Beautiful and Broken

14.

A whaler expected us in a small port not far from the Fjerdan capital. I wasn't more knowledgeable in ships than I was in horses, but even I could tell by afar that this one wasn't considered a piece of art. Still, it seemed sturdy enough to weather a storm. It also reeked – it turned out that whale hunting had its own particular bouquet. One thing I've learned during my weeks long journey to Ravka was that being at sea meant endless waiting at best, bad food and bad company at its worst. 

Fortunately, this turned out to be one of the better journeys, where our biggest problem was how to keep ourselves busy. We watched how the captain named Sturmhond – a redhead with a crooked nose and a big mouth – ordered his crew around, a sense of camaraderie and loyalty between them imminent even through the unparalleled amount of curses they threw at each other. All of them suspiciously resembled pirates, even though the captain presented himself as a privateer, but obviously all of us knew better than to ask.

Our other favourite pastime became avoiding Aleksander as much as possible. He paced from one end of the deck to another like a caged tiger, with a haunted look in his eyes, and it seemed that the only thing anyone could do that didn't elicit a burst of anger from him was to cease existing. In a few days, we were experts in occupying the most obscure nooks and crannies of the whaler, and not bothering to climb out until we were hungry or needed to pee. All of them except poor Ivan and Genya, who were regularly summoned for some exceptionally important briefing, which usually only meant that the General was in need of someone to shout at.

I didn't go with them when they went to shore to capture Alina in Novyi Zem- it was my stern resolve to remain as useless to this mission as possible, which didn't go down well with Aleksander. Somewhere along the way he convinced himself that I was on his side, and didn't like being reminded of the opposite. "I'm a foreigner in these lands, and the Council has really serious rules against participating in any criminal activity or taking sides in any civil unrest," I was explaining to him. "To the hell with you council," he hissed at me. "How far is Atlantis from here? A month's journey? Stop making up stupid excuses and start making yourself useful."

"I would object to this even if it was all in accordance with the laws."

"And may I inquire about your reasons?" He slightly tilted his chin. I was in for a ride.

"I'm a strong advocate of picking on someone your own size. And I don't see how you will ever make her help you by bullying her into it. Or are you trying to bribe her with a second amplifier you force on her?"

"Your objections are duly noted. Now, as I said, go make yourself useful," he sneered at me.

"As I said, I don't want any part of it. This is desperate and stupid, and you know it."

"Nobody is allowed to talk to me like this!" Did he really just utter the favourite words of every spoiled child and obtuse tyrant?

"You're clearly in need of someone talking to you like this, and it might as well be me, in lack of other contenders!" I might have raised my voice, because by the time I walked out of the captain's berth temporarily serving as his quarters, I saw several figures quickly disappear behind various objects. I was careful to slam the door with the loudest bang I could muster.