It Just Happened

29. Wish I Could Go Back

                                                                                       Lucas

Darkness, that's all I see all around me. What the hell happened and where am I? I don't like this feeling, and it leaves a chill throughout my body. Somebody, please help me! I try to yell but nothing comes out. Jaxon, where is he? Did I die? That must be it, I'm dead. If this is what death is like, to be alone and in darkness, I don't want to be here.

You're not dead brother. Well not yet anyways.

Kayla

A light appears and it gets brighter, almost blinding me. My breath hitches when I see my baby sister.

Luke. How I've missed you. My throat clogs and I feel like I'm going to cry but nothing comes out. I miss you so damn much Kayla.

Well, it's not our time to meet again. You need to fight Luke, for yourself and for Jaxon.

Jaxon where is he? I look around but see nothing besides Kayla. You need to wake up Luke before it's too late.

I don't understand.

I love you Luke.

I love you sis

Wake up!

Kayla screams and then all of the sudden she is gone. I feel like I'm in a vortex and then water is all around me. Jaxon lays limp next to me.

"Jaxon!"

My cry is useless because I just swallow water instead. Holding my breath, I go to unfasten my seatbelt but it's already off. Moving as fast as I can I get to Jaxon and blow air into his mouth. Just praying that it will help. I try to break the windshield, knowing I have no other choice.

Hang in there Jaxon, please.

As I try to break the windshield the car jerks the car goes up. This is my chance before it goes back down. I kick it hard and break through. Struggling to get Jaxon out as the car goes back down, I finally pull us through and struggle against the current. Bright lights blind me as I see it shine down from a helicopter.

"HELP!"

I try to scream out, but my voice is hoarse. If only we stayed at the cabin this wouldn't have happened. I lose my grip on Jaxon and when I get him up to my chest again, something strikes me in the back of the head hard. My vision gets blurry, but I fight against it. I need to stay awake to save Jax. As my eyelids get heavier, I feel like the tears are burning my face.

I'm sorry Jaxon, I failed you... I failed us again.

Something tugs on me and my grip on Jaxon tightens. Don't take him away from me. Everything fades to black.

My eyelids flutter open, and I'm surrounded by bright light again.  I died...I know I did and right now it's what I deserve... to be dead. I deserve to be in hell for not being able to save us, to save him. Just like I couldn't save Kayla, I deserve what comes to me. The beeping sound pulls me out of my self-pity and misery, and when I look around, I see Eddie sitting in a chair.

"Fuck!" My head is pounding, and Eddie jumps up and comes to me. "Thank God you're awake."

"Jaxon?" I try to sit up but everything fucking hurts. Eddie puts a hand on my shoulder, and I feel his hand shaking. "Calm down son, he's here but he's in a coma."

"What? No!" I try to get out of bed, but he puts both hands on my shoulders to keep me in place. "Th-they had to revive him after they pulled you both out of the water."

My body shakes and I start crying uncontrollably. "I'm so s-sorry. I c-couldn't g-get us out of there fast enough." Eddie pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. "You saved him Lucas." I shake my head on the verge of losing my shit. "I didn't Eddie. I fucking caused this!" I struggle to get away from him, but he just holds me steady. I don't deserve his kindness. If it wasn't for me Jaxon would never be here right now. "I'm going to go call the doctor to let him know you're awake. Also let Kate know that one of our boys is awake."

"I don't deserve your kindness," I say as he heads to the door. Eddie turns around and looks at me with such kindness, "or anything from you." He shakes his head and gives me a sad smile. "You deserve more than you realize Lucas. Jaxon loves you and that is a miracle in itself. So, you are someone that deserves love, don't ever forget that." With that he leaves the room and I get lost in my thoughts.

Jaxon would have never been in this situation if it wasn't for me. It should have been me this happened to. I hate myself for everything he has gone through, just because he is with me. God Jaxon please be alright.

Two days later Kate was able to sneak me into Jaxon's room and when I saw him, I broke down again. Jax had a bandage on his head. They had to do surgery to stop the internal bleeding. He had to be put into an induced coma to help reduce the swelling around his brain. I sat beside him and cried again. "I'm so sorry Jaxon, you don't deserve this." I press my lips to his forehead. While Jaxon lays here broken, I got off with hardly a scratch. The only thing I ended up with was a mild concussion.

"He's strong Lucas, he will pull through." Kate says as she pulls me into a hug. I hold onto her and feel comfort in her embrace. I wish my mother was this loving. Thinking of her makes me tense up. "It's their fault! They did this to him...to us." Kate pulls back to look at me with determination in her eyes. "We will get to the bottom of this. No one hurts my boys and gets away with it."

Days turn into weeks and nothing. He still lays there looking peaceful. I want to shake him so badly to wake up. "Damnit Jaxon! You need to wake up. C'mon you cocky son of a bitch! I fucking need you!" I lay my head near his hand and feel it twitch. I jump up and look at him, his fingers move. Maybe it was just my imagination, or wishful thinking.

Maybe I'm losing my fucking mind.

Then he moves them again. I smile for the first time in weeks. "That's it fucker, wake up and let me see your eyes."  Then something happens that I didn't think I would see again, he opens his eyes.

                                                                                   He's awake.