The Mistress

Chapter 21. Within the Night

21.

1494, Rome Italy

"No it can't be!" I started pacing back and forth. This is bad, very very bad.
"Please sit down my lady." Gabrielle advises.
"I can't! Do you not understand!" I start rubbing my head. My hand were trembling and my body turned cold. "Cesare doesn't want a bastard child, He will kill it!" I exclaim.
"What makes you say that?"
"There were rumors that he once had a child a few years ago and he left it for dead on the side of the road. The child hasn't been seen since." I stop and stare down at my flat stomach. There can't be a baby in there I thought. Cesare is a bastard and he hates that about himself so he wouldn't want a child like that. "He can't find out about this Gabrielle." I rush over to her, I need her help.
"But my lady, your belly will start to swell."
"Then I need to leave, just until the baby is born and I figure out what to do with it."
"What to do with it?" She repeated. "You don't mean-"
"No! I meant find it a family or something because I know for sure I can't keep it."
"Where will you go?" I take her hands.
"Do you know of anywhere I could go?" I ask and she looks down at her feet to think.
"Well..." She trailed off.
"Well what?"
"My family has a small villa not to far from here, it's not much but-"
"Will you take me there?" I could feel my grip getting tighter on her hands. "Please? I can't stay here."
"I will need some time to get the place prepared."
"That's fine, do whatever you need to do, just do it fast please."
"Of course."
"Go now, get everything ready and if you need anything just let me know. And when Micheletto returns tell him I want to see him in private. Got it?"
"Yes."
"Thank you Gabrielle" She left the room and I sat down on my bed. As if I didn't have enough to worry about but now I am with child. Not that I don't want children, I do but who knows how Cesare will react. I don't want him to make me terminate this pregnancy and I don't want him to leave the child on the side of the road or dump it into the Tiber. I do not need to ask him to know that he doesn't want a bastard child. Cesare and I are both bastards and because of that we know what it's like to miss out on part of our life because of who are parents are. I just wanted to be away from Cesare during this pregnancy so he can't do anything to harm the child. But Cesare would not just let me go, not after what happened. I just want to find this baby a good home then I will come back. Not everyone will want a bastard child but someone might.

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The next few days my nausea didn't stop, it was almost every morning but Cesare was never around to see it. He could pick up on it and know something was up. I have to hide it until Gabrielle is ready to take me away from here. Sometimes I thought it was wrong but it all made sense once Gabrielle said it out loud. But still I wished it was wrong and it my heart I knew it was true. The month was near its end and yet I have not bled. With no fever it was the only thing that would explain my nausea. Gabrielle said I was lucky in that the nausea and vomiting was only in the morning. She said her mother was sick at all hours of the day without fail. It was good news that it wasn't the case for me. Any more vomit came out then I was sure my insides would come with it.
"He's here." Gabrielle pokes her head in the door.
"Who's here?" I ask. I had been sitting in my room alone as usual. But now my panic was even worse as I had just another thing to worry about.
"Micheletto" She answered.
"Please bring him in." My mind has been in so many other places that I forgot that I asked him to come.
He came in and closed the door behind him. I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say.
"I need your help." I just blurt out. I will not go anywhere without someone to protect me. It is clear that I am wanted by someone for some reason and Micheletto was ordered by the Holy Father to protect me. It seemed as though whoever wanted me was having me followed. How else would they have found me traveling, or known I had gone out with Cesare? Whatever I was doing had to be in secret.
"With?" He says when I don't finish.
"I am with child." I finally say. "I am leaving, at least until the baby is born."
"Did you tell Cesare?" He walks over closer to me as if he wanted to take my hand but he didn't.
"No, you and I both know what he is capable of" I take a deep breath. "I can't. Please just help me!" I beg grabbing his arms.
"What do you need?" I breath a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank you Micheletto!" I rejoiced and gave him an unwanted hug. "Gabrielle is going to help me leave Rome but I want you to come with me."
"Why?"
"Because the Holy Father has commanded that you protect me and you can't to that if you're in Rome and I'm somewhere else." I take his hands and hold them close to my heart. "Look someone is after me, I don't who exactly who it is or why they want me but I'm scared and I need you." I look up into his dark brown eyes.
"Alright, I'll go with you. But I doubt Cesare won't look for you."
"Oh I know he will. I just need to stay hidden long enough to find the child a good home."
"What will you tell him when he finds you or when you return."
"I don't know but I have months to think about it." I let go of his hands and immediately hug him once again. "Thank you." I squeezed him so tight and didn't want to let go.
"When are you leaving?"
"Whenever Gabrielle gives me the word."
"And when she does give you the word who will you take with you? Lena you have never lived without servants and I doubt Gabrielle will be enough. You at least need a midwife, have you even thought of these things?"
"No." I admit. "That's why I need your help, find Gabrielle and tell her what I need." I look at him and wait for an answer, he looked like he was thinking about whether he would do it or not. "Please!" I beg. "You said you would help."
"Alright, Alright. You just worry about keeping yourself healthy, we will take care of the rest." I smile at him but he doesn't smile back. Micheletto was never one to smile very much but I will make him know how grateful I am for him helping me.
I watch him walk to my door to leave and as is reaching for the door knob I say "Thank you." one last time before he leaves.

Like usual I stayed in my room, pacing, laying down, reading. It was like being in a cage that I put myself it. I could very well leave because I have Micheletto who now watches over me. But I have now become accustomed to staying in here even though I will be leaving soon.
I sat on the balcony, lounging, wrapped in blankets and drinking a small cup of tea. I didn't need to see down in the courtyard to know that Juan was down their practicing his sword fighting. He was loud with his grunting and yelling, it was quite annoying really.
"Lena." I heard Gabrielle whispered from behind me.
"Oh." I sit up and swing my legs off the chair. "Come sit." She sits in the chair adjacent from me. "Any progress?"
"Yes. I talked to my papa about the condition the villa was in."
"And?"
"He said it should suffice, that he has people there that maintain the villa while no one is there."
"Did you tell him about me?"
"No, not at all. I just said It was for a friend in need."
"Did Micheletto talk to you?"
"Yes and I am certain we can get a midwife when we arrive. Micheletto has already gotten you a small staff."
"That was quick."
"He is very intimidating."
"Where is this place?"
"Not far. It's in a small town maybe a day's journey from here."
"When can we leave?"
"Tonight if you wish."
"Great!" I reach over and grab her hands. "Thank you so much. You did this for me when you didn't have to and it was fast too, I might add."
"You're welcome. I've learned over the years that women have to stick together." I jump over to her seat and embrace her.
"Get Micheletto to have horses ready tonight."
"Okay." She gets up. "We'll be waiting for you."
"Thank you again Gabrielle." She nods her head before leaving me on the balcony alone. She was quick with my request, I like it. Leaving here didn't seem like that big of a deal to me, the only thing I was worried about someone finding me. Someone was after me for a reason and even though I don't know who or for what, I don't exactly want to find out. This has something to do with my father, it has to. How else would I explain the fact that he left me right before disappearing, he sends weird things to me and I'm being hunted down like an animal. My father sent me here to be safe but as anyone can see that I'm not safe. I have people after me, ready to kill me or capture me and I have Juan harassing me every time I walk out of my room so it might have been better for me to have gone with my father.

Cesare was in a deep sleep, his light snoring gave him away. I was laying in bed with my back facing him, my heart was racing because I had to get up in any moment and leave him. What if he would hear me and wake up? What would I tell him? I could say that I'm going for a walk but he knows I would never do that. Any scenario that I come up with has him convincing me to go back to bed. I don't want to be a coward, I am scared to leave but I know I have to. I'm so sick of being scared. I'm to scared to leave my room because of Juan, too scared to leave the Vatican because of being hunted down and scared for my baby because of what Cesare might do.
I moved so slow that it felt like I was barely moving at all. My bare feet touched down on the cold stone floor and I felt Cesare move next to me. My heart started beating out of my chest, I could almost hear it. I sat there frozen as he settled back into bed. He was just readjusting himself I thought.
I kept moving slow so that he couldn't hear me. I got down on my knees and grabbed out a bag that I stuffed under there earlier. I quickly grabbed it and hoped it didn't make a noise. My head peaked out from behind the bed to see his Cesare had been disturbed by my noise, he hadn't. I grabbed a cloak and quickly left the room.
The Vatican was so quiet at night, just a few stray servants walking around. Servants talk though and if anyone was going to tell Cesare about me leaving and who I left with it would be them. It wouldn't take him long to figure out that I am going and not planning on returning for quite some time. That is why the more space I put between myself and the Vatican is better, the harder it is to find me.
"Wait a moment." I said when I stepped outside. "What about my things?"
"I had your belongings sent earlier." Gabrielle informed me. "So they would be there when we arrive."
"Thank you." I mount my horse and get myself situated in my saddle.
"What is in that bag?" Micheletto pointed to the bag in my hand.
"Some personal things."
"Are you scared?" He seemed genuinely concerned.
"Very."

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Kind of short. But I'm excited that the semester is over so I have more time to work on my stories. There are many more updates to come. I hope you all enjoy!

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