Twilight of Itaewon | Taekook ✔

32. Dwell on the past

The night seems calm. Just like their breathing. Jeongguk glimpsed at Taehyung who was sleeping soundly. After a lot of bickering with Jimin, Taehyung ended up sleeping on his bed with Jeongguk. From there to now, the younger was trying hard to control his wild thumping heart.

Taehyung was curled into his arms, snuggling closer and inhaling his scent. It was overwhelming for Jeongguk. This was what he dreamt of before. But when it's happening, he was afraid to lose Taehyung. He wanted to stop the time and memorize every bit of the perfect male in his arms. But maybe, it was too much to ask. Because Jeon Jeongguk is not forever here. He's not permanent.

Eyes wide open and staring at the familiar ceiling, Jeongguk remembered the diary. He was scared to look at it for one more time. But like I said, he was devoted his life to do things that are not allowed. Illegal.

Having GangBangtan by his side is the biggest flex in his life, for now. The power of their friendship is incredible. Jeongguk wanted to taste it a bit more and spend more time with them. But, something in the air tells him that he has to leave that wish behind. Maybe for his own good.

Jeongguk fidgeted his fingers nervously. If his time here ends like this, he will return to the old world where there was no Taehyung, Jimin, GangBangtan, and their friendship, their fun, the feeling of family. Boring. Now that he tasted a pinch of how it feels like to be friends with them, Jeongguk was sure, a world without them is nothing but boring. Monochrome and introverted. And Jeongguk hates to admit it.

Shuffling closer to Taehyung, he scanned the elder's face. Even he watched a thousand photos of Taehyung, he can't get enough of this view. His fingers were itching to trace the nose bridge, put a hand over the waist and pull him closer. But Jeongguk stopped. The strawberries invading his head each time when he took a deep breath.

"Taehyungiee hyung..."

Jeongguk whispered. Not to wake up the male but he has something to tell the other face to face when the other was sleeping. Jeongguk wanted to say a lot. But doesn't want Taehyung to listen to him.

"I... I'm here where I don't belong. I'm here next to you, inhaling the air you breathing, I'm here closer to your heartbeat. And I know, it's all wrong. I don't belong here...

I know... My time has come. But can I make a wish to your Youniverse? Please... Please stay with me when I open my eyes tomorrow.

Please light my world with your beautiful smile and soft talks. Please, don't leave me to that dark from where you took me out. Please...

Stay..."

Before he even realized it, hot tears were flowing through his cheeks. He was crying his heart out. If this, whatever in front of him is true, then Jeongguk wants this forever. It sure feels like a dream. All too bright and hard to believe. But this is it. Maybe he was just blessed.

Jeongguk was pleading. He knows it. But he couldn't help but let all of that agony out from his heart. He wasn't even wiping his tears. Why would he? It's his life. He should be real, right?

There's a pang in his chest like his ribcages breaking and the bones digging into his veins and blood pumping out of his body. He was terrified. Not alive. When pleading Taehyung to stay, he knows it's another fantasy. A myth his head and heart were creating. He knows that will never happen. Taehyung will never stay in his arms.

After all, Jeongguk is not a favorite one of the universe.

He closed his eyes, crying to sleep. The slow and steady heartbeats lulling him. He felt like he was having the best sleep. The feeling of being in his safe place.

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The daylight touched his disheveled hair, caressing his face squished in his palms, waking him up from the deep sleep. He shudders when the wind chimes hanging on the balcony ring in his ears. Sure, his sleep is gone. Squirming and rubbing his eyes, he stretched his arms and watched the sunlight around him.

The sleep on the bean bag was surprisingly comfortable. He plopped again just to recall what happened in his life. Did he lose a day? Did his time here reduce? What happened with him? Did his past change? Or was that his future? What about his present? Was that all a---

Wait, leave it all behind. All he got now is this moment. When he opens his eyes and looks around, he can see he was sitting at 221, solving the case of Kim Taehyung's suicide while reading his diary secretly. And he was relieved that he got his present. Jeon Jeongguk was happy that he got his life back. Old, messy, broken but beautiful.

Maybe a meteor blessed him. Maybe a fairy or an angel. Maybe that's how he met them, spend time with them, and had been one of them. It was a good time. Very good time actually. But he was sure about it like always, he doesn't belong there. They don't belong here, where he is.

It all sorted now though. He's back. Back with his messy life. Back with his disastrous cases. This is how his life is. This is better. This is what he deserves. The chaos. He's content with that.

Getting up from the bean bag and taking the diary from the floor, Jeongguk walked inside. Placing the diary inside safely, he walked out of 221. There was a small smile on his lips and charm around his heart. He wanted to protect it at all costs. He was going to do that.

There was a small voice in his head, calling him, searching for him. Discarding all of those, Jeongguk decided to go home. His home. He remembered Jennie and dialed her number. Talking to her made him a little light by heart. She reminds him where he is. Where he should be.

It accelerated fast that one night he was confronting a dirty truth another night he was back to square one, to complete the irony going on in his life. Jeongguk made a cup of coffee and decided to get ready for his day. He called his assistants and talked about their new case. A brand new day with new hope and a new smile. Life goes on.

What is that BTS song which gives you that feeling that you don't know how to express other than putting it on loop??

For me, it's Spring Day!

Take care...

~AnecdotesOfABroken