Frenzy & Torch

Chapter 13: The Peacekeepers

Xitanker was in a meeting in his palace on Shrikta. At the table sat generals, admirals, and civilian analysts. Mister Whippy Cream Whiz, a yellow humanoid and master mathematician, was typing away on his computer and giving a briefing. The cooperative effort between the Peacekeepers and Shriktan forces to apprehend the girls had been a success.

"The Outer Reach women have been apprehended! Based on the casualties and billions of dollars in damages they have inflicted, they will most definitely have the book thrown at them and have a speedy trial!" said Mr. Whiz.

"What's the likelihood of them being convicted?" Xitanker asked. "I want my mind to be at ease for the next few days."

Mr. Whiz typed numbers into his calculator and performed some high-speed mental math. He got his answer on the little screen. "There is about a 16% chance they are convicted."

" ... Fuck! Get Mr. Peters on the phone right away! And somebody get ahold of General Itshii, too! We're exactly a week away from X-Day and I still haven't heard about any progress from that goddamned laboratory! I want to know the status of that Reanimation Brigade! While you're at it, somebody have my family on one of the phone lines, I want to give them my daily "fuck you"!"

Xitanker stormed out of the room flanked by his personal assistants and a few high-ranking officers. Mr. Whiz typed furiously, then realized his error. "Shit, I had this thing upside down! The answer was actually 91%! Maybe if I tell him now— "

"Actually, this might work in our favor," said an admiral, one of the three-quarters of people that stayed in the room. "That psychotic postal worker always delivers destructive packages for people. If we can frame these women for trying to destroy a Peacekeeping and Police Force station, the entire galaxy will lose any reasonable doubt they might have about their actions. This is the perfect opportunity to test out more of these new weapons systems we've been phasing into service, too!"

"Yes, but what if they slip away in all the chaos? Then we're back to square one!"

"Square one, except the entire galaxy will prioritize their apprehension! They won't have friends to be found in any corner of the galaxy! Come on, everybody, this is a win-win situation!"

A man covered in melted cheese walked into the room speaking in a mixture of Latin and Greek and Cantonese. "I have spoken with the macaroni god. It is time to feast in his honor." He dumped a bucket of boiled macaroni on himself and smeared it all over his body. "Come, children, let us feast."

"Who the fuck is this guy?? Somebody call security and get him out of here!"

"You have displeased the macaroni god. He shall exact his revenge on thou who art insubordinate." He ran down the hallway, pursued by guards with whips.

The admiral huffed. "Okay, now that that's taken care of— "

A call from an unknown number appeared on the screen. Mr. Whiz answered and the next thing everybody saw was a macaroni in a dark room. "You fucked with the wrong guy today, lemme tell you what." Then he ominously disconnected.

" ... What?"

Meanwhile, the gang was transported to Peacekeeping and Police Station 514 on planet Ilona. Jeff and Robert were seated in one half of the central processing area while Elizabeth and Annabelle were in another. It was a sea of desks and computers with chattering personnel.

"Full name please?" the officer at the computer asked the powercuffed sorceress without looking away from the screen.

"Annabelle Idonia Marigni."

"Age?"

"Twenty-one years old."

"Okay ... and for place of birth, ORP-427-b, yes, we got it from the Shriktans, and no, we don't give a fuck about your privacy .... " he typed some more before adding, "you and that blonde lady are a real freak show."