We'll Be Okay (MCR x Reader)

Why?

A/N

So I've been struggling on what to do for this chapter for a while now. It's not gonna be as long as most because I don't have a full concept planned out. I'm just gonna wing it and hope it doesn't completely fucking suck. Time to pull a BB-8 and just roll with it.

ON WITH THE SHIT SHOW!

Y/N POV

It was almost midnight when Gerard and I finished the movie we were watching. I shut the tv off and walked upstairs to my room, with him following behind me. We had changed into our pajamas hours ago, so we climbed into my bed as soon as we entered my room.

This was usual for us, and probably why everyone thinks I've slept with all of them. Whoever came over slept in bed with me. Obviously if everyone was over, we'd sleep in the living room. Tonight though, it was just Gee and I. The others had to go home today, but Gerard managed to talk his mom into staying here again. Mikey had a project to finish, I guess. At least that's what I was told. 

Gerard wrapped his arms around my body as I laid my head on his chest. I wasn't feeling any better from yesterday's situation, I actually felt worse. I'd never tell them that though, I didn't want them to think they're bad friends or some shit for not being able to cheer me up.

"Can I ask why?" Gerard questioned as he held me. I was thankful he stayed, but I didn't quite know how to answer his question.

"It's complicated." I sighed as I nuzzled into his shirt. 

What am I supposed to tell him? That I'm dating Frank but also in love with him, his brother, and Ray? That wouldn't just break him, that would break all of them. I don't want anyone to get hurt. Especially if it's because of me and my fucked up feelings.

"I'm sure I can handle it, Y/N." He held me closer to him as silent tears ran down my face, dampening his shirt. I was a mess, this whole situation is a mess.

"It's hard to explain, Gee." I mumbled. 

He let go of me and slid his hands up to my face instead. He tilted my head up so he could actually look at me; I don't know if it was to read me or to show he's being serious, maybe both. Before replying, he wiped the tears off my face and smiled sadly.

"You know I won't judge you, right? No matter what it is." He whispered. The smell of coffee and cigarettes filled the air between us, and I got extremely nervous as I realized how close we truly were.

"Are you sure you want to know? There's no going back after it." I gulped. He only nodded in response, so I took a deep breath to try to calm myself before explaining.

"I'm a piece of shit," I chuckled dryly, "I- I'm dating Frank in secret, but I'm in love with all of you. He knows this, he understands it and says it's okay, but everything about it feels wrong. Being absolutely in love with your four best friends? That's just not something you hear about every-"

I was cut off by a pair of soft lips crashing into mine. I was surprised at first, but gave in quickly. The kiss was needy, like he's been wanting to do it for a long time now, but it was also gentle. Almost as if kissing me too hard would shatter me.

"You know polyamorous relationships are a thing, right?" He smirked, breathless from what just happened.

"But I don't know how everyone else would feel about that," I pouted, "or what people would think."

"First of all, fuck what people think," he paused, "and second, we can talk to them? Frank first, probably."

"What if they hate me?" My lip began quivering at the thought of losing any of them. Was this right? Will this fuck everything up?

"I don't think any of us could ever hate you, trust me." He smiled.

"But what if-"

"No, stop it. You're overthinking again, Y/N. No one is going to hate you, no matter what the outcome of this is." He reassured me. I sighed heavily as I leaned my head back onto his chest, comforted by the warmth radiating off of him and the sound of his heartbeat. 

I wanted this, always, with everyone. Knowing they wanted it as well pained me. I can't choose one of them when I love them all equally. It wouldn't be fair to them. That's why hiding mine and Frank's relationship felt so wrong, because I felt like I was choosing him over everyone else when that isn't true, he's just who happened to accept everything first.

I was thankful he wasn't worried about it, and I'm happy Gerard feels the same as Frank does. But what about Mikey and Ray? What if they can't handle this, or don't want to? Will they leave? Will it ruin our friendship? 

"I know you're still in your head. Don't worry about it, okay? Everything will work out in one way or another." He whispered into my hair, kissing my head directly after. "Don't hate yourself for what you feel."

"Easier said than done."