It Just Happened

13. She's Really Gone

                                                                                 Lucas

She should have been able to outlive me. Doctor Burns said she went into cardiac arrest and they couldn't bring her back. I'm sitting in my room feeling numb and I have to make the call I am dreading to.

"Hello Sheila."

"Lucas, I am your mother."

"Ha! That's very funny mother. Especially when you signed your rights over to me for Kayla."

"How is my darling girl?" My blood boils. After this I swear, I am done with them.

"She's dead! I hope your fucking happy."

"Sh-she can't be."

I hear her sniffle. What a fucking joke. My hands begin to shake.

"Don't you dare act like you fucking care. If you did you would have been there!"

I start yelling and my door opens to see Jaxon walk in. His eyes are all red at least he fucking cares. He sits on my bed and grabs my hand and pulls me to him. I sit on his lap, and he just holds onto me. I am so grateful for that.

"I do care."

"Bullshit! I don't know why I bother. The funeral is next Saturday at St. Katherine's at one."

"We are coming back tonight."

"Don't fucking bother."

"Lucas don't you dare talk to me like that. I am your mother."

"Not anymore!"

I end the call and jump out of Jax's arms, and he lets me. I pick up my lamp and throw it, and it shatters on the floor. "IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR JAX!" I throw everything off my desk and start punching it. I see the indents from each punch. My knuckles hurt but I just don't fucking care anymore.

I hear footsteps come up and I hear Jax say he will handle it and shuts my door. I pick up anything I can and start throwing it.

"WHY HER?!" I scream as I punch my wall.

"I don't know."

I fall down to the floor and cry. Jax take me in his arms and holds me.

"She knew Jax. She fucking knew. That's why she said goodbye. She's never said that before. Why couldn't she have told me?" He tilts my chin up so I can look into his eyes, and I see the tears fall down his face. "Would it have made a difference? You still wouldn't be able to do anything about it."

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have got to spend the day with her b-before she died."

"I'm glad I thought of it given the circumstances." He runs his hands through my hair. Then a crazy thought comes to my head, and I regret it the moment I say it.

"Did you know Jax?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of course not!" Maybe I am going crazy, and I feel like shit now, because I see the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry I don't know what I'm saying." I get up and start pacing in my disaster of a room. "I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye."

"I'll be there with you babe."

I whirl around to face him. I swear I feel like a crazy person right now. "What's the fucking point?"

"What are you talking about?" He arches his eyebrow and gives me a questionable look.

"Love, what's the fucking point of it! You love someone and they leave you. I loved my parents at some point, and they left. I loved Kayla so much and she left. I love you and you're going to leave. So, what's the fucking point of it. You might as well leave now before it kills me."