Bride of the Warlock

Chapter 20: Alastair's Love Letter

ALASTAIR NOIR

"But you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life, am I right boy?"

"You just have to agree with my deal. I'll give you a bride. After all, you are all alone now."

"You fool, the way you are, you will never be loved. you may have a bride but you can never long her, nor can she."

I woke up with the sound of the birds chirping. For many years, they have always been my alarm. I stood up and strands of hair fell in my sight, I blew them away. Cutting them is a nuisance. My tunic slid down my shoulders and I stepped into the tub to wash myself.

100 years have passed. I've lived for that long. Naligaw ang paningin ko sa isang naligaw na dahon sa mga bula ng nililiguan ko. It is that time of year again. I've been hiding here for most of my life, living in hatred and emptiness. 

It's been sixteen years since my bride was born, I have never seen her. Nor do I want to, the blood of Keegan. It will only make me want to kill her. 

Keegan. Iniisip ko lang ang pangalan na iyon, gusto ko nang pumatay. Napatingin ako sa labas ng bintana, kinakaway ng hangin ang mga dahon sa puno.

Ah, it's today. I might as well give her a visit.

Namasyal ako sa bayan ng mga ordinaryong tao malapit sa kastilyo ng Keegan. Nararamdaman kong nandito siya, malapit sa akin. I wonder what Keegan will feel if his daughter will not return.

Di kalayuan, may nakita akong babae na nakasuot ng cloak, namimili ng mga gamit pagpinta, hindi ko mahagilap ang mukha ng babae dahil natatabunan ito ng hood ng cloak niya.

What would Keegan feel if I slaughter his daughter right now?

To lose something precious from him

To lose his mind because he can't protect his daughter

To regret not doing anything to save her

Hindi ko napansin at nakatayo na pala ako sa tabi niya, my hand hanging midair. She turned to me.

"Ano ba?!" inis niyang singhal sa akin. I didn't realize I was pushing my body against her.

I was snapped back to reality, I didn't realize that my intent for killing was as strong as this. Somebody threw their bag at me, making me look like a thief.

I can't let them see me.

I pulled her wrist without realizing it. Together we ran away from the guards until we reached a dead end. I felt guilty for trying to escape on my own, I looked at her.

"I shall see you soon"

I saw her being punished by the humans. People threw eggs and other things at her. I silently left, there is nothing I could do.

Later that night, I followed her to the castle. I concealed my presence so that nobody can see me. She was kneeling in front of her family and other servants. I raised my brows, I doubted that if I killed the child on the spot, will her father and family really be devastated.

Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na pumasok sa isang lugar na pinakaaawayan ko. Kung gusto kong maging maayos ang plano ko, dapat alam ko kung sino ang makakalaban ko. isang daang taon na ang dumaan at iba na ang mga taong naninirahan dito pero wala pa ring pinakbaiba. Madudumi pa rin sila tulad ng mga nauna sa kanila.

Just being in this place makes me feel fucking sick.

"Father, father please don't!" I saw her beg, on her knees. Tears flowing down her cheeks, her red ruby eyes were like her father's, and the chiefs before them. She clasped her palms together, rubbing them, and asked for forgiveness.

But Keegan's eyes never changed. Still merciless, still full of rage.

I left. And here I thought something about them changed. I have all the more reason to hate them.

Pumatak ang hating gabi at sumilip ako sa bintana ng kwarto. Binuksan ko ito at tahimik na pumasok. I don't understand why I'm still here, I should've left earlier. But something was telling me to have one last look.

Nakaupo siya sa sahig habang nakasandig ang kanyang ulo sa higaan. I removed my hood and took a closer look. 

She looked so frail, so weak and powerless. My hand reached out to her hair and stopped when she made a noise, she was whimpering in her sleep. 

"You are so powerless for a proud daughter of Keegan."

She started to wake up and I hid myself in the shadows. Tumayo siya at naglakad palapit sa bintana at tumingin sa buwan. Her eyes were longing and lonely.

I hear steps approaching the room, maybe it's time for me to leave. I stole one last look at my bride.

"Happy seventeenth birthday, my love."

I was supposed to kill her, I was supposed to hate her. I was supposed to use her against Keegan. 

But when I saw her being scared from the attacks of the Amorti

When I saw her being ridiculed and humiliated for her dreams and beliefs

When I saw her being cast aside and abandoned by her family

When I saw her hide moondust that she collected for months

When I saw her try so hard to be loved 

When I saw her working so hard to fill in the gaps

When I saw her care for some lowly servant

When I saw her pray to the moon every night

When I saw her work hard like a commoner rather than of nobility

When I saw her laugh her heart out at stupid things

When I saw her cry at the things that hurt her

I don't know if it's because I see myself in her in a way, or how I see emotions in her that I do not have. I was supposed to despise her, I was supposed to use her to break my curse.

And yet every day I grow fund of her. Yet every day I see myself letting her live just one more day, just one more day. I never knew I could be like this, I never knew I'd be so worried about a single child. 

"Alastair, kumain ka na?"

"Alastair anong gagawin mamaya?"

"Alastair anong gusto mo?"

"Alastair"

"Alastair"

Day by day I wanted to hear her voice speaking my name, like a spell. I wondered how she started to tame me, to make me worry about her. I don't want people to hurt her, I don't want her to cry, I want to give her more than what the world can offer her. I want the world to see how bright her smile is

and yet

I just want her to smile for me, I started to become greedy and wanted her all for myself. Will she hate it? does she feel the same? I thought maybe, she'd want it too.

Gusto ko nalang matawa sa sarili ko, to know how foolish I've become. To save the person I was trying to kill from the start. 

Adelina, you are one dangerous thing.

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END