Sina

Chapter 9

We're finally back in Manila after one week. I know Dash is not okay when I told him everything, but he made sure that our stay in Cebu was great. Lahat ng magagandang puntahan, binisita namin. We took a lot of pictures. We even prayed to a temple.

I can feel that Dash is both mad and hurt. Pakiramdam ko rin, sinisisi niya ang sarili sa nangyari sa akin. Yet, he doesn't confide anything. He just became sweeter as ever, doing extra mile to make me smile. I know him very well. It's his way of apologizing. I don't know how I will make him feel that it's not his fault and he didn't neglect me. Parati siyang bumabawi sa kasalanang hindi naman niya ginawa.

"Sama ka sa akin sa shop, baby?" he asks.

Ngumiti ako tsaka humalik sa labi niya. "Nope na, baby. Here na lang ako sa unit."

"Parang ang sama rin ng pakiramdan ko, baby. Ayoko yatang pumasok."

Napabangon ako sa pagkakahiga rito sa kama dahil sa sinabi niya. I hover beside him and touch his forehead to feel if he has a fever. Frowning, I lightly slap his cheek.

"Wala ka naman fever, baby."

He chuckles. "Ayoko muna pumasok. Dito muna ako sa'yo, baby."

"Sure ka?" paniniguro ko. Baka mamaya sick pala siya.

"Yes, baby. Higa na tayo uli. I want to cuddle you."

Sinunod ko ang sinabi niya.

I lie down, and make his chest as a pillow. His arms are wrapped around me. It brings warmth in my body and my heart. Binigyan niya ako ng halik sa ulo ko tsaka ako tumingala para salubungin ang labi niya. It's just a soft and short kiss, and we're smiling like fools.

"I love you, Sina," he mumbles, combing my hair with his fingers. "I promise that Ate Dazza will pay for everything that she did to you."

I smile. "Thank you for believing me, baby."

Sa pagkakaalam ko, simula noong nasa Cebu kami, may mga tao siyang inutusan para hanapin ang kapatid niya. Dash sounds angry every time he talks to his people. Maski nang kinausap niya si Mommy Sophie at tinanong tungkol kay Dazza, hindi maitago ang diin sa boses niya. He even told the truth about me getting raped by his sister. Akala ko 'di maniniwala si Mommy pero iba ang nangyari.

Parati akong kinakamusta ni Mommy Sophie. Like Dash, she keeps on apologizing to me. Oh god. I can still hear her cries on the phone. Alam kong masakit para kanila ito. But I'm glad that they believed me. They didn't doubt on me. Matagal ko na pala dapat sinabi para hindi na naulit pa.

"No one's gonna hurt you again, baby. Mas aalagaan at mamahalin kita."

"Dash, baby . . ."

Sumeryoso naman ang mukha niya. He caresses my right cheek and breathes out. "Papakasalan mo pa rin naman ako, 'di ba?"

"Yes, baby." I chuckle and show the proposal ring in my right hand that he gave. "Marry mo na ako soon. I love you."

He smiles. "Yeah, baby. After your final defense, we can finally start planning our wedding. Okay lang sa'yo?"

"Okay, baby. Thank you." I kiss him on the cheek. Gusto ko pang yumakap pero nakakaramdam na ako ng gutom. Tumunog bigla ang tummy ko, parehas na lang kaming natawa. "Gusto ko ng chicken curry, baby. Cook ka na, please."

"Takaw talaga ng baby ko."

He laughs, and it sounds so good. Ang guwapo talaga ng baby ko. Hinalikan niya muna ako sa labi bago siya bumangon at lumabas ng kwarto. When he left, I climb out of bed.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. I can see my own reflection. My long, wavy and brownish black hair is still messy. My eyes look like a bitch because of the shape of my eyebrows - thin and sharp. Minana ko kay mommy ito. Ang mala-hugis puso kong mukha at ilong, nakuha ko kay daddy.

Mapait akong napangiti. Hinaplos ko ang mga braso ko. I look clean, yet a little part inside me whispers that I'm dirty. Kahit anong isip ko na hindi totoo 'yon, na hindi ko ginusto 'yon, nasasaktan pa rin ako. I only gave myself to Dash, but his sister did me dirty. I hate her.

Even though it's wrong, I wish she'll just die. I'm not a person who resorts to violence, but I feel different. Gusto kong maglaho na siya. Gusto kong mawala na siya. I don't want to see her ever again. If not, she deserves to rot in jail or even in hell. Kahit saan, basta mawala na siya sa buhay ko.

I feel so evil. I don't know justice anymore.

Sighing, I go to the bathroom, wear my robe and wash my face. Isinuklay ko lang ang mga daliri pababa sa aking buhok. Dash always tells that I look sexy in my bedroom hair. Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos, lumabas na ako at dumiretso sa kusina.

Naabutan ko siyang naghihiwa ng carrots. I ask if he needs help, but he refuses. Umupo na lang ako sa sofa at binuksan ang TV. Hindi ko alam kung anong title ng K-drama ang nasa ABS-CBN. Basta sirena iyong bidang babae. Si Thana ang mahilig sa mga Korean, sigurado akong alam niya ito.

Itinungtong ko ang legs ko sa sandalan ng sofa para humiga dahil nabo-bored ako sa palabas. Pinanood ko na lang si Dash na nagluluto mula rito. Sanay na sanay talaga siya sa household chores. Kaya bihira lang din akong kumilos dito, inuunahan niya ako parati. Ang s'werte ko sa kanya.

Mamaya nga, ipagluluto ko siya ng pork steak. Bibili rin ako ng cake sa Conti's para may dessert kami. Sa middle of the night na lang ako magiging snack niya. Napangisi na lang ako sa naiisip.

"You're giggling. Thinking of something lewd, baby?"

I grin at Dash when he speaks up. Kabisado na niya talaga ako. "Baka ikaw, baby."

"Ah yeah, baby," he replies, smirking. "Nakataas ba naman ang legs at nakikita ko ang panty mo, you think I won't get horny?"

"Do you want me to take it off?" pang-aasar ko. Naka-wear lang kasi ako ng lingerie sa ilalim ng robe ko.

He suddey avoids my gaze, then washes the sliced carrots and potatoes in the sink. "Suit yourself, baby. Ipahinga mo muna ang pussy mo at mamaya ko kakainin."

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi dahil sa sinabi niya. Oh god. Ang sexy talaga niya mag-dirty talk kahit kailan. Natu-turn on agad ako basta siya. I can't resist the temptation, but I just really want to watch him cooking.

Ibinaling ko na lang muli ang atensyon sa TV.  Ililipat ko na sana ng channel dahil biglang balita na ang pinapalabas. Weird but I like watching news. I don't want to be an ignorant with what's happening to the world. Sigurado rin akong tungkol na naman sa politics ang mga balita dahil may mukha ng mayor ng Manila City. Nakakasawa na lang talaga marinig ang mga kasinungalingan ng mga nasa pulitiko.

My eyebrows furrow upon reading the news headlines. I even my rub my eyes to see if I read it right, but the headlines are moving. Sakto namang iyon ang susunod na sinabi ng newscaster.

"Dash! Oh god! Come here! Baby, dali!" taranta kong sigaw.

Mabilis naman siyang pumunta rito sa sala. Nabigla ko yata siya dahil napalakas ang boses niya.

"What happened, baby?"

Tinuro ko ang TV at ilang segundo bago nag-sink in sa kanya. My heart beats so fast and loud. It's thumping hard as I see Dash balls his fist and weakly sits beside me. Mukha siyang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa. Nakita ko na lang na unti-unting pumatak ang mga luha niya.

I snake my arms around his broad shoulders. Ayokong makita siyang ganito pero hindi ko alam ang gagawin. I don't know exactly what to feel. I don't know whether to believe it or not.

Dazza Serran is already dead.