𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 [ 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐚𝐮 ]

not fair .05

"what about lily and i?" nini asked as she straightened up more in her seat. ricky cleared his throat and let out a sigh.

"neens—"

"ricky... please don't call me that," nini quickly corrected the boy. ricky looked up at nini with regret but quickly shook it away. he cleared his throat and nodded his head.

"sorry... my bad.. it's a force of habit," ricky told nini. the girl looked away from ricky's eyes and to the floor. ricky took in a deep breath before continuing, "listen... i don't think you should be writing about lily and i anymore."

"w-what?" nini breathed out as she looked at ricky with shock.

"nini ... it's just not fair—"

"—not fair?"

"well.. it's not! lily and i have been together for over a year now and you're still coming at us with your songs," ricky explained while nini rolled her eyes, "imagine how lily feels when she hears your songs..."

nini scoffed and let out a chuckle, "i'm sorry, ricky? but when i'm writing my songs.. lily's feelings are the least of my concerns. like.. i'm not gonna give up good writing material to spare lily's feelings. besides i'm not writing about both you and lily, i'm writing about you. only you."

"then what the hell is this new song, nini?" ricky asked as he inched his body closer to the girl, "it's obviously about lily and i. you can't deny that."

"it's about the fact that you're doing everything that you and i did together — with lily. it's literally in the song. and i'm not shaming your girlfriend or anything. i'm calling you out for being unoriginal and inconsiderate," nini explained in a stern voice. ricky shook his head and sighed.

"nini.. i don't— i really don't know what you want from me at this point," ricky said in a cold voice.

"i don't want anything from you."

"then why are you doing this?? why do you keep writing songs about me?" ricky questioned.

"you mean to tell me that you've never written any songs about me?" nini challenged back as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

ricky fell silent and sighed in defeat. they both glanced at rico who was eyeing the two with curiousity. nini forced a smile at the boy before turning her attention back on ricky.

"listen ricky... i'm sorry if i've caused some problems between you and lily. okay? i really am," nini started to say in a calmer and quieter voice, "but you can't ask me to stop writing... it's how i cope. you and i may be ancient history in your brain but everything ... it all still hurts me. i know it sounds lame because it's been so long ago, but ... it's just... i lost a lot of people in my life in such a short time. i'm glad you've been happy and stable since us, but i'm not gonna sacrifice my happiness for yours again...it's not fair."

ricky leaned back into the lounge chair and nodded his head. he kept his eyes stuck on the floor while nini looked to him for a reply, "one hundred seventy-eight."

"what?"

"one hundred seventy-eight," ricky repeated once again. their eyes met but nini furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion.

"i don't understand."

"that's how many songs i've written about you," ricky softly spoke, eyeing the girl. nini felt her heart warm up as a small smile formed on her lips. ricky shot her a smile back but it quickly faded once nini shook her head with annoyance.

"nope, no! you can't do that, ricky," nini complained while she rolled he eyes, "you can't keep doing this to me."

"what? do what?" ricky asked. nini got up from the lounge chair and towards the elevator doors. ricky quickly got up and followed the girl, "nini! do what?"

"you haven't spoken to me in over a year. i haven't since you since i last performed at the beachwood cafe and you i were talking on the fire escapes. you promised me that you would take yourself out of my life," nini argued once she finally turned around to face ricky, "and now you finally come and see me but it's only to demand me to stop writing music about you and your girlfriend?? while also trying to swoon me over by telling me that you wrote over a hundred songs about me?? you can't just do that, ricky."

"nini! i wasn't trying to 'swoon' you over. i was just telling you that because you asked if i ever wrote songs about you!"

"yeah but it was a rhetorical question. i didn't expect you to actually answer it! let alone know the exact number of songs," nini argued back, "how do you think that makes me feel?"

ricky sighed and ran his fingers threw his hair, "listen.. i'm sorry if i gave you the wrong idea—"

"ricky... i spent so much time trying to find happiness again. trying to find myself again," nini intervened as she spoke in a strong tone, "you can't just march back into my life and expect me to just ... drop everything for you. you know, maybe the old me would've down it but not anymore. i'm not gonna let your old games control me anymore."

"okay," ricky simply said as he backed away from the girl, "you're right, okay? i overstepped my boundaries and shouldn't have said anything at all... i'm sorry."

nini got taken aback from ricky's confession and apology but simply just nodded her head. the girl pressed the button for the elevator door to come get her. the both of them stood in silence as the elevator dings rang through their ears. ricky saw that the elevator was only two floors away before speaking up again.

"and yeah... i guess i do by the way," ricky finally answered. nini tilted her head.

"you guess you do what??"

"i do get deja vu sometimes," ricky honestly answered. the elevator door finally reached the lobby. nini and ricky looked at the elevator as it opened up. nini awkwardly stepped inside and looked at ricky with sadness. the boy just nodded his head and sighed, "i'm sorry about everything... nini. it was uh ... it was nice seeing you.. again.."

nini nodded her head and pressed the button for the elevator to close. she gave ricky one last look, "goodbye ricky," was all nini utter before the doors closed in front of her. nini let out a sigh of relief as she backed her self into the wall. the girl felt tears start to run down her face and her breaths get shorter.

by the time, nini reached the studio — she was full on sobbing. when the elevator doors opened, seb, kourtney, and red immediately saw the girl in distress and ran out to her. they brought nini out of the elevator and onto the couch. nini held her face in her hands and continued to cry while the rest of them looked at each other with confusion.

"nini.. hon.." kourtney cooed as she rubbed nini's back up and down, "what's wrong...?"

nini shook her head and stayed silent. kourtney nudged red and encouraged him to talk. red let out a frustrated sigh before crouching down to nini's level, "neens... what happened out there?"

"nothing... literally nothing," nini cried.

"what do you mean?" seb asked as he comforted the girl. nini finally rose her head from her hands and took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"you know ....i always wondered  how it'd be like if ricky and were to ever run into each other again..i thought it'd be different — like a fairytale," nini said, "but nothing has changed between us. he's still very much in love with lily and i'm still in love with him....for some fucking reason. and i still hate myself for loving him when his love for me is literally nonexistent now."

"nini..." red started to say but couldn't find the right words to finish. nini sucked in her tears and took in a deep breath.

"i thought we'd fall in love all over again," nini confessed with a silly smile on her face before shaking her head, "but nothing happened."