One Touch | Charlie Gillespie

N I N E T E E N

She ran away?

After hours and hours running my feelings out, I'm soaked by the rain and exhausted.

Looking at my phone, the big letters on my lock screen tell me it's almost midnight. Dozens of missed calls from Quinn, Savannah and some unknown numbers fill the screen, but I ignore them all. I love being alone and just walking and thinking, while the sound of the raindrops hitting against the sidewalk keep me calm. The dim light from the lampposts make me feel a little safer. I mean, walking down the streets alone at night as a twenty-year-old female is not always such a good idea.

But where else do I have to go? I have no friends or family in town and going back to the apartment is no option right now. Of course I'll go back eventually, but only when everyone will be asleep. I know they are worried and wonder where I am, but I have no needs to talk to someone right now— not even to Quinn.

The weirdest part is, that I'm not hurt, or offended, or sad about the situation. I'm confused, but other than that, I just feel empty— I didn't even cry. I thought I would, that is why I ran away to made sure he wouldn't see me crying, but I just didn't felt the need to cry. The tears weren't coming. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe we just aren't meant for each other, or it's the right person but the wrong time.

It is not that I believe in fate, I never did. But something about him screams we are meant to be. As if the word soulmate is written on his forehead. But then why did he end it?

As I'm wondering about that and thousands of other questions, the rain stops at exactly 1:07 in the morning. My mascara has run out, creating dark lines underneath my eyes, making them look darker and smaller. The thick, dark hair I always have is now falling in wet wisps down my face and clinging to my cheeks. The baby-blue shirt I'm wearing is soaked and shines through, so you can see the black cups of my bra. I'm cold and tired, but I know my roommates aren't sleeping yet.

After sauntering for a while, I reluctantly find a bus stop and sit down on the bench with my knees pulled up. Leaning with my head against the plastic wall, I slowly close my eyes and feel the really strong need to sleep.

The drama queen inside me is really blowing up tonight, I feel like I'm in some sort of depressive movie. But once again, I feel nothing. No sadness, no anger— nothing. All I want right now is to be alone, even if I have to spend the night on the bench in a bus stop with wet clothes and a cold skin. Just alone.

Messages and calls are still up coming, but the battery of my phone is almost dead, so I decide to turn it off to save the battery in case I need the phone for an emergency. Before I do that, I send a short but clear message to Quinn, saying that I am doing fine and will return home when the sun rises. It's her last day tomorrow and I don't want to make it all about me, even though I might already did. But the last thing I can do is to make sure I'm okay, and that she doesn't need to worry.

With my phone tucked under my legs, making sure it won't get wet by the rain, I daze off after vaguely hearing the rain dropping on the streets again.

C H A R L I E

It's 3 in the morning and I still lay on Julie's bed with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling. Sleep doesn't sound interesting to me, because the minute I close my eyes, I see her face. The face she gave me when she stood there, a few feet away, in the doorway. Tears picking in her eyes and her shoulders bowed, her hands slightly trembling and clenched. Getting that sight out of my head almost seems impossible.

But I know I have made the right decision. It's best for both of us, she just doesn't realize it. But I do. I know if we continued whatever this was, she'd be distracted from her work. And since Kenny only wants focused and hard working people on his team, that would be a huge risk and I didn't want to take that.

I sigh. Who am I kidding? I know that's not the main reason I ended things. Because the more she's around me, the stronger my feelings get and the more she drives me crazy. So feeling guilty or not, I have already put an end to our story, so why keep worrying about that? That is what I thought before I get a call from an unknown number. Confusingly, I pick up, wondering who'd call me in the middle of the night.

"Hello?" I uncertainly say.

"Who the hell do ya think you are? Breakin' up or whatever you've done to her, couldn't you—"

The person couldn't finish their sentence, because the phone is grabbed away from their hands.

"Quinn, calm down a little," I hear the familiar voice of Savannah whisper. Then she clears her throat. "Charlie, hello, this is Savannah. What Quinn meant to say—"

"Gimme the damn phone," Quinn snaps and she's back on the line again. "Couldn't you wait 'till tomorrow? What has gone into your dirty little mind to do that at night? She fuckin' ran away like a damn child, and that's all on you!"

I hear some mumbling in the background and I hold my breath. She ran away?

"Okay, Sav here again, so as you just heard, June ran away after your talk and she hasn't returned back yet. Do you know where she is or do you have any idea where she could might be?" she asks, a deep sight following after. "And by the way, where are you? We've been knocking on your door for half an hour and we only got a sleepy Owen opening the door."

"Shit, I—" I search for words, but I have no idea what to say. "Have you tried tracking her phone?"

"Oh my gosh!" I hear Quinn yell in the background. "Is he really that stupid?"
I guess that's the answer to my question. There's a pause for a moment, but then the terrifying sound of the blonde's voice rings in my ears again. "Yes, we're not dumb. Of course we tracked her phone, but she turned her location off."

That makes sense. Getting out of Julie's comfy bed, I slip on my shoes and jacket and run off the stairs, the phone still clenched to my ear. "I'm on my way, don't go anywhere, okay?"

I hear an annoyed sight in return. After a few secondes of silence, she mutters, "Fine, but hurry."