Beautiful and Broken

17.

I knew better than to stay alone with my thoughts that evening, so I made use of my knowledge of the location of the pirates' stack of vodka. Grabbing hold of a bottle and two glasses, I set out to find Genya. But when she looked at me, she was nothing of her usual self. "Not tonight, Altair." I wasn't about to give up so easily. "By the looks of you, tonight is when you need this the most," I've told her holding out the bottle. "What's wrong, Genya?"

"He told me I will be punished for treason after we get back to Fjerda."

There was no need to tell me who she was talking about. "And so what, you'll clean toilets for a week." Her beautiful face darkened. "You know him, Altair." It was a bad joke, I apologised for it. She told me of the moment when in the midst of the pirates and the Grisha fighting each other, she found herself in front of Alina, with a gun in her hand, unable to shoot it. The General saw it all, ordered her to shoot, but she didn't. She let her go.

"You only did the right thing, Genya. But why didn't you just run away with them?"

"I couldn't. You don't know what he did for me. You don't know how he brought me to Os Alta, how he helped me every step of the way. Everyone else, even the other Grisha, regarded me as an anomaly. He made me become proud of what I am." She regarded me with an iron will in her gentle verdant eyes. "I will face my punishment." I threw my arms around her.

She was locked in a cell as soon as we arrived at the base, and no one was allowed to see her. I was convinced that solitary confinement was the whole of her punishment, but it turned out I could still be naive. When Fedyor rushed to me terrified, I immediately knew.

"What did he do to her?" I've asked, before he could open his mouth.

"He unleashed the nichevoya on her. They say it's horrific. She's at the infirmary. They let nobody in."

I ran so hard, I was out of breath by I arrived at the infirmary. I immediately knew where to look for her, as there was only one door with guards in front of it.

"I'm here to see Genya," I've announced panting.

"No one can enter, General's orders."

"Well should I ask Aleksander to come down here and order you to let me in?" My bluffing worked, they opened the door for me. She was lying face to the wall, huddled in a blanket, only the strands of her hair peeking out. I set down on the edge of her bed, gently caressing her shoulder. She flinched. "Go away," she muttered. "Not going to happen. What has he done to you?" A faint sob came instead of an answer. 

I sat still, my hand still touching her shoulder. Eventually she turned to me, and I had to reach for every fragment of my self-restraint to keep my expression calm. She lost one eye, and all of her beauty. None of her features remained the same, deep scars twisting her face into an unnatural mask, scars that none of the healers could banish. I've cried with her until none of us had any tears left.

"I'm busy," said Aleksander when I entered his room. "Well stop being busy," I spat at him, slamming my palms on his desk. "How could you?"

"I assume you bullied my guards into letting you see Genya." He was mocking me with his calm. Or perhaps he really didn't care.

"You've maimed her! For not killing her friend!"

"Don't they punish traitors in Atlantis?"

"After a fair trial, between the limits of the law, and considering any extenuating circumstances," I've growled.

"This is an army. Under martial law, the penalty for treason is death. You may as well consider me merciful."

"Bullshit. I can only consider you cruel."

"I've trusted her. I've put her in command. She betrayed my trust. What would you have done in my place?"

"I'm not clawing out your eyes right now, am I? Although thinking like you, I might as well be doing that for what you did to her."

He didn't answer, regarding me with the same calm. It was clear that anything I've said to him was in vain. The sole notion of forgiveness eluded him, probably because he was never shown any. I've turned my back on him, and didn't even bother slamming the door this time.