Beautiful and Broken

20.

"No." I stepped towards him, raising my power, turning it against the nichevoya, shattering them to pieces, hurling them back to the nothing they came from. "Nobody will be captured, and nobody else gets hurt tonight." Aleksander fought back, sending a wall of shadows my way. It never reached me, breaking apart at the shield I've raised. He didn't relent. I didn't, either. I've felt the dark presence roaring at me without a sound. I roared back, sending another surge of my power its way. We were at a standstill. I wished I could see his face in the distance. 

"Checkmate, Aleksander Morozova," I've called out to him. I felt a flickering in his power, betraying his surprise before he answered. "Call it a truce, Altair of Atlantis." He reeled back his shadows. I let my shield down. He was smiling. It made me freeze, but only for a moment. 

"Your highness," I addressed the one I've only known as Sturmhond before. "Prince Nikolai. Pleased to meet you again?" he answered. "Altair of Atlantis. The pleasure is mine." I've even bowed slightly, and I could tell he was amused. "Alina needs to get to the infirmary, and I think the rest of us are in desperate need of a bath and some sleep. And afterwards, when Alina gets better, I would like to request an audience with you, and her, and also Aleksander. There is something I think all of you will want to hear." He looked at me with surprise. "This is the strangest way anyone has requested an audience from me, ever. But granted? I think."

I've looked at Aleksander for one more time, watching me, still smiling. I suddenly became aware of not sleeping for two nights, and wielding the heaviest amount of magic since I was born, and the emptiness gaping inside me. I've achieved what I wanted, but I didn't feel victorious in the slightest bit. I walked out of the chapel, looking for a place I could fall to pieces without being disturbed, but I've heard footsteps behind me, and I knew it was him without looking. Seemed like he wanted another round of this, in spite of everything. He called my name, and I turned to face him.

"You've hidden it from me, the extent of what you're capable of." There was no accusation in his voice, just a neutral statement, still I was bracing myself for worse.

"There wasn't any occasion so far." There was still blood under his nose, I've felt an urge to wipe it off. I wanted to be able to stop loving him, as of right now. It hurt way too much. He took a step towards me, then another. I needed to force myself not to back away.

"I was a fool to think that one door could hold you. But maybe that was your intention, making me underestimate you?"

"Well sorry for raining on your parade. There are more important things at stake."

"Please do enlighten me, what was so important that warranted you stopping me?"

He was pissing me off, and for once, I welcomed the feeling, it was giving me some much needed strength. "Stopping you from being killed and taking Alina with you? Only the fate of this land and all magic in it." He was looking at me expectantly. "I was telling you before that there was something wrong with the magic in Ravka, and now I've finally figured it out, along with the solution. The main thing is, both of you are needed for it, so unfortunately you will need to stop trying to kill each other."

"I wasn't trying to kill her," he objected. I ignored him. "It's all connected, the merzost, the way you can't learn to wield magic the way I do, Morozova, the Fold, everything. And the two of you will have to work together to balance it out. Because if you don't, soon all there is left of Ravka will be just darkness filled with volcra." There was a grave look in his eyes I couldn't place. "I know you have a... conflicted relationship with Alina, but..."

"Alina?" he interrupted, laughing. "Don't worry about Alina. It all doesn't matter. All that matters right now is you." When he kissed me, it took me so much at a surprise, I simply froze for a moment, before my body started answering, my lips parting to his, my hands reaching for him. He stopped, his long fingers still touching my face. "Altair, you know all of me, you've seen me at my worst, and you haven't turned away," he whispered, and kissed me again, with an insatiable hunger.

His fingers trailed down from my face toward my neck, down my back, stopping at my hips, pulling me close, almost crushing me. I leaned into him, craving his touch with every inch of my skin, my fingers running through his silky black hair, digging into his back. I don't understand how we managed to untangle our bodies and get to a room, but eventually we did, him leading me through a side door of the palace up a set of stairs, through a narrow corridor, through another door, and as soon as it shut behind us, he slammed me against it with all of his weight, leaving me breathless. 

He reached for my thighs, lifting them around him, me arching my hips to press them against his, my hands around his neck, his lips touching my earlobe, making me moan. I started unbuttoning his black shirt, pressing my lips to his skin, a slight shiver passing through him, and then he was lifting me and taking me to the bed, tearing my clothes from me, kissing me here and there in the process, my skin burning under his lips. I pressed my palm against his chest, stopping him for a moment, to take it all in: him leaning over me, his grey eyes clouded with desire, the arch of his shoulders rising and falling with every deep breath he took, every line of his body a work of art. Beautiful. Broken. Mine. And then I moved my hips, letting him plunge me into the deepest darkness.

There was light in the darkness, small explosions inside my body, sending bursts of colour behind my closed eyelids.

The grey light seeping through the curtains might have been dusk or dawn – either way, it didn't matter. He stirred next to me, reaching for me with eyes still closed, pulling me on top of him.