Suns and Shadows

Hearts and Souls

Rook seems so much different to me at night. The city I grew up in has changed as I look on it with new eyes, trying to remind myself I'd been here the day before. But it feels so unfamiliar to me. Maybe it's because Mother never let me leave the house at night, Rook is too unpredictable of a city.

The moonlight casts a haunting glow onto the building that towers above Joshua and me as he guides me through the streets. We walk in silence. He hasn't talked to me much since I slapped him. I keep telling myself that he deserved it, but as I look at his face with the purple bruise shaped like a hand on his face even I wince.

He is a Sun, all of them deserve it. But he did start the Inferno. He is trying to make it better for Shadows. Even if he did, I can't ignore what I've witnessed my entire life. I can't ignore what his people have done to mine. I am too full of anger. 

"Why are we going tonight?" I ask. "It'd be easier if I could travel during the day."

"You agreed to be a Secretary. They work during the day and-" He taps the star on his forehead. "I have an image to maintain."

That would make sense. I don't know any Sun who isn't rich and prejudiced. Joshua probably has a mother and a father who don't see the same way he does. They are traditionalists and he is a rebel. A Sun rebel.

I turn the block and see my house. It's made of mud, technically. When you leave mud in the sun, it hardens into blocks that you can build. That's what our house is made of. It's small, but average for a Shadow here in Rook. The Suns live in the big buildings that have screens on them.

Mother is just about to collect our clean water rations that sit on the porch step when she sees me. Her mouth opens, but she doesn't say anything. Her eyes are glassy. My heart is racing, I'm seeing her, my mother.

My mother who I thought I'd never see again. I can't take the space any longer between us and I run up at her, forcing her into a crushing embrace. "Ebony, Ebony, Ebony." She says softly. "Oh my child, my darling. Are you really here."

My voice is too heavy to say anything so I just nod into her hair and let my tears fall. She doesn't smell of smoke like normal and I suspect that she hasn't worked. She hasn't been able to because someone must watch Saiya.

"Where's Saiya?" I ask, my voice muffled. 

"Oh of course inside. She'll be happy to see-" Her voice stops as she looks at Joshua. "Who are you?" Her voice changes from soft to accusing in an instant. 

"This is Joshua. He freed me from prison." I lay a hand on my Mother, but she doesn't even look suspicious. Her face breaks into a smile and I am shocked as she sprints forward and hugs him with almost as much force as she did with me.

"Thank you." She says and smiles at him, even when she sees the star on his forehead. My mother is so much braver than I am. Or more stupid. I'm not sure which yet.  Then she turns to me and gives me a smile the kind that quietly intrigues about any sort of boy.

I don't know why she would. I'm not easily trusting, I'm average in looks and I hate nearly everyone. 

When I go inside, the place is in shatters. What little furniture we had is destroyed covered in what looks like scorch marks to an outsider, but I know. It's Saiya's shadow powers. I knew that my leaving would have an impact on her, I didn't suspect how much.

"What happened?" I murmur to my mother. Karpov might know about her, but Joshua doesn't and I intend to keep it that way. I stroke my finger against the leg of a chair, which has been broken off and is now covered in what remains of Saiya's shadow power.

The first lesson I was taught in school wasn't how to control the Dark. It was that the Dark was ruthless and cruel. I see why as I look around the living room. The Dark is just the worst part of ourselves that no one wants to see. 

"She was scared. After you left she blamed herself and you know what happens when she gets...emotional." Mother hisses into my ear. Then she gives a nervous glance at Joshua. "Do you trust him?"

"No."

She blows a hair out of her face. "Well, of course, you don't. You never trust anyone. I'm asking if I can." Then she walks away towards Joshua making some sort of excuse about the mess. I feel my face redden. 

"Is it the sister who doesn't have mental blocks?" I hear Joshua say.

My heart stops. 

My throat tightens.

He knows.

He knows.

I look at my mother who isn't saying anything. I've only heard the words "mental block" once in my life. I was at the market for the first time by myself trying to get Karpov to give me a potion without giving away Saiya. 

He had stroked his chin and looked at me with sad eyes. "What you want is something that will build a mental block. It's the short one, isn't it? Your mother used to come here with you and her. I'm sorry to hear of your loss."

I wanted to deny it, but instead, I said, "Saiya isn't dead."

He looked up at me then, face emotionless except for the glistening of tears behind his bright yellow eyes. "She might as well be."