Expensive Mistakes

How Cruel Is the Golden Rule

Tobi was emotionally exhausted and painfully hungover when he responded to Rudolph's text, agreeing to the meet-up. Instantly, he wondered whether he should find and excuse to cancel. 

They had been best friends when they were younger. Rudy had gone to the nearby high school and had explored the woods on the church property with a group of friends and got separated. He'd stumbled upon Tobi's clearing and returned, managing to befriend the other boy. But they'd had a falling out for similar reasons as Tobi and Emilio's breakup (Tobi probably needed to deal with some issues, he admitted to himself reluctantly). 

They hadn't really spoken since then. Why did Rudy want to reconnect now? 

Cancelling would probably be the best option. But the agreed-upon date was approaching and Tobi found himself procrastinating on cancelling. 

This can't possibly end well, Tobi thought as he walked into the small restaurant he and Rudy were meeting in. Reluctantly, he made his way to the table where Rudy was waving to him. "Um, hello," he said awkwardly, sitting down.

"Hi Tobi. It's been awhile, hasn't it?" Rudy greeted happily. 

Tobi tried to find passive aggressiveness in his friendly smile and tone, but there was none. "How have you been?" he asked, glancing to Rudolph's wrists. He wore long sleeves has he usually did, but Tobi knew they concealed many scars.

"Better. I've been able to come to terms with things from the past. I've changed quite a bit since high school. I think we all have. Carmelo and I started dating awhile back."

Tobi raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?" Tobi had never met Carmelo, but Rudy had told plenty of stories. A bully who seemed unable to cope with his feelings, so he took them out on Rudy.

"Yeah. He's really matured a lot. It's been going pretty well, but he still feels really bad about what all happened."

"I should hope so," Tobi said. "I think you can be too forgiving, but I suppose if you're happy."

Tobi paused for a moment, wondering if he should ask the question that had been plaguing him since Rudy contacted him. "You're... not still mad? At me?"

Rudy smiled. "I don't think I'd be here if I was. It was years ago and we said some things we shouldn't have. It's in the past now."

"I should have known it would become a pattern," Tobi mumbled bitterly.

Rudy looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

Tobi cursed himself for saying anything. "Oh, nothing. I was in a relationship, but we ended up breaking up for a similar reason that you and I fell out. We haven't spoken since the breakup. I want to, but I can't bring myself to contact him. I'm sure he hates me, anyways."

"Probably not," Rudy said earnestly. "I never hated you. I honestly felt the same way you do, and I'm sure he does, too. You should talk to him."

"I should tell him about what's going on with me, shouldn't I?" Tobi sighed miserably. "If I want Emilio in my life— which I do—"

"Wait," Rudy interrupted. "Not Emilio Murkmere, right?"

Tobi frowned slightly. "That's him. Why?"

"He was one of Carmelo's friends. I mean, he never hurt me, he was just kind of there. Two grades above. He was quiet— a little bit creepy, so I guess just your type."

Tobi blushed furiously. "He thought I was fascinating..."

"He would," Rudy laughed. "Listen. You really should talk to him. You're going to have to open up, but if you really want to make it work, I think you can. And whatever secrets you think are too dark for him, I'm sure he can handle them."

Tobi nodded.

Emilio opened the door and invited Carmelo inside. 

"Place is nice," Carmelo said, looking around. 

"Thank you."

"Whaddya do?"

"I work at the hospital."

Carmelo nodded, sitting down on the couch.

"Where's Rudolph?" Emilio asked. He was pleased Carmelo had gotten over his internalized homophobia and admitted his feelings for the other boy. 

"Oh, he's meeting up with another friend."

"How have you two been?"

Carmelo blushed lightly. "Good, good," he said. "I can't believe we're dating after everything I put him through, but it's been nice. I still feel like shit about it, though. What about you? Seeing anyone?"

Emilio grimaced slightly, not wanting his failed relationship attempts to be compared to Carmelo and Rudolph's domestic bliss. "I was, but not anymore."

"What happened?" Carmelo asked.

"There just wasn't trust."

Carmelo frowned. "Like... cheating?"

"No, he had some past trauma that he insisted on bottling up. I suppose I tried to rush him into opening up. I was concerned for him which caused me to act stupidly and rashly."

"Do you guys still talk?"

Emilio shook his head, sadly. "No. I've been meaning to contact him— I promised my sister I would— but I haven't been able to work up the courage. I'm afraid he hates me."

"Well, I mean, if Rudy doesn't hate me," Carmelo shrugged. 

"Rudolph and Tobias are a bit different, I'm afraid," Emilio sighed. "He's so closed off. He's taught himself not to trust others and to push everyone away. He couldn't possibly let me closer than before I hurt him."

Carmelo considered this for a moment. "I guess. But you won't really know until you try, right? I mean, he might push you away and say he doesn't want to talk. Or he might surprise you." Emilio gave him a look. "All I'm saying is you'll never move on if you're stuck wondering if he hates you. And me might, but then you can get over him. And if not, well, work through things." Carmelo shrugged again and reclined back casually.

Emilio thought his advice through. For once, it seemed, Carmelo had a point. It would be difficult to move on if he didn't know how Tobi really felt about him. Maybe there was a chance he didn't need to move on. "You.. you make a good point."

"Yep," Carmelo said, popping the 'p'. "You should probably text him now."

"Why?" Emilio asked, suddenly feeling quite panicked. 

"Because you might not do it if I don't force you. And besides, I wanna see what happens."

This was also a good point. Somewhat reluctantly, Emilio pulled out his phone and opened his texts with Tobi. He typed out :We need to talk:, his finger hovering over the send button. 

"Do it," Carmelo urged.

Emilio squeezed his eyes shut and hit send. 

His phone buzzed in his hand and he expected a notification saying his text hadn't delivered because Tobi had blocked him.

Instead, there was a text reading the same as his.

A/N Happy Wednesday!! And it might actually finally be a happy Wednesday for once! Looks like things are about to turn around. Chapter title from "Golden" by Fall Out Boy. You guys. This book is so close to being finished and I'm so excited. Three more chapters. See you guys next week!