The Mistress

Chapter 18. Beautiful Prison

18

1493 Rome Italy

Leonardo rolled out a piece of parchment with just a few words scribbled on it.
What you never see, but others see daily.
That's it? Not only did it sound stupid but it made no sense. I stared down at the words and I no idea what it meant. "Out of all those numbers that is all you got? A stupid riddle!" I could feel myself getting more and more angry but not at Leonardo, at my father. Why would he do this? Why can't he just tell me what is going on? I would die for him and he has me hiding in the dark.
"Most of the numbers led me to gibberish and for a while I thought there was something to them but there wasn't. I finally was able to get it." I pace in the room.
"Do you know what it means?" I ask.
"No, I was hoping you did." I start shaking my head and crying. I thought this would be it, that when I found out what this said I would go and find my father but no! This is just leading me to more and that's not what I want! I want my father back! Not having him hold me when I am scared or make me smile when I was down is the worst feeling in the world. It makes my stomach ache and my head hurt. I love being here with Cesare but I would much rather be home.
"You are welcome to stay in the Vatican for as long as you like but right now I just need to be alone. My guards can show you to your room."
"Of course."
"Thank you Leonardo."
"Any thing for you La Bella." He opens the door and leaves. I quickly get up and hide the papers with the other things from my father. I never thought I had been so angry in my life. This was not over but I wanted it to be. I close the closet door and start to cry as my fist banged up against the wood I want my old life back so much. The way it was when I was a child and I didn't have to worry about such things like this. I thought living in the Vatican would be great, like living like a royal. But I never thought it would be so lonely and so full of sadness.
I crawl back into bed and curl up in the sheets. I wanted to stop crying but I could not. I took the extra pillow next to me and clutched it to my breast. Wishing he was here now to soothe my tears. I haven't seen him in over a year, that may not seem like much but he was my whole world.
"Hey" I heard Cesare in my sleep. "Wake up." He says again and that's when my eyes force themselves open. My eyelids were sticky because of my tears. After rubbing my eyes they focused on Cesare who was kneeled down next to my bed. Personally I still wanted to be asleep as I would not have my father constantly on my mind.
"Hmm?" I yawn and it was so deep I swear my jaw unhinged.
"Have you been crying my love?" He moves stray hairs from my face and I shake my head. It was probably obvious especially since my hair was stuck to my face because of the sticky dry tears. "Your eyes are red and puffy." He smiled as he wasn't fooled by my obvious lie.
"I'm fine." My voice sounds raspy. I sit up in my bed and push back my sticky hair. I need to bathe I thought. "You are still in your clothes from yesterday." I point out as if he doesn't already know. But it was a way to change the subject to him rather than myself. If he kept prying I would probably cry again.
"I know" He looks down at his clothes. "I have to go back to Pesaro."
"To get Lucrezia? To bring her home?"
"No." he takes a deep breath. "Unfortunately, no. Father ordered that she go back to her husband in Pesaro. But I am going to have Micheletto stay with her so nothing can happen."
"That's not enough, we have to do something."
"Relax, I will handle everything." He kissed me on the mouth. "I will be home soon, my love."
"Good bye." He left me in my room and I just went back to sleep.

I hated this life I had been thrown into. It is not only boring, it is depressing and I am sick of it. I'm happy to be back with Cesare but it cost me my father. I feel as though I am going to waste away in the Vatican before I ever figure out what happened to my father.

When I finally decided to leave my room it was night time. I sat on the edge of the fountain in the courtyard. I watched the moon shimmer in the water, then just with a flick of my finger the water rippled through the fountain. I was in the most beautiful place in the world and I was unhappy, and this will continue until my father comes home.
I felt a tap on my shoulder but I didn't need to turn around to see who it was, I saw their reflection in the water. It was Giulia.
"Hm?" I look up at her and see her smiling down at me. But I and sure my face wasn't as pleasant as hers. This whole time while sitting here I tried to not focus on my reflection. It was a disappointment every time I saw it. I don't remember my face being this tired but it surely was. I had the luxury of not having to see my face all the time, and at times I forgot what I looked like.
"The holy father and I are about to go eat, would you care to join us?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you."
"You know where to find us if you change your mind" She left me sitting alone. Even if I would have gone with them I still would have been a lonely as ever. I know they see how miserable I am but they can't do anything no matter how hard they try. No one is going to bring my father back and the fact that he is leaving me clues as to what's going on means that only I can find him. I have to figure out what that stupid message means.

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I apologize for taking so long to update and that it is a short update. School and work has kept me busy, as usual. I am trying my best to keep up with updates.

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