One Touch | Charlie Gillespie

E L E V E N

Then I collapse on the floor, between the shards and the glass.

Q U I N N

The guy named Charlie is a real sweetie. He's kind and understanding, and not to mention his good sense of humour. June has mentioned his name before, but she didn't talk about him much.

We talk a few more minutes at the lobby, until he asks me to grab lunch together.

"I'd love to, but I promised my cuz that I'll visit her at work," I reply. "Do you know where I can find the screenwriters?"

His face becomes surprised at first, but soon turns into a sour look, as if he'd eaten a tub of lemons. The veins in his hands swell up, and the color in his neck slowly turns red.

Charlie swallows and clears his throat several times, before he asks me: "Screenwriters? Who's your cousin?"

I stare at him, shocked and surprised at his strange reaction. "Are you okay?"

He nods quickly, but I see by the look on his face that he's clearly not okay. I seriously think he's about to throw up.

"Yeah I'm fine, really. So who's your cousin?" he says casually, but also extravagantly nervous. Geez, what the hell is wrong with this guy?

"Her name's June. I think you might know her, she works for this show called—" I pause to try to remember the name of the show, June told me so many times the past few months, but I constantly forget it. "Yea I don't know," I finally say, shrugging my shoulders. "I forgot."

Charlie rubs his neck and looks to the ground, muttering something incomprehensible. I tilt my head slightly and look at him with furrowed brows.

"Dude, seriously, what's up with you?" I ask. It seems like he wants to say something, but he stops.

"Julie and the Phantoms, that's what the show's called," he finally says, and then he walks away, through the large doors of the main entrance.

"What the fuck?" I mutter under my breath as I watch the guy leave. "Okay, well thanks for nothing, I still don't know where to find her!" I call after him sarcastically, but he's already out of sight. "Weirdo."

J U N E

Half an hour later, Charlie is still nowhere to be seen. Not that I care. I mean, he has no reason to be mad about something I accidentally said.

Sure, maybe about our argument yesterday, or that one time after we... well, at Sarah's birthday. But come on, I didn't do it on purpose. What does he think? That I wanted to confess my love for him in front of my boss? Hell no.

On the other hand, I know I can't blame him. And for that, I sometimes really hate myself.

I also hate myself for not thinking before I say something, and I hate myself for falling in love so quickly. I hate myself for humiliating myself over and over again, but mostly I hate myself for having voices inside of me who are telling me I'm worthless.

But that's just who I am, so I'll have to learn to deal with it.

_____

It starts raining outside, the tapping of the drops against the window makes me a bit calmer. I'm sitting in the chair which has it's place in the corner of the living room. I curl up my legs and pull them tight against me. It makes me feel safe.

Madison took me back to our apartment, because I couldn't stop crying and I was a total mess. Oh, and my period has just started. This is really my lucky day.