end of the line as I sighed in relief. "Giovanna? Is everything ok?" Andrew asked.

"I'm sorry to call you like this, but I need to speak to Trent. Now." I plead down the phone. "He's just coming out of sound check. I'll put you on the phone with him now." Andrew says.

I hear shuffling on the other end of the phone as Andrew hands him the phone. "Someone on the line for you. Sounds urgent."

"Hello?" Trent's out of breath voice speaks from down the line. "Oh hey. Remember me?" I say, feeling slightly irritated that these are the lengths I have to go to now just to get a response.

"Gee, hey. Sorry, I'm just really busy, I've barely had time to catch my breath." He says down the line. "Trent, you can't sit here and tell me you haven't had one free minute just to pick up the phone and say hi. It didn't even need to be a massive chat. One minute. It would've been enough." I reply sadly, clinging to the blanket around me as the wind picked up.

I heard him sigh down the end of the line. "I'm sorry."

"This isn't going to work if we carry on like this. I can't do it Trent. I've been miserable for the past two weeks. Taking my frustrations out on these guys who are only trying to be supportive. When I'm reality, it's you I'm upset with. But I couldn't show you that, because you never answered the damn phone." I reply, choking back my tears.

"Gio..I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel like that. I've just been so caught up in everything here. It's just a lot. I should've made more time for you." He admits.

"Aria's been asking why you won't talk to her. Thinks it's because you don't want to be her dad anymore.." I whisper out, wiping away a tear which silent fell down my cheek.

I hear him cuss under his breath on the other end of the phone. "I'll call after the show tonight. Should be before she goes to bed back home." He sighs out, obviously feeling guilty now.

And, quite frankly, he should.

"Ok.."

We both sit in silence for a moment, neither of us really knowing what to say. It's the first time this has ever happened with him. And I had no idea what it meant. But it scared me.

"Giovanna.." he started, but I heard Andrew calling to him that they needed to get ready for his show. "Duty calls.." I tell him, and I can just picture him running his hands through his hair frustrated.

"We'll talk later?"

"Yeah.." I reply. "Hey...I love you.." he adds.

"I love you too.." I say, hanging up the phone.

I do love him. But he's making this distance thing harder than it should be. He's busy. I get it. But not every minute of his life is busy. He can easily find a single minute just to call and say hi.

So why is it that it has become so hard all the sudden?