Sanhwa Oneshots

Abandonment 《A》

Summary: San has always felt abandoned, by his parents, family, and so called friends, but not all of his friends were bad. He simply didn't know what it was like to feel loved, relationships never worked out until he Seonghwa came along.
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Topic: Angst
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⚠️Warning⚠️
-Contains sensitive topics, read at your own risk-
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Not proofread, sorry for any mistakes
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For as long as San could remember, his mother was the the main ome taking care of him, his father suddenly disappeared and stopped coming around and would rarely call.

He did remember the very few times he'd stay with his father though, sometimes it was fun sometimes it wasn't and he was bored ot his mind or felt sad and just wanted to go back home, with his mother.

Sure his mom wasn't always the best either but, he stilled loved her regardless.

The older he got the more he started to see things for himself that he chose to ignore then, like the fact the reason his father didn't put much effort into seeing San anymore was because he was too busy chasing after other women and only used him as a way to impress them.

So he did develop a slight hate towards him, but again he couldn't help but to still love him, that was his father after all and sadly he couldn't change that.

The things with his mother, he went through things no child should.

He's seen her get abused and beat up to a point he felt so terrified he called his grandparents over multiple times before to help calm some situations, oe he either hid away in his room and pretend not to hear a thing.

He'd also started to notice how far out of the way she'd go for any man she was with, but when it came to him he felt like he aways came second or last, he felt like the last thought.

He knew his mother loved him dearly, and honestly she's all he had, considering he stopped seeing his father and the mane rarely called anymore and would always lie about coming for getting him things, it was to a point he'd just say okay and keep it moving.

He wasn't the happiest with his mother either, he felt like he had been abandoned, but never said a thing.

He lost his uncle who was like a father to him and the person he told everything to in elementary school, they'd plan trips and all. It left him feeling like everything was being taken.

Then he lost two of his bestest friends back to back  seventh grade, and that left him heartbroken for a while.

And he got yet another phone call about his cousin passing away, it felt like one bad thing after another was happening.

The feeling of abandonment just grew and grew.

He felt completely alone.

San tried to take his life, but failed with the attempt when his mother walked in and found him.

He said he wouldn't do it again, and never said the reason why he tried, simply because to him speaking about it wouldn't take away the pain kr the memories so he bottled everything up.

He'd have mental breakdowns on a daily sometimes, but it became easy to hide, way too easy...

He started doing what hs mother would always tell him, write about it, make a story from it, or just write down the thoughts you have in that moment.

Journal after journal was filled with writing.

Second time he tried to kill himself, was because of sexual assauls, that made him feel disgusted with himself. The many people that took advantage of his kind heart to get what they want, or just simply took advantage because who would believe him, and there's nothing that could be done about it.