Frenzy & Torch

Chapter 1: New Assignment

That goddamn bird again. It didn't come from any other annoying bird, either. It was this particular one that always perched on the tree outside the window and chirped and chirped and chirped. It knew exactly what it was doing.

Inside the nearby cottage, a blonde woman was lying in bed, holding onto the remaining moments of tranquility before facing what the day had in store for her.

Please shut the fuck up.

The bird pressed on with the chirping.

The blonde threw the sheets off her lean frame. The events of last night ran through her head. 

There was plenty of whiskey. Then aggressive sex with a redhead she brought home from the boutique downtown. Before the night even ended, the girl revealed she had a girlfriend and that it was her fourth time cheating on her. Apparently, it was "okay" because the girlfriend knew, and she was cheating, too.

She thanked her drunk self for having enough sense to kick her out and find the bed before falling unconscious—that bird was still chirping. It was chirping, and she was sick of it. She burst the shutters wide open and roared: "Shut the fuck up!"

The bluebird did not appreciate being rudely interrupted by the arrogant biped down below, who was wearing a wrinkled shirt and leaning out of the window. Her frizzled hair looked an absolute mess, dangling loosely in front of her face and accentuating her ocean blue eyes. It whipped its head and responded in kind: "Fuck you, bitch!"

The woman leaned back and slammed the shutters together. There were muffled footsteps, then the sound of objects crashing around as she retrieved something. The front door swung open and out she came, marching barefoot along the grass with an impeccably cleaned and polished longsword. With unyielding rage burning in her eyes, she raised her weapon and slashed the tree clean in half.

The bird fluttered away as his refuge fell. "You are one cold bitch!"

She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. "Easy, Elizabeth. It's only six in the fucking morning."

She retreated into her humble home that she built to escape the noisy and cramped barracks in the nearby city of Nordsten. She decided on toast and bacon for breakfast and went into her pantry. She grabbed a loaf of freshly baked bread and tossed it into the oven. She grabbed the flint and steel from the wall and held it near the bundle of sticks. The first strike was fruitless. The second attempt yielded the same result.

"Come on, you sumbitch," Elizabeth grumbled in the Southern drawl that refused to die.

The third time was the charm. The wood caught the spark and a small flame started.

She grinned and turned away from the stove, went to her meat locker to get beef for the bacon. Upon opening the door, her grin was wiped clean off her face. "Where the fuck is the beef?"

The exact spot where she placed the bundle of meat was empty. She bought it only a couple days ago; there was no way it vanished. Then she heard skittering behind her. She whirled around and found a little green troll with her hard-earned game above his head, trying to make a break for it.

"You fucker!" she yelled. She ran, leapt over the dining table, and tackled the troll just before he could reach the window.

"Let go of me!" the creature screeched. "Let fuggin' go, you fuggin' piece a shit!"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" Elizabeth ripped the meat from his hands and placed a foot on his chest. "Well?? Got anything to say for yourself?"

"Get off me!"

"Do you even know whose fuckin' house this is?"

The troll scanned the room. His eyes locked on the scabbard. Aw, fuck.