So you think you're bold huh?

Trying

A/N: It's the middle of the night and I'm craving gummy's. It's just that time of night where you long for that delicate feel of the squishy, pink, fruity gummy bear. You know what if you decide to hate me after that I will completely not blame you:|

Dream's POV:

I walked into the stadium alone. Which is super great for someone like me in a school like this! It's chill though because I knew if I had to, I could stand my own against at least two guys around my size. Nothing would happen anyways I'm just paranoid without my usual crew. I tried to reassure myself but it didn't prove to be very helpful until I saw George running out with the rest of his team. He ran his fingers through his soft hair before shoving his helmet over his head in somewhat of a graceful way. I could never understand how this guy could be so pretty but so...attractive and masculine, at the same time. God, it's cringy but he is so fucking hot.

Here I am, that one loner kid with acne scars and greasy hair sitting alone at a football game and drooling over the football team's quarterback like some stereotype. This guy is fucking me up.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Karl and Nick walking up the bleachers towards where I was sitting. I didn't think they noticed me at first, but soon enough Nick and I made eye contact and Karl dragged him over to me. I awkwardly stared down at my feet and scratched the back of my neck. "Hey," Karl started and stood right in front of me with Nick right behind him. They were closer than usual. "What the hell happened to you guys! You disappeared from the surface of the earth!" I snapped and gestured for them to sit down next to me. "We needed time to think and focus on something else before trying to deal with you. And before you get mad, you know how much you can be sometimes, especially when it comes to crushes," I scoffed, but he was right. If I didn't love how I looked and presented myself, I'd hate every part of myself. It's like, you love who you look like but hate who's inside. I guess all I can do is hide my insecurities with overconfidence. "So, what is that 'something else that was more important than making sure I knew you're at least alive!" Karl bonked me on the back of my head.

"We're dating dumb ass!" He said and held up his hand which was holding firmly onto Nicks. I sighed. It's not like I didn't know this would happen the second Nick and I met Karl. It was obvious from the start and saying I was ever surprised that shit is ending like this would be a fucking lie. "Don't act too surprised," Karl joked. "Congratulations, really." Nick frowned. He hasn't even said a word to me and he's over here making faces?!?

"I'm trying to be nice," I told him. "Yeah, and you're not doing a good job. You could at least be an ass to us instead of sulking and outing out shallow little fake 'congratulations'" Nick told me. I was waiting for the bite, so why did this one sting so much? "What he said might have been harsh, but dude, it's the truth. We're trying to be nice, and we took time to do that but I didn't see you even try Clay." Karl told me in a cold voice and got up to leave. "Why would I try to be nice? I opened up and told you something that was really hard for me, and all of you got pissed about it! At this point, I don't give a fuck if I date some shitty person who hates all of you! At least I won't be hanging off my best friend because I'm too scared to confront someone!" I told them and grabbed my bag before marching down the bleachers.

As soon as I got out of that stupid fucking field I felt the hot and thick tears flood out of my eyes. It wasn't even because I was hurt by Nick and everyone. It was mostly because I was the one who hurt them. I'm a fucking horrible person and I've always known it. I knew I'd screw up everything in my life at some point. I got a perfectly fine family, and I fucked it up. I had a fine body and I fucked it up. I had a fine life and I fucked it up. And I had god damn amazing friends and I fucked that up too. Everything I get isn't broken enough for me to feel like I deserve it so I always end up hurting people. There's never been a single person in my life I didn't scare away. Except for those four amazing ass guys who won't even talk to me anymore. And all I did in response is throw shitty words their way and march away from something broken.

In the end, I know they'll all have each other, and their lives will be easier without me here to stir up trouble. Bad will go back to blending in. Karl will be popular. Nick won't ever be uncomfortable. Quackity will laugh without pain in his voice. And I won't get in the way anymore. I guess in the end I found my place in that group anymore. I'm not the glue, or the manipulator, or the social one, I'm the fucking ice burg to the titanic.

I wiped my hot cheeks and felt my legs get faster while I ran and ran and ran. I didn't even know where I was going until I slung open the door to my old car and slumped into the passenger seat. I locked the doors and brought my knees to my chest before letting out the tears I was trying desperately(and failing miserably) to hold back.

My eyes were blurry and dark and the pounding in my head seemed to increase in volume, maybe to combat the loud and messy sobs coming from my heavy chest.

I need to be out there for George.

Is the first sensible thought I could muster up.

It makes sense. If no one else will be there for him I will. And if his bastard of a dad comes after all I'll be happy to fit into the crowd of cheering strangers that soullessly cheer for a boy who will never notice their chants. Maybe that's what love means and I'm actually going crazy. Maybe if I'm this broken already my heart wants to get the final blow over with before suffering another careless and open-ended day that only harms the ones I'm expected to love. Amidst all the shitty behavior in my brain, there has to be at least one last potentially fine thing I can do for a boy who in all honesty probably doesn't deserve it as I want him to.

A/N: So basically I may or may not be sad right now. Except, "Be happy, if you can. If not, it'll come around." -WilburSoot. Also, you guys are so fucking awesome and bring me joy and a friendly god complex:)