It Just Happened

10. After The Game

' Cause you let go/ And now I'm holdin' on/ I guess you don't know what you got/ Until it's gone/Sometimes you gotta lose somebody/ Just to find out you really love someone' - One Republic-Lose Somebody

                                                                        Jaxon

"I'm sorry Jaxon, but he will not even let me talk about you." I hang my head low, because I fucked up big time and I do not know how to make it right again.

"It's okay Kayla. I fucked up big time." She tries to sit up in bed but struggles I get up and help her out. "I'm not getting any better and I'm waiting until after the game to talk to Luke about the next step."

Fuck this is going to kill him.

"What next step?"

"To stop all treatments."

"Kayla" I sigh because this is going to destroy him, and I can't even be there for him. Because I am the biggest fuck up in the world.

"Jaxon, I'm tired and I have been fighting this for three years. The tumors are growing some of them are inoperable. I don't want to have to keep going in for surgery after surgery. To see if there is a slight chance of them being removed or gone. So, whatever happens after the treatment ends happens. I've made peace with it. Do I want to die? No, but I'm not afraid anymore."

I grab her hand and hold on to her. Tears start flowing down her face. I get up and wipe them away. I know she is right, it's just so fucking unfair.

"I hate this! I hate feeling weak. I know I'll never get to experience any firsts. No first kiss, no first date...nothing. But what I can do is try to make things right between you two. You know why? Because I love my brother so damn much. I want him happy, and he was happy with you."

I hang my head again and feel the tears coming because it's all my fault. I fucked up big time. If I just stopped and listened, none of this would have happened.

"It's been over three months now. I have tried but he just walks away. He spends all his time with Stacy."

That fucking hurts the worse. More than how he ended things with me.

After he left me, I went home and stayed in my room and cried like a little bitch. My heart hurt, I was pissed the fuck off and so hurt. I was mainly sad and full of regret. I fucked up the best thing I had and for what?  To prove something that I knew wasn't true. Lucas and I have grown on a whole other level. The sex is phenomenal, but just us being together laughing and holding each other mattered more. I have never felt that connection with anyone and I realize I fell in love with the asshole, I just didn't realize it until he was gone.

"He's hurt Jaxon. You're the first person who he was actually himself with. Our parents did a number on him." She shakes her head and I see her walls go up every time she has mentioned her parents.

"I'll be right back Kayla."

"Where are you going?"

"I got a surprise for you."

I kiss her forehead and walk across the street to get her a shake that she loves. I might not be able to make things right with Lucas, but I will give her something to make her smile. Who would have thought the Roberts siblings are the most important people in my life now. Even if one of them is not speaking to me. I turn around and I swear that it felt like he was right here. I shake my head, because that is just crazy talk. I walk back up to her room and hand her a shake and set mine on the table as well.

"What's this Jaxon?"

"You're first date." I rub the back of my head. Maybe it might seem creepy, I don't know. When I look up at her face, she has the brightest smile. I miss that smile on a certain asshole's face.