I can't Hurt You - Marcus Lopez Arguello

45

After an hour or two Petra and Billy went inside. Marcus and I were the only ones who remained on the roof. It was past curfew, maybe around 1:00 am, and by now and we were supposed to be in our beds but we didn't care. We sat on the edge of the roof and stared out into the city instead, not saying a word.

I felt content. I felt 100% happy for the first time in a long time, having him hold my hand as I rubbed his slightly scratched up knuckles with my thumb. They were always scratched or bruised due to some fight or clumsy mistake he made. It was like him to do such stupid things, but that made me love him even more.

The city was kind of pretty from up here, despite how shitty it was up close. Despite how shitty people living in it were. Despite how many traumatic memories most of the places in it held for us. It was peaceful though, as much peace as anyone around here gets anyway. We let that comfortable silence overtake us the whole time, letting our vision be occupied with the sights rather than our mouths be occupied with the million things we wanted to say. The million things we needed to say.

Now it was just a game of who would ruin the moment first. It was inevitably going to happen. We had to talk about Maria and the kiss. We had to talk about how I admitted we were together. We had to talk about where to go from here and what to do. We didn't argue much, so I wasn't scared of yelling or screaming. Instead I was scared of his thoughts. I was scared of his thoughts and what he wanted to do just like I was scared of mine.

Did he like the kiss with Maria? Was that why he was so quiet? Was he contemplating who he wanted right now? Was it her?

I let out a sigh of frustration before finally speaking up.

"We have to figure out the Maria situation. We need to get her under control." I said quietly as I kept looking out onto the city.

"We do?" He asked as I saw him from my peripheral look at me with a questioning look.

"Yeah." I said not looking at him.

"She's the one acting crazy." He justified.

"Yeah, and she's gonna get us all killed if we don't get her to stop. She's our responsibility." I said as I finally turned my head to look at him.

"Our responsibility? Like us?" He asked as he pointed between me and him.

"No, not like us. Like the group's responsibility. Saya, Billy, Willie, you, and me." I clarified.

"We don't know what the hell is wrong with her. I-I don't know lately one minute she's- she's sad and the next she's crazy." He explained.

"It's probably her disorder. Saya said she's off her pills." I suggested.

"Disorder?" Marcus questioned.

"Yeah, the bipolar." I clarified.

Marcus stared at me with his expression not changing.

"You don't know?" I asked.

"Know what?" Marcus asked in return.

"Maria's bipolar." I stated clearly.

"She's- she's what?" Marcus asked almost like he was in shock.

"Yeah, and it's totally treatable, but the problem is she's not treating it, which is why we need to do something." I explained.

"Son of a bitch." He muttered under his breath as he looked away.

"Yeah." I said as I looked back out onto the city.

"What can we do? How long has she been off her pills? And why didn't she tell us? She's going around like a psycho about to get us all caught for killing Chico." Marcus said frustratedly as he let go of my hand and ran his fingers through his curls.