Beautiful and Broken

9.

The knock on my door woke me from a superficial slumber, which was the only way to pass my time after making good use of that common shower. After my answer, a bright smile appeared at my door, worn by a slender young man.

"Finally someone is smiling here. I'm Altair of Atlantis, genuinely pleased to meet you."

"Fedyor Kaminsky, at your service. Atlantis? It's shameful but I have never heard of your land."

"Does it make you feel better that Aleksander hasn't heard of it either?" I've noticed how he flinched when I mentioned Aleksander. "It's very far to the south from you."

"South? So it's warm there? Do you have beaches? And monkeys? And camels?" Fedyor bombarded me with questions while leading me to the mess hall, his unveiled curiosity as pure as a child's.

"Monkeys, yes, though I wish we hadn't, nasty little creatures, they steal your food and shit in your shoes. No camels, unfortunately. But lots of beaches. Oh, I do miss the beaches."

"And are you a Grisha, too?"

"We call ourselves witches and wizards, but yeah, I am like you."

"So are you here to fight with the General?"

"Fight? Against whom exactly?" This was his first question that threw me out of balance.

"There's a rumour we find and capture the Sun Summoner, and then we march on the capital and banish the king."

"A civil war? Are you really excited about fighting against your own people?"

For a moment, his cheerful demeanour darkened. I almost felt sorry for causing it.

"No, I'm not. I hope the First Army surrenders and the king leaves of his own will. They say he's a coward anyway. But let's not talk serious matters. Come, it's pirogi night at the chow hall. Have you eaten pirogi? You'll love it. It's the best Ravkan food."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The mess hall was almost as big as the hangar we've first entered, big enough for hundreds of Grisha, though only half of it was full right now. I had no idea where I was supposed to sit, but Fedyor patted the chair next to him. By the time we had our share of pirogi, he was in the middle of explaining me how the order of Grisha worked, which group did what and also what did the different colours of kefta mean.

"So I wear red because I'm a Heartrender. I stop your heart if I want to. I belong to the Corporalki, together with the Healers, that's self-explanatory I guess, and nowadays we have Tailors, too, it's really weird, because they..."

I wondered why he stopped so abruptly, only to turn and to see Aleksander standing at my back. In fact, all discussions at the table ceased.

"Altair. I was looking for you, seems like you've made new friends. Fedyor, my I steal her for a moment?" Aleksander's tone was cheerful, but even so none of the Grisha at the table relaxed.

"S-sure", muttered Fedyor.

"Walk with me", said Aleksander, so close to me that only I could hear. I quickly waved to Fedyor and mouthed See you later. He didn't answer.

"They're terrified of you", I observed. "This is the way you prefer your army?"

"A half a day, and you already voice your objections, Altair."

"I'm not your soldier. You'll get no Yes Sir, No Sir from me. But stop avoiding the subject. Do you like them to be this afraid?"

"I've never meant it this way. And it wasn't like this before. But they've heard of the nichevoya..."

"Of what?"

"This is how they call my shadow soldiers. Creating them is merzost, it's forbidden, I assume this is why they act more shy than usual."

We walked up to the uppermost level of the base, down a corridor, and up another set of stairs. They led to a single door, an elegant symbol of the Moon eclipse on it. Behind it was a room much more spacious than the chambers I was given, with another two doors opening from it. It also had much more comfort than the rest of the base, the walls covered in dark grey tapestry, the furniture made of wood instead of the army-issue metal I've seen elsewhere.

"I wanted to show you my private library. There is also a public one for your everyday reading, but I keep the more sensitive materials here."

His personal chambers, then. It figures, with all the luxury. It dawned on me that this was the first time that I was alone with him in an enclosed space. His presence seemed to fill the room, eliciting an awareness which I wouldn't have called unpleasant. He took some old-looking volumes from a shelf filled with books, and placed them on the table facing me.

"These might be of interest. Morozova's journals. You may study them whenever you please, though I ask you not to remove them from this room. You can just read them here. You won't be bothering, I basically only come here to sleep."

"Morozova? I believe you mentioned him before."

"Only the most powerful Grisha in history. He created the three amplifiers, hidden in the form of legendary creatures."

The one of which he gave to the Sun Summoner. But I didn't feel like spoiling the mood by mentioning that.

"Of course, you may also look at anything else", he pointed to the bookshelf. "There are several rare volumes on the history of the Grisha."

He circled the table, stopping at my side. I instinctively turned to be facing him.

"The only thing I ask in return is for you to teach me some of your magic."

"Aleksander, I might try, but it may not work at all. The magic of your land is so very different..."

He took a step towards me, briefly touching my shoulder with his long fingers. "Trying is the least I require of you." The bastard was playing at how attractive he was. Did he think this was my first time dealing with a handsome man? I locked my gaze into his, unflinching.

"Fine." I've produced the most neutral academic tone I was capable of. "When do you wish to start?"

"Now would be a good time."

"We better go outside then, it's easier at first under the open sky."

He opened a third door which I haven't observed before, perfectly camouflaged with tapestry. It opened to a narrow corridor, followed by yet another set of stairs, this one leading to a sturdy metal door only equipped with an opening mechanism on the inside. We stepped out on a cliff, a miriad of stars and a full moon shining above us. The view was breathtaking: on one side, endless hills covered with pine forests stretching in the distance, on the other, mountain peaks covered with snow, reflecting the moonlight with an eerie glow. I took a deep breath.

"The exercise we all begin our training with as mages in Atlantis is as follows. Take up a comfortable position, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing until it stills. Observe the earth below you, the wind on your skin, the vastness of the sky above."

"Come on, this is for children. Get to advanced level."

"You want to do this, we do it my way or not at all. Your choice."

He frowned, then sat down cross-legged and closed his eyes. This was going to be a long evening.