oneshots of cursed tpoath ships

Igneous x Hazel (save me, i can never escape)

Just a bit of context, I wrote this fanfiction specifically to spite Eclipse and it worked. I wrote this while on vacation so I couldn't upload it to Wattpad, but I'm home now so everyone can see this monstrosity. I cringed while writing it, I cringed while it was voice acted, and now I cringe remembering this exists. I hope you don't enjoy it one bit.

(art by KayleLH)

***

Even after centuries of being cryogenically frozen, Igneous' heart was never numb. She continued to feel inside that tank that brought isolation. As time passed, the yearning for something special made her heart beat. She was lonely, and she silently pleaded for the loneliness to end. And the only way to make that end was true love.

So when the ice melted, not only was she freed; her heart was freed. Yet there was still a gap. She hadn't found true love.

Until she stumbled into the kingdom of Hazel. It was love at first sight. She wanted to cuddle with her soft, autumn fur.

Entering the throne room, she eyed the tall, lanky feline. She detected his sus vibes, but she didn't let them stop her. She stared into her deep, blue eyes and bowed. "Hello, your majesty," she greeted.

"Hello. What is it that you request of me?" Hazel questioned. She stood so poised in her golden throne.

"I request only one thing." She hoped her blonde hair would hide her flushed cheeks. That you go on a date with me."

Hazel widened her eyes. "A date?"

"Yes!" She smiled, her white teeth reflected the beaming light of her excitement. "Only for an hour, my queen. I humbly offer you some dinner in the finest restaurant of your precious kingdom."

"Hm, you have the finance for a night like that?"

"Yes, your majesty," she said, fidgeting with the coins she just so happened to find in a civilian's pockets.

She smiled slightly, seemingly more out of amusement. "I might consider. Meet me at Dapper's Burgers when the sun sets."

"Burgers. You have taste." Igneous smiled again. "Thanks for considering my offer, Queen Hazel."

"Wait." She reached a paw out. "What's your name, civilian?"

Before she exited the throne room, she turned her head and flicked her tail. "Igneous," she answered before she strutted away.

She should be here any minute now, Igneous thought as she patted down the suit she just so conveniently found in a tailor shop.

Igneous gasped. "Oh my."

There was Hazel, covered head to toe in glamour. Her long dress flowed with the light breeze. "I'm here, Igneous."

She took her paw and they went into the restaurant.

After they got their table and ordered food, they began to have a little chat. Igneous started, "So... how are you, your majesty?"

"Ahaha," she chuckled. "You don't have to call me that anymore. Just call me Hazel."

"Oh, ok, Hazel." She blushed, unable to contain her infatuation. "So Hazel, have you ever fallen in love before?"

"Heh, well, I have," she said, "but he isn't relevant to this story so I don't have a dead husband."

Igneous shrugged. "Oh well then, my genocidal tendencies aren't relevant to the story either-"

"What?" she asked.

"What?"

"...Ok." Hazel

They stared into each other's eyes during this awkward silence.

Igneous' mind wandered. Ah, after I get rid of Shard and that creepy purple sack of plums, Hazel and I will stroll into the forest and become hobos forever. Soulmates run away together, don't they? We will have the time of our lives with no responsibilities. It will be perfect. She sighed. I'm so grateful she accepted my offer. I can stare at her until our food comes. Look at her. She's so beautiful, especially for someone her age.

Hazel's mind was also wandering. I can't believe I'm just meeting her. She is a sight to behold. She's my soulmate. I'm so glad I met her. I'm so glad she offered. I'm so glad I'm not a loser anymore now that she has cleared my depression and given me someone to love. Thank goodness.

They both thought at the same time.

I feking love her.

And they drew so close together that they simultaneously leaned in for a kiss.

The rest is history.