Suns and Shadows

Everything Hidden

The Dark House is a swirl of colors.  It's beautiful, but I can't focus on it. I trail behind Karpov, taking in as much detail as I can. Joshua stays away from Karpov and me, to give us space. Every inch of me wants to get out of this place.

I don't know exactly what the Inferno is. I don't know who exactly Joshua is and why he's the High Commander. I don't know what job they want me to do. I don't know why they've been spying on me my whole life. I don't know why Joshua is the only Sun here.

I just want out. But another part of me, the larger part is curious. I want to know what the High Commander is. I want to know what it has to do with my genetics. I want to know what it has to do with Saiya. I want to know if this is the escape I've been looking for.

The Dark House seems to never end. I try to keep track of it in my head, each hall we turn down, but there are too many twists and turns. Karpov seems to know exactly where he's going. I stare at him with raw anger. 

He lied. He lied to me about why he was at his stand. He lied that he just wanted to help Saiya. It seems as though he just wanted to help the Inferno because they need me for some reason. I wrap my fingers into a fist and continue to walk.

I go up to Karpov. "Why did you lie?" I ask, my voice isn't as neutral as I hoped it would be. It's full of anger, sadness, and...disappointment. I am disappointed in him. I trusted him with Saiya, with her life. I shouldn't have. None of his stupid medicines worked anyway. Did he do that on purpose? To keep me near him-

Karpov gives an annoyed sigh. "It's my job. What else do you want me to do? This is an organization, I don't know everything. Only High Commander does." I can tell he's lying. He hesitated and glanced back at Joshua.

"I'm not doing some dirty work for any organization who won't tell me what's going on." I snap at him. Then I lower my voice. "Did every try to actually fix Saiya? Or did you raise our hopes so we'd keep coming back? Did you plan for me to get arrested?"

"I tried to fix your sister. I looked everywhere. The only thing I didn't tell you was that I originally found you for a job. I didn't have to help you out. That wasn't required." He snaps back. He's angry at me for being mad at him.

But why shouldn't I? He lied to me, to my family. I'm mad at this whole place. My head rings behind his voice. My stomach churns. I feel sickly. And they want me to do some job but they won't tell me who it's for and why I should.

But I glance at him and it melts away the rage. He wants me to believe him. I can see it behind his eyes. "Thank you," I mutter. "You may be a jerk for tricking me, but you're right." I still don't trust this place, but I trust Karpov. Then I clear my throat. "What's wrong with my genetics?"

He stops walking, frozen. "What?"

Maybe, I shouldn't have asked, but I couldn't help myself. "If my genetics are part of the reason that the sedative almost killed me, I want to know why. If you want me to trust you or this place-the Inferno. I need to know that they'll tell me what I need to know."

"This isn't something you need to know."

"It almost killed me! Do you want me to die?"

"No." He whispers. "Look, it's just an allergy. If you want to know more, just read a book about it  in the library it's called Why We Are." Then Karpov stands up and waltzes away from me, his feet quickening pace. 

I'm left with thoughts and questions, each one becoming louder and louder in my head. If it's an allergy why did he look so scared? It's almost like he wasn't supposed to say it. Like he was forbidden too. I glance back at Joshua. I will read this book and find out what it has to do with Saiya.