BOMBS AWAY ➤ kaz brekker

prideful bastard

Kaz's mind was unlike any other. He could formulate complex plans in minutes, understand the inner workings of the Ice Court without ever having stepped foot inside. He built a legendary gang from the ground up, making a name for himself and everyone who followed him. Yet he simply couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Esther had died, and then returned from whatever was beyond death to utter obscene curse words. It defied logic, reason, and science all in one. It was almost like a miracle.

It was almost like magic.

He had thought he understood Grisha magic. He knew that there were certain orders (Healers and Heartrenders, Squallers and Tidemakers and Inferni, and Durasts and Alkemi.) He knew that they couldn't summon matter, only controlled already existing energy. Their magic had limits. Tidemakers couldn't lift the entire ocean from its bed. Healers couldn't raise the dead to join the living once more.

But yet, Esther lived. Kaz knew Nina was a powerful Heartrender, but he didn't think she could bring someone back to life. And somehow, Esther defied the very rule all Grisha lived by. She summoned fire without flint. Instead of relying on the spark, she was the spark. She was the entire goddamn fire, and finally Kaz found his senses again and recognized that Esther was something to fear. Grisha were bound by the laws of the Small Science. To Esther, openly defying these laws and breaking the universe was just a Wednesday.

He couldn't begin to understand where to start with her. 

Esther couldn't care less if she was a magical faerie or a demon from another world, gifted to her mother by fallen saints. She was content with still breathing. She spent the remainder of her days on the boat scouring the deck of the ship, at ease with the rocking of the waves, watching fish swim by underneath in the clear blue waters. The overcast skies and disheartened mood of the rest of the crew didn't seem to bother her. She watched from the railing in wonder and secretly pretended that all this vast ocean was hers, her birthright, something grand to be gifted to her when she was ready. All this freedom was something out of a fairytale. 

In Ketterdam she was constantly in danger, and not just because it was a dangerous place. She heard stories of girls and boys who randomly disappeared in the night, never to be seen again. Nothing official was stated about these kidnappings, but the term witch hunters was whispered in an undercurrent along with the news. Everywhere she went, she felt the invisible eyes of drüskelle waiting for her to reveal herself as an Inferni. Even stopping for a coffee was dangerous. Staying still in public anywhere was dangerous. You always had to keep moving.

But on the waves she felt no fear. The only witch hunter that threatened her here was Helvar, and he was chained. Even as they approached an icy land of hatred, the wretched place where both her mother and her sister hailed from, she couldn't find any form of apprehension. She knew the Dregs would protect her.

On the subject of her sister...

She had heard from Inej that Marit had declined to attend the Dregs' makeshift funeral for her. She wasn't surprised - sisterly affection was never exactly their forte. But it was basic human decency to mourn the loss of someone who shared the same father. She would never love her sister, but she knew deep down that if Marit got thrown overboard by Kaz right now - which was proving very possible, as the two were already at odds with each other, and throwing scathing glances in each other's direction - she would be at least a little pissed off. At least he could have let her do the throwing. 

So it was that Marit ignored every aspect of Esther's continued existence. Esther faintly wondered if her sister had gone completely bonkers and thought that Esther was still dead. They avoided any interaction as much as possible, but the few times they did make contact, it was as if she didn't exist. Was her sister going blind and deaf, or was she just mad Esther had made it through?